what is this persons problem, or is it just me,?

Question

ill be geting married very soon, and my sonnn to be sister -in-law treats me like shi---,, and i really dont know why , she never even took the time to meet me yet, she will call and take about me like im a dog ,, says im ugly and fat and old ,, says most anything to hurt us, and that her brother will be making a big mistake if he married me, that he can do a lot better, and this really hurts us , ive never said or done 1 thing to her , all i ever tried to do is be her friend , im good to my soon to be husbsnd and his little girl, my sister -in law doesnt come over at all, just calles to up set every one and then hangs up.says im a fu --ing joke , and that im not much of a step up from what her brother had before, wow,, what a peace of work,all we both want is to be happy ,, and she cant believe that her brother is going to marry me, i wish i knew how to put my picture on her , but i dont, does any one know what i can do about this problem,

Answer 1

Be classy, gracious and way above her level. Don't let her provoke you or interfere with your happiness. Don't talk to her on the phone anymore and avoid talking to her in person as much as possible. When she calls, tell her, sorry, I'm busy, can't talk now, and hang up. If she tries to corner you, don't argue with her -- arguing will only give her the reaction she wants. Just smile, shake your head and say "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way," then turn and walk away. Act like it doesn't bother you at all. After awhile, it won't.

Answer 2

Well, I know they say that blood is thicker than water, but this really is unacceptable behaviour and your husband to be, her brother, should be sticking up for you on this one! He must know what she's like and I'm sure the rest of the family can see it too! Find out from him why she's like this! Was she like it from a child or is it just since adulthood! If you don't do something about this, it will only get worse! Before the wedding I suggest that you catch her off guard by paying her a visit and confronting her in a controlled way and asking her for an explanation. Have you done something specific to offend her? Why has she got it in for you? The problems lie within her tortured soul and she's obviously got some emotional issues to address!! It's not your problem, and if she hasn't even taken the time to meet you, then why should it be a problem avoiding her in the future if she doesn't respond in a positive way to your questions?!

Answer 3

My guess is she's jealous and that it is really nothing to do with you. The jealousy probably goes way backto your man's childhood. It will either be that she is over fond of him and feels left out when he pairs up, or she feels that he always gets everything better than her and can't bear to see him happy and successfyl.
she probably doesn't recognise this in herself and would laugh if you suggeted it
I would try taking absolutely no notice of the cruel things she says and pick up on anything pleasant, however small. If this is indeed a long term relationship you have with her brother then you are facing a long term relationship with her too. You will have a long time to gently win her round. Don't give her fuel for her silliness by being nasty or she will feel justified.
How does your man get on with her? Is he uoset by her behaviour? Talk it over with him and get his support
Good luck!

Answer 4

I dont honestly think there is anything you can do. Dont retaliate, and try to ignore her.

You can pick your friends, but you cant pick your family as the saying goes, I have a mother in law like this, Im just not good enough for her son, I think cos im older than him, she just hates me, i cant change it, luckily my hubby is fab and will take my side over his mothers every time, but a the end of the day, if she doesnt like you for whatever reason, theres nothing youcan do about it. Stop answering the phone and wait for the answerphone to kick in, screen your calls so if she rings, you can chose to ignre her.

Better still, get her number blocked from your phone!

Answer 5

She is probably worried about her brother, but lets it out in a very bad way. Just keep trying to be civil to her. This is something your fiance needs to handle. It should come from him. He needs to sit down and tell his sister that if she cant respect the both of you, then she needs to not call or come around. But if he isnt willing to do that, then you should prepare yourself for after you marry this guy. You'll either be constantly defending yourself, or just letting it roll off your back. Hopefully once his sister gets to know you she'll be better.

Answer 6

Your soon to be sister in law, seems to be jealous of the relationship you and your fiance have. Is she close to your fiance? Some times siblings get jealous when their bro/sis, stop being there close friend, because they found someone to love intimately. Or she could be jealous of what you have with this man, her brother. How is her life going? There are alot of reasons why she could be acting this way. Don't let it affect your life, and don't sink to her level. If you continue to act in a rational manner, in time she will see your good side. And it could humble her. But if you resort to her level, she will just be proven right. Your fiance has a harder time, because this is his sister. And he has to still talk to her. But he should never allow her to speak ill of you. That is unloving if he allows that. Even if one is a relation to another, the marital bond is a stronger one. You both need to sit down and talk about what you are going to do concerning your future sister in law. Listen to your fiance, but also let him truly know it hurts you alot. It is not to stop him from seeing her, but you must just avoid her for now. Keeping your distance will only make peace reign. But adding wood to the fire, will only make your future marriage an unhappy one. Yes, it is your wedding and they should be happy for you, but some just have to get married with out certain relatives around. It is up to you to invite her, but if you do, she needs to respect your day. Set boundaries for her. If she had common sense, she will behave. I hope it works out for you.

Answer 7

Yes tell her once and for all to mind her own f*cking business and that you will not tolerate her speaking/treating you like this and if she calls and is rude you will hang up on her or kick her out. And leave it at that she sounds a right b*tch and a bully and she will not change. Just make sure your hubby to be sticks up for you - he has to stand by you on this otherwise she will win. He needs to tell her to leave you alone or he doesn't want anything to do with her. I certainly would insist she does not come to the wedding if her behaviour continues as I would not have her ruining your special day. Good luck!

Answer 8

Ignore her. She is not the person you are marrying anyway...and make sure you don't live with her. She might just be "jealous" . Be still civil to her and show her that her bad breeding will not pull you into the quagmire of rudeness that she created around her. Don't retaliate or do likewise because then , you would be worst. People can only affect you up to the extent that you allow them to.

Answer 9

Unfortunatly This sounds like shes Heard a rumour or something like that the advice above sounds good But in a marraige youcant choose your relations the same way you cant choose your family. Ask yourself is it That important that you get on? I personally have nothing to do with 90% of my family.

Answer 10

The most intelligent thing to do is to completely ignore her. She is jealous and will stop at nothing to make you miserable.
Once she realizes that her spitefull ways don't affect you anymore, she'll be looking for a new game plan, and maybe at that time you will be able to build a friendship with her.