I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now, and I feel like his sucking out my energy lately. We keep on breaking up all the time I am so sick of this I need more from my relationship , his head is someplace else alot with his so called friend that's dragging him down and his prevoius relationship where they hate my guts just because I exist and because they want him back he has a son his a little boy . We keep on breaking up and can't do it . I know I need something with more security than this I can't take this anymore what you think how can I deal with this in a proactive way!
2006-11-11 02:04:43 · 16 answers · asked by Tellie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No understandee
2006-11-11 02:08:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You should tell him that. Tell him that you can't keep doing this anymore. Then don't take his calls, don't see him if he tries to come over, and so on. The problem isn't breaking up, you've been able to do that. The problem is that you keep getting back with him. Now, how do you stop that from happening? Avoid all contact with him at all, then try something new! Keep yourself occupied with taking a night class, joining a gym, something new that keeps you moving and not thinking about him! You may also meet someone new and great in the meantime. Just think, all the time you're wasting on this guy who you know isn't the one, is time you aren't meeting the guy who may be your one! Good Luck!
2006-11-11 10:12:50 · answer #2 · answered by Astro 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is try to have a conversation with him and let him know what your needs are and find out what he is wanting out of the relationship, and go from there. You will see after the convo if it is worth sticking with him for or not because you will get a better understanding of what is more important to him. Tell him the next break up is for good, and stick to it. If he won't even take the time to conversate with you about it, then it isn't important enough to him to even talk about. You have to know and respect each other's needs in a relationship, or it will not work.
2006-11-11 10:12:03 · answer #3 · answered by JJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps it is simply time to face the fact that you can't get your needs met by this guy. Now, I know this is not what you want to hear but you have to consider the possibility that this relationship has run its course.
Prior to meeting my husband, I was in a 4 year relationship with a man who could not commit. Although we loved each other dearly, we had different ideas about what we wanted out of life.
One day I said to myself exactly what you did, "I need more from this relationship." It suddenly hit me that he wasn't capable of giving me what I needed and the relationship had simply run its course. So, I broke it off. I was 35 years old at the time.
I am not going to tell you that it wasn't painful because it hurt like hell, especially since he never looked back. One year later I met the most wonderful man (by chance) and we have been happily married for 8 years.
You have to value yourself and realize that you deserve better than settling for crumbs.
Good luck!
2006-11-11 10:17:00 · answer #4 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to sit down with him and be very upfront about your relationship..ask him where is it going or if its going nowhere...It seems his friends are a major part of his life...let him know what you will or wont accept in your relationship..and if that don't work..its time for you to move on and stop wasting your time and energy on someone whom wont give you the respect and love you deserve...I'm sure there are a lot of guys out there just waiting for you...just look over your shoulders...you could be missing out on a lot....by the looks of things you need more love and security..and your not getting it here..girl!!
Good luck and keep your head up high.
2006-11-11 10:17:07 · answer #5 · answered by mexi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, "Deja vous"!!! Except my ex doesnt have a child. He was the insecure type, had allot of friends, but, I wasnt allowed to have mine, type of thing, always arguing, I was always feeling like crap..... Sooooo, after 2-1/2 yrs, I told him that "this isnt working".... Neither one of us were happy, and the best thing to do is break it off, at least for a while to see where we stand with each other...... That was 3 months ago, and now, we are just friends, I dont regret that move at all...
Sounds to me like its time girl!! Get out of that mess, that once was a relationship, you will be better for it.. If, once you find later, that it was the wrong move, then at least you will know how to fix it, so it can work......
Good luck
2006-11-11 10:19:14 · answer #6 · answered by ~*LILY*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read your question to yourself out loud. You know what you have to do. Make a clean break and Move on! This relationship started out wrong and it's still wrong. Somebody has to be strong and break it off. Looks like you get to be the strong one. It will still hurt and you will still have a sense of loss.
2006-11-11 10:15:15 · answer #7 · answered by RockwallCat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can imagine how u feel.It's really pathetic.
The best way 2 sort out this problem is 2 hav a direct conversation with him.Doesn't matter if u break up,but at least all the doubts will be cleared.The rest is ur luck dear!
2006-11-11 10:13:00 · answer #8 · answered by aditi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You knew he had baggage before you got together. His son takes precedence over all. If you cant deal with that, then maybe it is a good idea for you to move on.
2006-11-11 10:11:55 · answer #9 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well really i think you have answered your own question "i can't take this anymore" get out don't let them drag you down!
2006-11-11 10:10:40 · answer #10 · answered by missy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you don't think he's right for you. End it yourself, go to a bar, get drunk, remember the good times and lay them to rest.
2006-11-11 10:41:14 · answer #11 · answered by Sarab s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋