i have been married before and he hasn't.... we are usually 8 hrs apart b/c hes away at school.... we both talk about how much we know this is it... why not go ahead and get engaged now??
2006-11-11 04:35:04 · 28 answers · asked by hopelessly_in_love 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i have been married before and he hasn't.... we are usually 8 hrs apart b/c hes away at school (pharmacy school)....we see each other alot though.. either he is home on a break or comes in on the wk ends.. or i fly up there for a week like once a month... we both talk about how much we know this is it...we have knew each other for 3 years...and he says that he is marrying me in 2008 right after we both graduate!! why not go ahead and get engaged now?? i think it would help us feel closer, being 8 hrs apart.....
2006-11-11 05:40:14 · update #1
He is probably waiting for the perfect moment to surprise you. Don't ruin it for him. Just be patient with him. You have been through it before, but he wants to enjoy the entire experience.
2006-11-11 04:39:21 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling, the fact that you have been married before and it didn't last should be cause for you to proceed slowly and carefully. After all, your track record would make me pause longer than 4 months before EVEN considering getting remarried OR engaged. Stop being so desparate. You need to put the brakes on fast and the relationship on slow but steady. Since you have one mistake under your belt, shouldn't you make sure your man is all that you think he is? How could you possibly know when he is 8 hours away going to school? How childish are you to not have some sense in your head, that he should complete his schooling FIRST? The fact that he hasn't been married before and you have should be even more concern for him, especially since you seem bent on getting engaged and married. Whats the rush? Really? What is the rush? Is there ants in your pants or are you suffering from doubts this might not last long enough if he doesn't hurry up and propose? Take a moment and think before you leap. If this guy is it, he will be IT when he finishes school, he will be IT in two years and he will be IT in 20 years. You get where this is going? And if he isn't it in 20, he wasn't IT now. So slow down, look inward, make sure your issues from your previous marriage have been resolved and see if you can step it up a little on the maturity level enough to understand that haste makes waste isn't just a saying, its something to keep you from making hasty decisions that you may regret far longer. I think you may be lonely with him gone so far from you and think this will solve that problem for you. I garantee it will not. Please, think about this for your own sake, if not for your man's sake. Good luck!
2006-11-11 04:56:04 · answer #2 · answered by Tippy's Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no intention on being nasty with my response, I will be truthful and realistic. Getting engaged means that you are very soon to be actively making wedding plans and because you do not see a wedding in three to five years, this is not time to be engaged. Your overinflated opinion of how much you think you know about love and mature relationships is underwhelming. Because you watched you mom read self help books does not mean you have a great grasp on how relationships work. I am sorry to say that you are very young and it is not your fault, but you do not possess the wisdom or knowledge to be making adult decisions because you simply have no life experiences. You could not have learned any valuable lessons from the mere weeks you did not live at home. You are clearly in love. But you seem to think that an engagement will allow all of that love to burst out of you. That is a fairy tale thought. Go ahead and get a good full time job or go to college and work part time. You will need to save quite a bit of money for a security deposit on a place to live and you'lll have to buy a car or at least have hundreds set aside for repairs and save enough for the food, electric and telephone and heat/ac. Once you have about 5 thousand dollars saved you should be ready to leave your parents home. That is what a mature person would do. Good luck.
2016-05-22 05:22:31 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, Well love can certainly make you crazy! And you certainly must love him if you want him to propose now. The thing about marriage is that you're locked in to a long term commitment- you belong to each other and wouldn't that make your future certain to be full of happiness & joy? No not really - I've seen some marriages look like they were made in heaven end up like they went all to hell. Love is the glue that holds two people together - not a marriage contract...If you two guys are in true love then you already belong to each other married or not. But saying I do is the ultimate gesture of love wouldn't you say? Take your time and if he's the one then it will all come together when you're both ready to tie the knot. You can't rush a rose when it's trying to bloom....Love is the greatest thing in the world...hope he's the one!....wishing you the best...bye bye
2006-11-11 04:55:13 · answer #4 · answered by Danica Fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're already married and divorced, i'm suprised that you're not more aprehensive to get married. Maybe you should ask yourself why the last marriage didn't work out...was it because you only waited four months before doing so?
Don't be in such a rush..if you both talk about how "this is it", then why do you need such strong confermation? If you keep pushing for an engagement you might just scare him off.
2006-11-11 04:44:58 · answer #5 · answered by mscho760 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been married before, I'm surprised you are so naive. EVERY relationship is great in the first four months. Both of you are putting your best foot forward. You haven't seen each other at your worst. Give it at least a year before seriously considering marriage. Slow down, take your time to really get to know each other. If it is meant to be, there is no need to rush. You don't want to get divorced again, I'm sure.
2006-11-11 04:46:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because you are 8 hrs apart and its only been 4 mos (and he is worried because you already had one marrige that you gave up on and he doesnt want to be number two) give it some time and let nature do its thing long distance relationships almost never work so dont rush into anythging take your time (and maybe even play the feild a little)
2006-11-11 04:46:42 · answer #7 · answered by benjamin b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you nuts, if you've been married before then you obviosly know what its like to a get a divorce. Why go through that agian so soon. Give it some time, I'm not saying wait forever but give it some time. Figure out his full motives before jumping the gun.
2006-11-11 04:46:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If You are happy the way things are and He is happy the way things are ... screw the marriage, You're already married, leave it alone. Enjoy it for what it is. So many people try to rush this stupid marriage thing like it's some big benefit in life! it's really not. Enjoy Your life, enjoy Your time with those who are special and learn to let things take their course. As long as it works don't fix it.
2006-11-11 04:42:17 · answer #9 · answered by rpone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He lives 8 hours away. You have been dating for 4 months. How often can you really see him? It's one thing to have conversations on the phone, it's completely different to know that person face to face on a daily basis.
2006-11-11 04:39:55 · answer #10 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋