My 5 yo son likes to hit kids at the Kinder Garden and the teacher is complaining about it , i've have ...?

Question

i've have talk to him about it but he still do it in the classroom , how or what can i do to stop him doing it ?

Answer 1

modifying his behavior by scaring him of the consequences isn't enough. This only teaches him to try and not get caught, and lie when he does.

http://www.drspock.com/article/0,1510,9601,00.html

p.s. 90% of the advice you will recieve from other parents will be hogwash.

Answer 2

I would first check with his teachers to find out why he is hitting. Is he being bullied or is he the bully or hitting out of anger? If you believe he is being bullied give him some extra support. Empathize with him. Speak with his teacher about ways to support him. If you believe he is the aggressor, be on call with his school. Stay close by. As soon as your son hits another child, have the teacher call you and go and get him right away. Tell him "You cannot be at school if you are going to hurt others." Have a very boring day with him at home. If you can, keep him home an extra day to reinforce the message. Tell him "You can't go today. I'm afraid you might hit someone." If he likes going to school, he will soon learn to be gentler. I have done this many times in my classroom and it works!

He is feeling powerful when he hurts others. Help him to feel powerful by saying things like "You worked on that for a long time! Look how high you can climb! You can run super fast! You used so many colors on that picture! You did that by yourself!" These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy). These phrases are great confidence builders and will help him to feel powerful in a positive way.


I would also empathize with him after a hitting incident. "You must have felt very (angry, mad, hurt, frustrated) when you hit "John." What can you do next time instead?" Do some problem solving with him to give him some ideas. He will learn to express his feelings rather than hit. Hope this helps!

Answer 3

We have had this problem with our three year old grandson, in the various classes which he attends. He started hitting the other kids, and it was explained to him, that he should not do this. We then found that in some instances he was hit first, and he was hitting back. In a lot of cases, the first hit isn't seen by the teacher, the second hit is. He was told that he should first ask the other kid to stop, and that if the provocation continued, he was to try to speak with the teacher. Failing that he was told that he might hit back, to stop the other's behavior. Sometimes it is necessary to fight back, even if it is not politically correct. Another suggestion would be to tell him that if he acted out, by initiating the hitting, he would have to do something that would embarrass him, such as wearing his underwear outside of his pants for the day. If you do this, the thought of what his classmates would do, might act as a deterrent.

Answer 4

Talk to his teacher about afterschool punishment and that every time he mis-behaves he stays afterschool and sits quietly in his desk while the other kids get to go home and play..Make sure you dont wait by the door but maybe in the hall..He'll act up if he sees you. Also if he does the same thing at home, maybe play fighting with his dad..STOP that and talk to him that hitting is not okay..Christmas is coming too so you can threaten him with santa not coming unless he stops! I know this because my 5 year old nephew is probably worse :(

Answer 5

Unless you are there you really can not stop him from doing this. I suggest you have a meeting with his teachers and discuss what they think will work best at school to stop this type of behaviour. On a 5 yo discipline at home for something done wrong at school just does not connect.

Answer 6

Make a colorful chart of things he likes to do. Enlist his help in this. After all, it's his list. Once it's done, hang it up somewhere where he can see it but not get to it.

Sit down with him and explain that hitting his classmates is wrong, and it needs to stop. From now on, every time the teacher tells me you hit someone, you will lose one of these activites for one day. If you hit once, you lose one activity. If you hit three times, you lose three.

(Now, that's the negative reinforcement; here's the positive.)

If you go for a whole week without hitting, you can _________(fill in with a special treat such as dinner at his favorite pizza place or being allowed to stay up an extra hour).

It will take time, but if you follow this, I think his hitting days are numbered.

Answer 7

Remember to keep your cool when you speak to him about it. Is he acting out about something that is bothering him? Do you spend a lot of time one on one with him? It could be he is craving that special attention. Also, make sure that when you discipline him you don't spank or hit. That only enforces his behavior. Sometimes in the heat of the moment it may be hard but send him to his room for a couple of minutes and then have that talk about what he did. Usually if you take something special away for a short period of time no television for the rest of the night or no video games..ect. If you do that enough times consistently he will recognize the consequence before he acts up.

Answer 8

And what are these kids doing to him??? Seems to me, he may be defending himself to some point and the teacher is only seeing your child do the bad things. Did you speak to your son about WHY hes doing it?

Answer 9

Sometimes talking isnt the answer. Punishment is needed.

Good behavior starts at home.

Answer 10

sometimes the child needs more than just talking to really understand what youre trying to tell them. try giving him light punishments. not harsh ones, but enough to stop him from doing what he does. and when you talk to him, try not to sound soft cause then he'd think youre not serious. try looking harsh when you pretend to scold him.