My brother has always been our mother's favorite. He makes more money than I and can buy her anything she wants. She prefers to do things with him and they always say I love you to each other. They leave me out of their conversations. My mom has said I remind her of my dad, which she had divorced, so maybe that has something to do with it. I live with her, my brother doesn't. He doesn't see all the many things she gripes about all the time and I think her griping and complaining has put stress on my relationship with her. My brother comes over every day to visit (he lives next door). They go in her room and shut the door, leaving me completely out. I've asked her before why he's her favorite but she denies it. My brother always has to be hero. She recently went the hospital with cancer and had surgery. My brother had to take over the situation and acted like he's the only one that can help her or do things for her. The rejection is painful but I hate to break all ties with her.
2006-11-11 05:20:29 · 9 answers · asked by Gayle 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The sad part is you know the situation, and for your sanity sake, you have to start to think of yourself, start to do for yourself, go out and enjoy yourself, and if they say something, just say, I am always left out, with the two of you, and it hurts, so I am just going to give you two the space so you can be with each other. Now you need to start to think of yourself, Love you, the only one who needs to love you, is yourself, once you love yourself, then you can love others. and you would not care if any one loves you! Remember God loves you more! Start to do things to make you happy!
2006-11-11 05:33:54 · answer #1 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that she treats you that way. Your mom probably sees your brother as a super hero because she divorced your father. Don't get stressed about it, just except the fact that it's going to always be that way. There is nothing you can do to change it. You only have control over your own thoughts, feelings, and behavior. Don't let it tear you up inside, you have more important things to worry about in your life.
2006-11-11 13:35:33 · answer #2 · answered by miss m. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH DO I FEEL YOUR PAIN. same thing, different though, it is my older sister who walks on water. My take is that your brother is quite possibly not as attractive as you, or a popular or seems more needy, she may feel guilty too about the fact that he doesn't live with you guys so she over compensates. Sounds like she has had a rough time lately herself and maybe has confidence after the scarey bout with that cancer that you would be stronger and do better if something were to happen to her, in other words, she simply may have more faith in your ability to be able to take care of yourself than she does in him. Cut her just alittle slack right now and try to think of it that way, I think she probably thinks you are the stronger of the two of you (you and bro) and so she babies him more and needs to boost his ego by making him think he can handle things....hope this helps, you hang in there, she loves you.
2006-11-11 14:38:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that you should develop and love yourself. I know that it is very painful, I have a similar situation but mine involves my father and another sibling. Favorites among children is very wrong however it happens and is a very unfortunate thing. As adults we have a choice and a responsibility to ourselves to protect our emotions as well as our physical bodies. Without holding any grudges, distance yourself somewhat but be there when needed. As for your brother trying to get the spotlight. He may be doing this out of guilt because he doesn't do all the things for your Mom that you do. As you love yourself more you will attract other people and situations in your life that will bring you joy and peace. Then your family will see that you are special also.
2006-11-11 14:15:05 · answer #4 · answered by Daf 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. Been through that and then some. I got married moved and went on with my life. I would still go see my mother cause dispite all of that I still loved her. I believed she loved me too. Just differently then she did from the other 4. I'd say find something to put all of your energy into. She will notice the difference and ask you about it. That will be your time to tell her how you feel.
2006-11-11 13:45:59 · answer #5 · answered by kryptonnite2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mothers hurt their children more than they see with their own eyes. If i was you, I would ask her the question of why she doesn't love you as much as she loves her son. But, beware if she does give you the answer it may be more painful than you think. There are times when you just have to accept it and move on. There really is no point in trying to win a person who isn't willing to change them self. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-11-11 13:35:43 · answer #6 · answered by Iileen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not good to be out of the subject in a family feel you indeed, but be strong and dont think like that but be mighty positive because you already know your role which is good,Jesus Christ came But the people He Helped Denied him in the end but Jesus Christ never forgot them and forgave them,Peace always let Love Shine strongly,thank you for taking care of your mother and brother.
2006-11-11 14:09:51 · answer #7 · answered by Pacino 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have the same prablem mom even told me she never liked me. what i do is be nice to her when i can and i go out with friends a lot so that id ont hace to see them together.
2006-11-11 13:39:12 · answer #8 · answered by criss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her about it and tell her how hurt you are..if she denys it then tell her that you love her as much as your bro and shouldnt feel like the cinderella (alone and hated)
2006-11-11 13:32:59 · answer #9 · answered by dutchess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋