I asked him many, many times to clean up and not bring drugs into my house. He continued. So I got him a room to rent and dropped him off with his stuff. Now the guy hes renting from is getting upset about his odor I believe. I feel I have already given him too many chances and there is nothing else left that I can do. My sister is mad at me about it. I have 3 small kids and don't want him here again. What should I do? Was I wrong to make him leave? Should I feel bad and let him back in? I don't want to be a part of him anymore because he does not take care of himself.
2006-11-11 04:56:03 · 12 answers · asked by erinjl123456 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yes he was setting a bad example and you were kind to see to alternative accommodation.
If smoking pot works for him that can be Okay assuming he's not suffering from mental health issues, which he may be. If that is the case he needs access to medicated alternatives, assuming he's using the dope to self-medicate.
However some people really can't take care of themselves: they simply don't get it. And if they are intelligent they can be almost impossible to get though to because they keep trying to process emotional issues through their intellects and tend to ward off any assistance with intellectualisms, making the listener feel small causing further alienation. Just say something like 'If you put a fraction of the time you put into playing mind games into cleaning yourself you'd have women beating down the door to get at you'.
Your primary duty is to your children not their uncle. Although he is obviously also your brother, his relationship to you has essentially been eclipsed by your family situation.
But think of him. Visit him. Make sure he gets stuff for his flat. Bring him to the attention of a mental health care programme if you feel it is the right thing to do.
I'm sure he understand your situation - kindness is a great resource. If only we had a limitless supply of it. Even when were making choices we feel bad about we should still do it with kindness and tenderness (I'm such a hypocrite).
In terms of smelling as he does tell him no woman will go near him unless he has a proper domestic situation and that modern women judge a man by his capacity to take care of himself and keep a tidy flat. Sounds bad, linking sex and domestic order, but its true and he'll get it or else he won't be getting the other.
I pray Our Lady assists you in your difficulty...the little angels are the real wonder workers because it's the little stuff that wrecks our heads...so I pray a few are sent your way.
And remember to pray for him also. When we come up against the limits of our own capacities we must always remember that we have just arrived at the shore of the capacities of Jesus. Surrender your heartfelt concern to Jesus, but above al else 'Be kind and tender hearted' (Ephesians 4:32).
You're obviously a devoted Mother and concerned sister...but you have to capitalise the 'M' and lower case the 's' for your childrens sake. Nobody would fault you for choosing this emphasis.
2006-11-11 05:30:31 · answer #1 · answered by Pope Sixtus the Seventh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were very wise to get him out of your home, especially since you have children there. If he wouldn't respect your wishes after you were so kind as to let him stay there, then he doesn't deserve to be there. If he's doing the same thing with someone else, then I guess he just won't stop. If he gets kicked out of where he is at now, don't help him, let him figure it out on his own this time. Sometimes people just need to wake up to reality and see what they're doing to people around them by being affected by their own actions. It might be hard to watch him go through some tough times because you're family, but if you really want to help him then let him figure it out on his own.
2006-11-11 05:34:55 · answer #2 · answered by Kay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Orangina - While your brother may be smoking pot, it's fairest of all to get a valid first morning urine sample tested. The test will be positive for about one to two weeks after the last time someone uses marijuana. Maybe the gross smell is that like burning rope (hemp) which is very characteristic of marijuana. You might also ask his school counselor for suggestions.
2016-05-22 05:25:25 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes your brother dude, brothers always help each other out, either he has a problem or your overreacting the situation, dont kick him out until you help find a place to live at, walk in his shoes,
you like to do drugs and your own brother is booting you from the pad, wouldnt you like some help looking for a cheap apartment?
or keep him there make sure **** dont get out of control, like if people run to the house every 10 minutes, and he never leaves his room, i kno **** like that happend to people, you help him, hes your bro man... is pot all he does?
2006-11-12 02:08:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldn't had kicked him out and then leave him for good..'cuz the more you do that,the more he will dwell deeper into his vices..if you really wanted to help him,send him into a rehabilitation camp or something to get him clean..your brother needs you now more than ever -- don't let him down..help him again -- this is the least thing that you can do for him -- please don't let him down -- even he did that to you so many times -- just understand him more and deeply.
2006-11-11 05:09:20 · answer #5 · answered by kAyXeE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, do not let him back. You did well. Now the rest is up to him. He must suffer consequences of his anti-social beahvior or he will not ever change. be strong. use tuff luv
you do NOT want your kids to turn out like him. Keep him away.
2006-11-11 05:01:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did the right thing. this is your children's and your home. your brother needs to learn to stand on his own two feet. as far as your sister being mad, simply tell her if she is so concerned about him then let him stay in her home. don't feel bad, and let him back in. he needs to grow up and learn to take care of him self.
2006-11-11 15:39:05 · answer #7 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please Keep telling your brother that you love him so so Dearly and your house rules and go to a counsoler and keep on praying for one another,He will learn one day and break away from old habits like part of growing up,be well Peace
2006-11-11 05:55:33 · answer #8 · answered by Pacino 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep him as far away as possible right now. make sure you give him specific conditions if he wants to be a part of your life or your kids' lives again. you did good.
2006-11-11 05:08:28 · answer #9 · answered by bbydol221 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
anyone who doesnt respect your wishes in your home does not deserve to be there and anyone who smells bad really needs to be in a room by themselves because that is really rude and nasty
2006-11-11 05:15:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋