We broke up about 5 days ago, because I felt like he was not working on his future goals. I motivated him in so many different way about getting a good job and going back to school. 2 years of the relationship he did not have a real job. He like to hustle for money. It was not drugs it was appliances, e.t.c. He helped me out when ever he could, he showed me support and everything. He was what a woman could want in a man, but he did not do much for himself. I truly love him, but our future was not going anywhere. It was the same routine. I do not know if I did the right thing or not. I miss him. And now all of a sudden he has a job and he going back to school.
2006-11-11 03:52:05 · 21 answers · asked by no way out 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think that you made a good decision. For 3 years he basically vegitated because he was comfortable--too comfortable.
You showed him that you were serious about wanting a real future, security, and equality--and that he was wasting his life.
Now he has straightened up, and is pursuing a real life, job, etc to show you that he can do it. He wants to keep you and is doing what he should have been doing all along. Good for both of you!
I know you miss him, but give it some time and definitely keep contact with him. Let him get into this new routine before you get back together...so he doesn't backslide.
You still love him, and it's obvious he loves you too. It's ok to let him know that, and tell him how proud you are of him. In time, you will be back together for good and you will both be happier and more satisfied with your relationship!
Take care of yourself, and I wish you the best of luck.
2006-11-11 04:05:54 · answer #1 · answered by draws_with_crayons 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, well, I am in a nearby boat. I cannot seem to motivate my boyfriend of over 3 years - it's tough, I know. We did break up for a couple months this summer because of other reasons though, and just like your ex, he started getting things on tract & we got back together. As far as my relationship, things are better than ever before, (even though he's still not getting on the ball with school) but I know that it is the exception. I can't tell you what to do because there are several issues involved in that long of a relationship, but wait a little while longer & see if he sticks to his new ways. Maybe this is his way to show you that he's ready to kick it into gear & grow up. But don't fall right back into it; habits take a while to form & he needs some time on his own to get his life figured out as well... maybe preparing for a life with you.
2006-11-11 04:02:53 · answer #2 · answered by ELLE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me he has lots of underling issues. The past is the past if he still can't move on with the new life and the great days af raising your child together ahead then it may be time to move on. It is very stressful to have a child it is hard in fact but it is harder if you two don't get along. You need to do the right thing for your baby and your own sanity. If he is there for the baby all the time great but maybe you should at least move to your own house or back home give him some time to chill and if he can't let it go and realize you are not that person that cheated on him rather you are a young mother ready to make the best life for your child then It is time to let go and accept him as your baby's father only and let the relationship rotate around that only. Good luck.
2016-05-22 05:18:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm...sounds to me like you did the right thing.
I know it's not easy to leave someone. But do you really want a husand that has to hustle appliances in order to buy your child food? Do you want that as a role model for your child?
I certainly wouldn't.
It sounds like he's trying to hustle you with the new job and the going back to school bit. Making the appearance of these changes is easy. Actually changing is hard. Don't go back to him. Wait and see if the changes stick. If the changes he made were for himself, they will. If they were just to get you back, he won't see them through.
In the mean time, be kind to youself. Indulge in a night out with the girls, a day of pampering, and a whole tub of your favorite ice-cream. Get more sleep, and try to make a life plan for yourself that makes you happy, regardless of weather there's a man involved or not. Pour your love into you for a while. You deserve it.
Good luck to you.
2006-11-11 04:05:29 · answer #4 · answered by Cady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe that is what he needed to get motivated. You should call him and tell him you are there if he needs you. That you didn't end it because you fell out of love for him rather that you wanted the best for him and if it meant that you had to let him go then that is what needed to be done. The old say is. If you love something set it free if it comes back it was meant to be. Good luck.
2006-11-11 04:17:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's trying to make something of himself now that your gone. Maybe he relied on you so much that he just let those feelings of admiration go to waste as he did the "same routine." Maybe he just needed a "kick in the butt" to get himself motivated. Or maybe he's trying to win you back by proving to himself he can get a job and have a gf.
2006-11-11 03:59:59 · answer #6 · answered by Lone Eagle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that you are so pleased for him that he is taking care of himself.
Tell him that the door is open, if he wants to talk.
Walk away for a while and miss him. It is a good thing. Do not start seeing other people right away. If this is temporary, you do not want to make any mistakes that you would regret later.
2006-11-11 04:03:34 · answer #7 · answered by anirbas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to him, but you may have been pushing him too hard, if he wanted these goals earlier for himself he would have done it. the fact that he is doing it now is good. some people just like to plod along in life some are high aimers, a lot of people are in the middle. you cant really push people to do what you want... go talk to him if you both think it is worth a go give it a try but stop pushing him.
2006-11-11 03:58:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he realized what he need to do to keep you was get that job and go back to school, or maybe you were weighing him down that he had to get money asap to make sure you were takin care of and now that your not taking up his time he has this time to do it all now and have a life, maybe you should call him and congrats him on expanding his life the way you knew he could and that your happy he is living his life to the fullest as well.
2006-11-11 03:57:06 · answer #9 · answered by Sassy H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could be doing that for him or for you. But he might have an idea that now you want him since he is working and going back to school but that he wasn't good enough for you before. He could turn you away and then you would be hurt. I think that I would wait and see if he reappears and wants to rekindle things and if not then just press on
2006-11-11 04:00:52 · answer #10 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋