My dad is having an affair?

Question

I just discovered print-outs of dirty IM convosations talking about having sex and meeting up. My Dad goes away alot and I think he has been meeting up with people.

Answer 1

Tell your mom about your dad.

Answer 2

I can relate to how you are feeling. Recently, me and my siblings had a doubt that our father has been having an affair with someone at work. We found some text messages in his phone almost proving our doubt. We decided that its best not to tell our mom since its would utterly devastate her and she does not deserve to go through that pain. We haven't yet, but we plan to confront our dad soon (after getting some legit proof).
My advice to you however, is that if you have a gut feeling about this (like me and my siblings did)...then it is more likely to be true then not. The hard part is accepting it and figuring out what to do next.

Answer 3

I'm sure this is something you wish you didn't see. This is a sticky position for you. If you tell your mom, she could be hurt and if you tell your dad he'll be embarrassed and may deny it. You don't want to pick between your mom and your dad. This is also a heavy secret to carry around, it also a secret not fair to you. You need to realize, this is not about you, YOU did nothing wrong!! If I were you, I would do one of two things. 1- Tell my dad, maybe in a letter. Tell him what you saw and that it really hurt you and also tell him you don't want to hold this secret in, yet at the same time you don't want to get in between your parents marriage. Also tell him, you are giving him the respect (as your father) of telling him first. Then tell him he has 1 day (or week or whatever, but put a time limit on it) to tell your mother. After the time limit you have given him, then go tell your mother. She may already know or if she doesn't know- she will then. This way your conscience is clear, you don't have to carry this secret and you told both parents (meaning you aren't picking between them). don't let your dad talk you out of telling your mom.... even if he tells you she already knows... if he says that, then ask her yourself. or 2- Tell your mother. I'm sure she'd rather hear it from you than not know at all. Think of how you would feel in her position.

Answer 4

Was your father like this from before or is this recently? Do you keep your eyes perfectly on him? If he was not like this then I think he is having some sort of serious problem. May be those print-outs were for something else. Listen if you are confused, discuss everything with him, then u can easily sort out. Don't tell anything to your mom until you are sure and don't panic. Just look after everything very carefully. Don't worry, everything is going to be okay. Best of luck! Naf :-)

Answer 5

You seem to be rather prudish. You have not stated whether your mother is living. If she is not then what your father is doing(as you believe)is perfectly understandable. Perhaps you may soon move out and he would be left alone. With your best wishes you would not be able to give him much company. So don't feel as if your father has committed a sacrilege. The way he is behaving shows that he does not want to harm your sensibilities and is therefore, keeping it away from you. Guard his open secret .Do not commit any indiscretion that may sadden him.

Answer 6

'oh dear',,,,you are in a position aren't you! you should not know this as it puts you in an awful position,,it will weigh on you mind if you say nothing so i would suggest telling your father what you have found,,he has to say something and he will more than likely say it was a joke,,that he hasn't actually met someone,,forget about it son,,he may lie and even say he doesn't know who,s these printouts are BUT,you cant get involved really,this news shouldn't be something to have on your shoulders,you are their child and shouldn't know this could happen,,,knowing you know may be enough for him to realize what he could lose if it all comes out but dint get involved in keeping secrets and if deep down you still feel he could be meeting other women it may be best to tell another trusted family member and put the onus on an adult to talk to him or your mum..you dont need this so close to home.

Answer 7

I'm sorry to tell you this, but I think you might be right. Your mom will probably be hurt, but you should show her what you've found. If it's possible, you should maybe show another relative first, like a grandparent or an aunt or uncle, so you'll have some support. Good luck and I hope things turn out ok for you.

Answer 8

Hi i feel really sorry for you because it puts you in a really bad position, have you confronted your dad? I found out my dad was having an affair some years back now, i asked my aunt for advice on wot to do and it turned out everyone knew accept for mom, they all wanted me to tell my mom but i wouldnt i did not want to be be the one to cause her to do somthing silly to herself and i no she would have. to this day my still dont know, I did confront my dad who denied at first, but i had the womans phone number which i got off his phone, so had to admit it, I also got hold of the woman and gave her what for, mom and dad moved to a different city so i felt it best to leave well alone. but you must do what you think is right for your family, he may not even met anyone just spoke on the internet, thats why i think i would confront him.
Good Luck

Answer 9

Have a word with your dad before you do anything rash. Your mother may already be aware of what is going on. My advice would be to think very carefully about what you do all hell could break lose if you just blurt it out, But I would definitely let my dad know that I knew. It is a hard one for you to deal with. Good luck.

Answer 10

Give him the print-outs and tell him you have read them and that you are disappointed in him that he could risk losing his family.Its a tough one as we all want our parents to have the perfect happy relationship but in real life its not like that the same **** happens at home that happens at everyone elses to.Don't tell your mum she will be so hurt although this is a burden for you to carry,when he is made aware that you know I'm sure that he will change his behaviour and i hope that you can both put this experience behind you.

Answer 11

Before you say anything to anyone tackle your dad. Say you have it on good authority (thereby implying that someone else knows and you haven't been spying) that he has been seeing another woman. Ask him if its true and say he should tell to your mum and await the consequences and if he says its not true you will have to give him the benefit of the doubt. Either way, if its true, he will feel guilty and ashamed that you know and stop it or he will continue in his adulterous ways and not give a damn about you or your mother. Do not tell your mother, she may already know and be devastated that you now know too.