Ok, so I was at lunch with a bunch of friends, and one of them put her elbows on the table. My other friend pushes her elbows off and tells her not to do that, because it's rude.
Does anyone know why she said that? Is it really rude to do that?
2006-11-11 05:45:56 · 17 answers · asked by Montez Grl 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
My parents always tell me it's rude to have your elbows on the table while eating, but I also think it's rude to physically push someone's elbows off the table. If you go out to a nice restauraunt then you should refrain from putting your elbows on the table, but no one gets dirty looks in McDonald's for this offense.
2006-11-11 05:53:11 · answer #1 · answered by staubfinger 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
In the old days of banquetting, it was considered rude to raise your elbows above the level of the table while eating (unless you were taking a drink) because doing so might knock someone elses' food off the table, or you might get your elbow in their food, or you might elbow them in the face while you were cutting your meat or something...
On tables with a little more space between people, there's not much wrong with putting your elbows on the table, so long as it isn't some really fancy dinner thing.
So, yes, it really is rude to put your elbows on the table... sometimes... but not nearly as rude as it is to reach across the table to push someone's elbows off the table.
Reaching over a table and pushing elbows off is considered a public disgrace of both members, and the only way to properly handle such a serious affront would be to duel with pistols at 30 paces until one party or the other is dead... but hopefully your friends can come up with a less murderous way of apologizing to each other.
2006-11-11 14:16:24 · answer #2 · answered by ye_river_xiv 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, putting your elbows on the table while eating is considered very rude.
There are many different theories as to the origin of this etiquette rule; according to one source, the great houses and castles of England during the middle ages did not have dining tables in the great halls, so tables were made from trestles and covered with a cloth. The diners sat along one side only; if they put their elbows on the table and leant too heavily, the table could collapse.
I believe, however, that we find elbows on the table rude because the person leaning on the table with their elbows is taking up more than their alloted amount of space.
Whatever the origin, however, keeping your elbows off the table during mealtimes is a well accepted practice of good dining manners.
2006-11-11 13:57:21 · answer #3 · answered by elcie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For some people it is rude, especially for older people who were raised all "proper", but it really depends on the company you're keeping. If no one cares, then it doesn't matter whether you put your elbows on the table or not, but there are some people who think it's rude. I'm not sure exactly why, it's just etiquette, and since when did that make sense anyway?
2006-11-11 13:54:50 · answer #4 · answered by ....A Tragedy.... 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good manners says it's not right to put your elbows on the table........
However I have scoliosis.....curvature of the spine all my life, and I don't like to tell anyone....and it helps my balance when I PUT MY ELBOWS ON THE TABLE....
and you definitely need to tell the other person that it is rude, and downright illegal to put you hands on another's elbows or any part of any other person's body, without their permission.
Yes, your so called friend was rude, and broke the law by assaulting the other child!
Now, remember that for the rest of your life...asssssault....is just not right...no matter how uppity the other person thinks they are.
It takes a real friend to say, hey, don't hurt my friend and don't push people around!!!!!...it affected you so badly, that you wrote it down...here!
2006-11-11 14:35:09 · answer #5 · answered by May I help You? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Supposedly, ya, it's considered rude. It kind of depends on you family and their background. Some families don't care, others are very strict about it. It also depends on the restaurant. If it was a fast food, or casual diner type place, putting your elbows on the table would be fine. At some place a little fancier, however, it's probably not OK.
2006-11-11 13:56:43 · answer #6 · answered by Mariah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Putting your elbows on the table is not rude. Your friend probably doesn't like your other friend.
2006-11-11 15:46:06 · answer #7 · answered by Lamisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Elbows on the table is considered rude in some cultures to varying degrees.
Pushing someones elbows off the table and humiliating them in public in indescribably, unbelievably ignorant and obnoxious. For your one friend to criticise the other for a lack of manners is incredibly hypocritical, since she has none herself.
2006-11-11 14:36:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is classed as rude but many years ago it was classed as good manners, when your elbows were on the table you could not have your weapon (dagger) in your hand. Therefore everybody felt safe, as they could see if you were holding a weapon.
I do not know when it was changed to having elbows on the table being rude.
2006-11-11 13:57:28 · answer #9 · answered by jizzi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is considered bad to put your elbows on the table, but your friend was even more impolite in pushing the elbows off. She should have just told her.
2006-11-11 13:55:10 · answer #10 · answered by Mariposa 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋