How to deal with my nephew?

Question

my nephew is 5 years old and has recently started school the past couple of months his behaver has been very up and down and we are always unsure from day to day how he is going to behave, there have been a couple of serious incidents that have occured

1 - biting a child in school for a football
2 - stabbing a child in the neck with a pencil because he wanted the colour the other child had
3 - in a play area he pulled another childs glasses of and broke them in half

all these behaviours and worrying myself and my sister and we are struggling to deal with them we have not let him out, took his toys and computer games etc we have talked and shouted but it just seems as though he has a wee switch in him that he goes from being so good to so bad. I am in the child care professional myself but am still struggling to deal with this behaviour.

can anyone help?

Thank u 2 every1 that took the time to reply, my nephew sees his dad under supervision and my sisters boyfriend he also calls daddy although he enjoys going to see his dad under supervision and never says that he doesnt want 2 so i dont think this is an issue with him anymore...

Answer 1

What is life like at home for him? My nephew has a very similar problem... his parents have a rocky relationship, at best. When it seems things are okay, we never hear about incidents, but the moment SIL calls to cry about her emotionally abusive husband, we also hear about my nephew having issues at school with biting and other physically aggressive, angry behavior. He's 4.

Answer 2

It seems to me that he has aggression issues. Find the reason behind all of it. I think it is, not getting what he wants. At home does he get what he wants just by crying or screaming? I have a 5 year old brother, and he just cries and cries until we give it to him. He also gets violent, sometimes.
The incidents that you mentioned are pretty serious. By not letting him out, taking his toys and computer games, you have just given him another reason to think that the world is all against him. Ask him why he did what he did. And if all he says is "because he didn't give me the _______!" Ask him why he thought that he should have gotten what he had wanted.
You might find out why he responds like he does to the situation. But if you have already tried this [considering you're a child care professional], hold him by the shoulders and make him look you in the eye and in a cold, calm voice tell him firmly "No. That was wrong." And if you have already tried that, lay down some rules at home. Instead of taking his toys away, make him ask for them nicely, and sometimes don't give them to him. You also said something about computer games. Maybe he's picking up this behavior? Do the games show violence or something like it? What shows does he watch on TV? There are a lot of factors that go with a child and his/her aggression issues.

Answer 3

Your nephew seems to be having a hard time dealing with 'something' whether it's about his parent's situation or something else... Perhaps he's simply trying to keep 'control' of 'his' world

Have you (or your sister) tried staying for the class and (while not interacting with him) observed his behavior? Perhaps he feels left out or cheated out of something. Or another child is bullying him? Does this behavior only happen in class or while playing with other children outside of class?

This kind of behavior does not make him a 'bad child' maybe he just needs a little more one on one attention from the teacher or a teacher's helper.

I've worked as a shadow for a couple of "hard to handle" children - in some cases the above action was all that was needed, in other situations counseling and professional evaluation was needed.

Long as you're being pro-active in trying to resolve the problem you're on the right track!! Good luck!

Answer 4

I see some good answers, but have you spoken with the pediatrician? There could be a physical/mental reason he is behaving so violently, ADHD being one of many. This is not just a child acting out, this is extreme violence for a 5 year old, you need help, and so does he!
Please consult with a Dr. or psychologist, if he continues on this path he may be the next child we hear about on the local news. No child should be this willing to physically hurt another child, he's asking for help!

Answer 5

Maybe you need to take your little guy to a counselor for starts, make an appt. with his doctor, explain the situation and let him lead you in the right direction. This little guy sounds like he has some serious anger issues and he is so young, how can he manage them? Is there something 'new' in his life that he is having trouble understanding? Your on the right path asking for help, and while he is so young you have a great chance at finding the answers you need and the help he needs, better now then later when he becomes one of those 'school yard bullies' right? Good luck, and he's a lucky boy to have people around him that love and care so much.

Answer 6

He is evedentally got some problems with anger. I think it would help if you let your pediatrician know about these behaviors that are out of the norm and maybe she could refer you to a psychologist. I do know they bring in a Psychologist to the school if you talk to your Principal and let them know you need help getting down to the problem. They want to solve the behavior as much as you do at the school I am sure. Has he always been like this or has something happened to maybe cause this. Upset at home? Something happen at school? Does he have any medical problems that might be causing this? I can let you know that if you don't get this type of behavior under control now it will get worse and he will really become a danger not only to himself, but other around him. If he is already stabbing a kid in the neck with a pencil could you imagine if he got older and ever got his hands on a gun and was that angry. You need to step in and help and support your sister as much as you can with this. Encourage her to seek help now while he is still moldable.

Answer 7

He seems angry and lacks skills to cope with frustration and anger. Start by telling him it's ok to be angry but the things he is doing while angry are not ok then work on things like taking deep breaths, counting to 10, drawing an angry picture. Be sure to reward him when he is appropriate when angry. If you and your sister can't get through to him then look for a counselor. If insurance is an issue most communities have mental health centers that base fee's on income.

Answer 8

depart it he'll develop out of it i'm definite. and specially given that he acts average round u. he simply has a weigh down on u and cant support it. u will simply make him embaressed by way of speakme to him abt it or to his mother and father. as for the snap shots given that they're from loved ones features its good enough i suppose

Answer 9

You could shape his behavior easily. When he does something wrong, simply ignore him, it's more than likely he wants the attention. You should also offer him rewards weekly/monthly for being good.

Answer 10

Have you considered admitting him in a boarding school...that would definitely help.
He would get his punishments.. and would learn life the hard way there...