Spanking with a PVC pipe..So I have a question for all of you,?

Question

I defiantly know that this isn't right, nor do I approve of it. However, I am kind of between a rock and a hard place right now. My cousin who is a mother of three, decided three years ago when her daughter was two to start spanking with this pvc pipe, I don't think that it was so much her idea it was her husbands who is a total control freak, anyways, she constantly does this, when I am over there it just breaks my heart to watch her do this, and how the kids just scream and call out my name for me to come and "rescue" them so to speak.
My Mom and Dad Spanked us kids too, however these days you just don't do that, not with all of the laws, expecally with this PVC, I have told her I don't like it, in fact I pretty much stormed out one day d/t the fact that I hate the way they raise there kids. I am a mandated reporter, I just don't know if I should get involved being that I am her cousin, and we are very close. I just care so much for the kids....I could really use your opinions.

So say I went and reported them, and they totally denied the fact that they used anything like that? Than I look like the person who is lying, not only that, but then they know who reported them, and its going to start a whole family feud, I know that its worth it, but like she and her husband had told me, its none of my business the way they raise there kids. These girls are truly very good kids, whenever I watch the kids for a day, or take them to the park; they are nothing but good kids. SO when she says “do you want a spank,” I just cringe.

Answer 1

You really need to report it, if you keep this a secret and it gets back to DCF they can charge you for knowing it was going on and not reporting it.

What they are doing is child abuse and they can not only have their kids removed but they can also go to jail for a long time. You really need to sit down with your cousi nand tell her she is not only risking losing her kids but she is risking going to jail.

I have a aunt who works for DCF, if you report it they will not tell the family whom you reported that you were the one who reproted them , by law they can only tell if you request them to tell.

You really need to do something about this, I am sure that such a beating leaves marks and they will take the kids from the parents and seperate them and ask them individually if they get hit with anything and you can also try taking pictures of it happening or recording it.

By not reported it you midest well be abusing those children yourself, it makes you no better then they are knowing it is happening and not trying t odo anything to stop it.

I think your cousin and her husband are sorry excuse for human beings and have no buissness having kids, kids never deserved to be hit and how pathetic that an adult would hit a defensless child.

Answer 2

You are a mandated reporter, so you have no choice. Plus, being that you should be aware this is child abuse, you have no choice but to call CPS right away. Another thing you should do is tell your cousin if she spanks her children with that pvc pipe again, you will not ony call the police, but you will file for custody of those kids. I am not 100% against spanking, with your hand. A plastic pipe has got to hurt, and it probably won't leave bruises, which is why your cousins husband chose that method. Since you are so close, you have to tell your cousin that she is abusing her children, not disciplining them and DO NOT stand by and watch these be beaten.

Answer 3

Oh, gosh. I have never heard PVC pipe being used as a weapon, and yes that is what is happening. To spank a child, if that is the plan of action to be taken, it is always best to use your hand, you can measure and control better that way, an open hand. (If it stings your palm, it is TOO HARD)

I would think that PVC pipe would leave marks, hon, if she will not listen to you, you need to tell her that you will have no choice but to report her for the kids sake. What if she aims and misses and wacks one up-side the head and causes a brain bleed or something?

Answer 4

Here's the deal. If they are truly hurting the child, anything from welts to broken arm, let or whatever or if the child is being beaten about the head, then you need to report them IMMEDIATELY to the police. Doesn't matter how related you are to them. What they are doing is illegal if the child is being more than just scared. If you don't tell the police you will go to jail as well as being an accessory to something illegal. If the children are begging for help, how can you ignore them? If you're not sure if you're doing the right thing or not, then take another relative with you to their house (so 2 of you will verify what's happening), then call the police and let them determine whether to prosecute or not. Laws are laws.

Answer 5

Spanking with a bare hand is acceptable... a belt maybe. But a PVC pipe? Come on!!! That is abuse. What some people neglect to understand... a spanking is meant as a diciplanary tool, and when done right it hurts more mentally than physically (as in, makes the child feel bad for the "wrong" they did). In my opinion, if a spanking leaves a heavy mark and/or a bruise, a line has been crossed.
I think bad kids should be spanked... I think the sensitivity to that is corrupting our youth more than we'd care to realise. But, even I have limits of what I view acceptable.
If I were you, I would tell your cousin that if she insists on spanking her children with the pipe in front of you, you are obligated (yes, you are truly obligated) to report her for "potential child abuse". Also let her know that spanking with a pipe is an unnaceptable method of dicipline and if you hear of it again in the future, you will also report her. You value your relationship with your cousin... but I think it the kids who need your help more.
I hope you are able to "open her eyes".

Answer 6

I would speak to the kids alone if I could and tell them you are going to tell someone but that they have to say this is being done to them if asked. I certainly couldn't let her continue to do this. Anger can easily get out of control. Could you live with yourself if something worse happened and you never steped in. I know his is a hard decision to make but the children can not protect themselves. You will have to stay on the social workers they tend to look the other way. If the children are in school tell the children to tell the teacher. The teacher will have to report it and then you can back it up.

Answer 7

Though they may be family, this situation calls for tough love. Report her for doing what she does. No child should ever be treated that way. Spanking is acceptable, but using a PVC pipe is not. She could severly injure her kids if she already hasn't. Report her for the children's sake.

Answer 8

I too wonder if the kids are actually being hurt bad, or if they react to any spanking (by any means) in the same manner. My mom used to get me with a wooden cutting board. It stung pretty bad for a while, but I didn't have any broken bones and such. Maybe if your cousin had better parenting skills and the children actually behaved and did as they were told, they wouldn't need to spank them. I know that I cleaned up my act after a few times of spanking... so these for these kids being spanked is not enough for them to want to change their actions to prevent spankings.

Answer 9

if you care for her kids... report it! The parents need help, it sounds like they are stressed and taking it out on the kids. I was spanked with 2X4's when Iwas kid, I remember going through the house and trying to find and hide any 2x4 I could find. When I was older, and the bruises where noticable, the school did report my mother... the child services inspector turned out to be one of my moms friends.. so nothing changed! PLZ tell someone.

Answer 10

This is child abuse and you need to report this. It is illegal to spank your child with anything other than you hand. Think about the children in this case. It may be breaking your heart, just imagine what it is doing to these children. They need to be reported and someone needs to beat them with something. You can make a call to CPS and you do not have to give them your name.