Help, why do my emotions swing so drastically?

Question

somedays I feel like I can achieve whatever I set my mind to, other days I just want to cry. I need to make new friends, be more sociable, be the happy go lucky person I was, have fun, laugh, but sometimes I just want to isolate myself. I try to take a step out, then take two back. I don't want to burden any new friends with 'me' I have a lot of baggage at the moment and know I need to sort it, no one needs a needy friend, I know that. Yet, I need them to help me stop feeling this way. How can i break this circle, how can I move forward? sorry to go on, anyone who's 'been there' with this kind of thing, your comments would be appreciated.

Answer 1

I feel exactly the same. I was involved in a very bad car crash last year where the other person died (he came into my lane head on and crashed into me!). Since last September my self confidence has taken a nose-dive. I have always been a real socialite, extremely extrovert and always eager to go out and have fun. If I was at home I was bored and worrying I was missing out on something. Now I have become the opposite, choosing to stay in over going out and socialising. Like you, I'm not always like it, I do sometimes feel much more positive than others. I do make the effort not to seem like a bore but I find it much harder to relax when I am out. I did have counselling for a while after the accident and am on anti-depressants (Citalopram 20mg) and these help me to keep my head up. I completely know how you're feeling. I find that the more I stay in and isolate myself the harder it becomes to get out of the rut. But I know it's really important to escape it because it's no good for your state of mind and self esteem. Try going out with friends on a one to one basis to start with and then work up from there. How about having a bit of a shopping spree, buy some nice new clothes and make-up (I don't know why I'm assuming you're female, just taking a guess!!) and have something different done to your hair. Having compliments from other people can help a lot. Also, why not take up an evening class or activity where you can meet new people, learn something new, thus broadening your horizons, getting out of the house and improving your self-worth. Get in touch with old friends and you'll feel good about yourself. Your close friends and family should be willing to listen to your woes and still love you just as much. Would you do the same for them? Have you thought about counselling or asking your GP to put you on anti-depressants?

Answer 2

I've certainly been there. I can understand how you wouldn't want to burden any new friends with your problems and be perceived as needy... and initially this is probably prudent until you get to know them better. Most importantly, don't isolate yourself... keep establishing those new friendships and try to nurture them until the *new* friends become *real* friends. Real friends won't look upon you as needy, or view helping you as a burden, but as an essential aspect of your friendship. In turn, you might find them turning to you occasionally for help or solace, because everyone seeks out real friends for the same reason. You might also want to talk to a doctor about your feelings of sadness and mood fluctuations. It might be you're suffering from depression or might benefit from talking to a therapist or counselor. Anyway, good luck.

Answer 3

Try keeping a diary for a month about how you feel. It doesn't have to be pages every day - just a quick note on whether you feel happy, vulnerable, determined, angry agitated etc along with what you think might have caused you to feel like that on that day.

You might be able to see some patterns emerging and they could be linked to hormones. I know that for a few days every month every little thing irritates the hell out of me and I get reallly angry about stuff that wouldn't normally bother me. Now that I know that, I can just kind of take a step back, distance myself and think, oh okay it's this again, and know that it will pass.

You might also want to try reading a book called The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle which has got some interesting concepts in it about not letting your mind control you, and how you can take a step outside yourself to get some perspective on how youre feeling and dealing with things.

Above all though be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time.

Hope you feel better soon.

:-)

Answer 4

It is a natural occurrence. Nobody can feel "great" everyday without making an effort. You can combat this by trying to maintain that positive attitude, EVERYDAY..You have to psyche yourself . I know it is not easy but, with constant practice you can. Keep trying, act happy (smile, laugh, sing) even if you are not and soon you will feel happy. That is the law of cybernetics. Do something productive that will take your mind away from being depressed. YOu don't have to go out to do this. You can be alone but not lonely. Read a book, write down a diary.

Answer 5

I was exactly the same a couple of years ago. One minute I'd be jumping around madly, the next I'd be crying and realise I was sitting in a dark room. I went to the doctors who told me I was depressed and put me on prozac. It worked so well, I was only on the tablets for a few months but what a difference. It just gives you that kick to stop feeling so sorry for yourself and just get on with things. Everything got sorted, I learnt to drive so I'd have more freedom, I got rid of the people in my life who werent doing me any favours, and I feel so great now. It'll be worth a trip to the docs I promise.

Answer 6

You are obviously suffering from mood-swings and may need a course of medication (nothing too strong) to even out your moods.
You must see your GP who will refer you to a psychologist with whom you can discuss your problem. You are right that a friend cannot really hear these mental problems...you need some gentle, kind, professional help.
Please get some, it will make you feel so much better.

Answer 7

I have that severe form of PMS that 10% of women get. That will cause you some serious mood swings! You can chart yourself, get a calendar book and write down your mood every day along with any food cravings you might get. After several months of doing this my pattern was very evident. I crave sugar and dairy going into that time, it's a tip off for me.

Answer 8

not Bipolar..... the conventional Bipolar adjustments temper in basic terms a pair of times a twelve months..... human beings confuse temper with emotion..... temper encompasses power point, sexual urge for nutrition, emotional reaction (which thoughts you experience and how strongly), sleep varieties, urge for nutrition, cognitive potential, sociability, creativity, or perhaps actual wellbeing. In a common guy or woman those issues are rather good yet once you're Bipolar you swing from one end of the spectrum to the different. the conventional guy or woman with Bipolar affliction in basic terms swings a pair of times a twelve months. you're having thoughts....... not temper adjustments.

Answer 9

Yes - I agree with the thought / mood diary idea so you have evidence that you are ok most of the time - and that PMS might be a big contributory factor. The diary might help there too - if you chart your emotions.... but only if you want to!

Answer 10

I dont think there is anything wrong with being introspective. I too operate the same way. Dont you feel as though you have a stronger resolve when you have isolated yourself from outside distractions.Hell, toaism is all about it