Life Crises, Please it a cry for HELP.?

Question

Am i OK?, PLEASE HELP!?
im 18 years old and a senior in highschool. all of my life i havent been mr popular, and ive always had very very few friends. ive never had a girlfriend and im an only child. i live with my alcoholic father and mother whos sick of the liver. 2 yrs ago i got put in juvenile jail and was there for 2 week, i learned my lesson. following my release i was then homeschooled in this place called faith academy. i was isolated from the world like this for 1 year. i returned last semester to school, but im still struggling in my quest to be happy and to be sociable. i was put on meds for about 2 years with no results cause i was snorting ice and smokin weed. now that im sober i think i might have to be put on meds for me to be sociable and to FINALLY break out of my shell. epspecially when it comes to talking/approaching girls. COULD U GUYS GVE ME SOME HONEST FEEDBACK PLEASE!!!!!!!!!WHAT SHOULD I DO?!

Answer 1

Hello, First of all I'm not a guy I'm an old lady, of 47.

Have you tried counciling?

I can hear the crises in your words. I think the first thing you need to do is try and chill out. Take a deep breath and tell yourself
"I'm okay." Look in the mirror and repeat this to yourself until you believe it.

You ARE okay. Your emotions are just in turmoil. You are getting signals from your body and mind that are coming in faster than you can assimulate the information.

Find a place where you feel safe or at the least someplace quiet.
Absorb yourself into some activity that gives you peace.

Once you can do this, even for a moment, you can start thinking more clearly over what you want and what your first step should be to acheive success.

You have already come along way by knowing what does not work for you. Congratulations!

Now, with some quiet time, can you see inside yourself and know what does work for you?

Before you jump into getting involved with a girl be sure you are not using this as a shelter. Relationships are fragile and this shelter could crumble.

If school is intimidating try an outside organization, the YMCA, the boys club, a church group.

I suffer from social anxiety myself and so do millions of others.
You are not alone in your feelings of isolation.

Talk to your school nurse about your anxiety. She should be able to point you in the right direction for help.

Finally what is it about your shell that bothers you? Is there anyway you could find peace in your shell? There are many loners who are not lonely.

Is your urgent need to be a part of the social scene stemming from your anxiety, or do you just need to like yourself so you can enjoy yourself while you are alone?

You have had a tremendous amount of turmoil in your life. It is not easy to "grow up" with out the emotional support of a family.

The turmoil you have experienced and the emotional upheaval you feel set you apart from your peers who might have otherwise had a more stable background.

If your home environment is not nurturing you, you must consider another option. Hang in there. Put your needs first, be good to yourself.

Best of luck.

Answer 2

LDshayne:
Your story reads like you've been thru hell and back, again. My heart goes out to you. May I suggest something that may be difficult for you to understand at first? Please, just indulge me a moment and read what I'm about to offer. Forget about the girls and the social scene for now. Just set them aside. Make a list of the 5 (or more) most important things to you; those things that mean life and death to you, things like health, education, financial stability. Stuff like that. Put them on a list, on a piece of paper and when you have the list completed, prioritize the list in order of importance. (I know this seems like a lot of work but the investment of time at your age is worth more than all the gold in Fort Knox.) When you have the list prioritized, take item number 1 and identify it. Write a few sentences about it that prove to yourself that you understand what it is. For example, education. If that were no. 1 on your list, what does it mean to you? I'm sure you know that education can open a lot of doors on your path of life. Now, when you have done that, make a plan of how you can accomplish achieving education in your life. It might take you two years or it might take 12 years, but make the plan. The idea of all this is, LDshayne, that when you can get your own life together and feel confident about yourself, THEN you may be able to approach a young lady and she will feel as confident about you as you do about yourself. Capish? Just a suggestion. If you need help with this exercize, contact me. I've been where you are, now.
Most sincerely,

zeke

Answer 3

Dude , find an activity- something you want to do tghat includes other people or something that exposes you to other people, Magic tricks, dog walking at the park, counter work at fast food place or store . This will let you work on your conversation skills without it being the focus of what you are doing and will allow you to relax a little more. Remember most of the most popular people don't really have true friends and are always paranoid and in fear of other peoples opinions. You do not want to be like that. Do you play an instrument, play it in the park, It may be easier if people approach you. Make yourself approachable by other peole. How ?? As you walk down the hall , make eye contact and smile, nod or just say hi when you pass people. That gets them comfortable with you and makes you more approachable. Ask for homework help from someone. Look for people in need , their car needs a jump , they dropped something , help people out , that makes feinds. Good Luck

Answer 4

That was then, this is now.

Just remember, you managed to come through all that adversity and have developed strength of character.

Now, you have taken positive steps and decided to change your life.

Friends are easy to make. Smile at a girl and say "Hi" and she will be talking with you in no time flat.

Join some after- school clubs that are of interest to you. get involved in sports or an exercise program- it's a great way to meet people.

It isn't easy to change your life for the better but you're already half way there- people will want to stand and cheer for a guy like you who is taking positive steps to overcome your adversity.

Good luck!

Answer 5

dude...commit to stop the drugs...they get you only 3 things- jails, institutions, or death

if your doctor prescribes meds...take them!
join a support group for teens in your situation...you will find people who can relate to you and be supportive of you! ask your doctor where to find one
and find God...He will provide the strength you need