Ok, im 19 years old and my girlfriend of 1 year just dumped me. we have been friends on and off and had atrractions for one another since 6th grade. threw thick and thin. Now the other night she says that she is unhappy. I suffer with depression and i had to drag her through it. I am now almost 1 month into medication and i feel alot better and am improving. She knows this as well but she says she is scared things wont change. i know that she loves me with all her heart. i miss her so much and i feel that She is the one for me. I do not wish to let her go. People say let her go but thats not what i want to do. She is to the point where i belive she is agitated just talking to me. She has began working alot and she says that she needs time for what she wants to do. She wants to work, shop etc and not worry about a boyfriend. she also says sinc e we began dating we have both dumped all of our friends for each other. Nether of us have anyone now. I cant do this alone. I really do miss he
2006-11-11 05:41:41 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your depression probably showed her a side of you she wasn't ready to deal with. At 19, no one wants to think about having to care for someone for the rest of their lives if they don't get over it. You may have become so needy and clingy that she needed to let her friends go in order to help you for the time being. But now that you are on medication, she doesn't have to feel guilty about taking the first boat out. You can't blame her and in effect, she has done you a huge favor. Do you want to find out in 5 years that she's not in it for the long haul? Would that make it easier? You are only 1 year into this relationship. Let it go, for now. She may just need time to recoup and see if you overcome your depression. If I were you, I'd start doing my best to show her, even if she isn't looking, that you can overcome this and won't be the anchor that weighs her down. And if she doesn't want to come back, its over. I would start seeing my friends and be careful about who I pick the next time, as it seems you may be overlooking some key elements that are imperitive in a long term relationship. After all, getting married till one of you gets sick isn't the promise, its thru sickness AND HEALTH. So this girl has demonstarted she has the health part down but is not down for the sickness part. She did you a favor, she showed her character BEFORE you married her. I know it hurts, but I don't think you have lost what you think you have lost. I am glad you got help for your depression and I hope you continue to mend. Good luck!
2006-11-11 05:58:04 · answer #1 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I am sorry that you are going through depression at such a young age. I have been through my episodes of depression too. Just moodiness more so. I understand how important it is to have someone there to support you during this time. However, only you can make the change. Only you can take yourself out of depression. You have to look at life in a positive aspect. There are ups and there are downs. And just believe that your down is done with...and start moving up on the hill! As for your girlfriend, you do have to let her go...just for the time being. If you two have been through thick and thin and if she was meant for you, you two will be together... But, right now, she needs her space. She need to do what she needs and need to get her social life back so she can be happy again. Likewise, you need to do the same. You need to find your old friends or go meet new one. Do the things that you like most. Be productive! When you are able to stand on your two feet, she will come back to you. In the meanwhile, you should have a heart to heart conversation with her. Let her know that you love her, and that you don't want to let her go...but you will let her go for now and let her have her space...so that you TWO will be able to be happier. If she is the world to you, she will be your driving force to get better.
2006-11-11 05:56:05 · answer #2 · answered by cheery 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello -- My suggestiion to you is that just may-be you both
need time away from each other now. I know that's not what you really want to hear just right now. Give it time.I think right now
you should foucus on yourself getting well. When two people
are a couple that shouldn't be dumping their problems on their
friends. That's the quickiest way to loose friends. You should
be able to confide in one another. Thats a real relatonship.
After, you feel you are well enough and you still have the same feelings for her then I would start by buying her a dozen red
roses and taking her out to her favorite restaurant. Just be honest with her. So Good Luck!
2006-11-11 05:59:37 · answer #3 · answered by ARRIVE ALIVE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww i know how you feel im going through the same thing with my beau all i can tell you is to give her a lil bit of space she is probably feeling trapped so ease up your problems probably brought her down a lot and she doesnt really have any friends she only has you who is always sad. she is over her head in emotions she has responsiblities but wants to have fun at the same time and when your down she cant have fun with you so show her that you really are changing by taking her out to a party or some place fun and just enjoy being together she should see that you can change and that maybe she jumped the gun by dumping you love is tough i hope ya'll can work it out
2006-11-11 05:57:51 · answer #4 · answered by jinx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I hate to break this to you (because I have been there and I'm a lot older then you)
But YOU NEED to let her go. If she is the one that wants to go then YOU have to back off. Just because it's not what YOU want to do doesn't mean its not what she wants to do. Let her work and find herself because you BOTH need to become your own person.
You might not beleive this but you will get over her and you will go on in life.
Trust me (44 years of experience, hurts like hell and you are not the only person in the world to hurt)
2006-11-11 05:51:42 · answer #5 · answered by richy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop worrying about it and KNOW that everything's going to work out in the end. It will. Be sensible and find some kind of work that's consuming and try to make of your life something beautiful and either she'll be back or you'll find someone else.
2006-11-11 05:48:27 · answer #6 · answered by Babs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not be selfish. Let her go!
2006-11-11 05:46:00 · answer #7 · answered by brown_sugah064 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget her
go party and forget about her
2006-11-11 05:47:28 · answer #8 · answered by ! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋