I have met some many guys online and it seems I can't get past date one. Most of the dates went well, mostly just simple coffee dates, and a few dinner dates, but it seems that they bring me home say they enjoyed meeting me an I never hear from them again. I am honest in my profile and look like my photos and try to be upbeat and ask them questions. The dates go ok but never get any further. These guys are in their 40's and 50's so they aren't kids. Does anyone else have this problem too? I have looked up most of the guys I have met and they still have their profiles on months later so I guess no one else was good enough for them either. It is me or is it them? I just get discouraged even meeting anyone because I know I am wasting my time and effort. If they aren't interested in finding someone why do they have any ad on?
2006-11-11 05:08:11 · 4 answers · asked by reallyfedup 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I put the mask on my avator to go with the turkey suit I am wearing. lol
2006-11-11 05:18:03 · update #1
I am 40 and do look for men within my age group and older. I do avoid the never married ones because I agree that if they have never been married at 50, there is something wrong there. these men all seem normal and have good jobs and most are divorced and have grown or older children. They just seem to never call back
2006-11-11 05:20:07 · update #2
You asked at the end of your post "If they aren't interested in finding someone, why do they have any ad on?" Well, I am sure that the reason is they are interested in finding the RIGHT one. When you are looking for somebody to presumably be your life partner, gee, you ain't shopping for a pair of shoes.
I am being constructive here, when I say it is almost certainly you. You mention the age of the guys you have been matching up with, but not your own age. I'm just assuming that you are, yourself, a little bit beyond the "first flush of youth" i.e. closer to their age. I can tell you men have a built-in radar for certain things, and a "siren" goes off in their heads around women who are coming across just a tad "desperate". Perhaps you should try not "pitching" yourself quite so intensely - or focussing even so much on the guy. Go out on a date, and, (as odd as this may sound) acting more as if you are out with a "girlfriend" where you just laugh and joke and talk lightheartedly about everything else under the sun BUT marriage, or romance, or "relationships"
Accentuate the positive, tell a few amusing anecdotes about something in your past life... talk about things that amuse you. - and perhaps a f ew things (not very serious) that "irritate you" a little bit... just keep the conversational pot simmering, and act all the while as if you really ARE enjoying yourself and you actually LIKE yourself. I have been kicking around this old ball of dirt for a while, and it's been my experience that nothing goes further towards getting other people to like you, than when you convey the strong impression that you kinda like YOURSELF pretty well. Not in any "cocky" sense, just in a relaxed and confident kind of way.
Not knowing any more about you than you have posted, of course, I can't say if I am "on target" or not with any of this. But for what it's worth, I've tossed it out at ya, and hope perhaps some of what I have said might prove helpful. I would only add one other thing... Personally, I am not too sold on the idea of EVER going shopping for somebody online. I've heard too many "horror stories", I wonder if there isn't a "singles support group" in your area... or maybe you belong to a church. I understand a lot of places have groups for divorcees seeking a new "connection". Just an idea. Anyway, best of luck.
2006-11-11 06:14:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you looking in your age group? Are these guys alot older than you? Sometimes there is a reason why these guys are single at their age! Especially if they weren't ever married. Did you honestly like any of them? This is pretty general...like you weren't enthused about these guys either. Generally, the other can tell when you're not really really interested, so they're not going to bother getting a second date. Then you might want to look at yourself...what do you talk about? Do you listen to them (men love to talk about themselves and for us to listen). Then again, you just might have not found the right guy yet.
2006-11-11 05:17:05 · answer #2 · answered by mich 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why dont you try looking for guys that arent on the computer you never know who is on the other end and they lie to get you interested then when you meet things arent what you expected. Be careful if you are an attractive and smart lady you can find a good man that you can see and get to know rather than worrying if he is some phsyco.
2006-11-11 05:14:36 · answer #3 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i get the feeling there is something you are not telling us i mean you do have a mask on your avatar
2006-11-11 05:14:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋