I am having a bad day can anyone cheer me up with some jokes or good websites i could checkout?

Answer 1

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through
no fault of his own was cast under a spell by an
evil witch.
The curse was that the Prince could speak only
one word each year. However, he could save up
the words so that if he did not speak for a whole
year, then the following year he was allowed to
speak two words. (This was before the time of
letter writing or sign language.)
One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips,
golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love.
With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain
from speaking for two whole years so that he could
look at her and say "my darling".
But at the end of the two years he wished to tell
her that he loved her.
Because of this he waited three more years
without speaking
(bringing the total number of silent years to 5).
But at the end of these five years he realized that
he had to ask her to marry him.
So he waited ANOTHER four years without
speaking.

Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy
knew no bounds.

Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded
and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden
the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap,
knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said
huskily,
"My darling,I love you! Will you marry me?"
And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair
behind a dainty ear,
opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting
her ruby lips, said:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
scroll down.............

3 hours ago
Well, guess what she said ..........

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.......come on, guess what could she have

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

said..............

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

...........well, she said..............

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Pardon??''

=============================

::There goes another 9 Yearx...::

Answer 2

Pam bypass to the clothing shop and beloved a skirt and a panty. She's no longer more than chuffed with the way the expenses are printed on both products. She stated to the saleswoman: "look how come the skirt is priced low and life like notwithstanding the panties are way too extreme priced." The saleswoman stated: "enable me seek for suggestion from from Mike the owner of the shop to work out if he can do some thing for you with the expenses to make you chuffed" The saleswoman comes back with an answer to Pam from Mike. She informed the female: Mike informed me to inform you that he's not any longer making too a lot income yet that he will be able to convey your skirt slightly up and then drop you the panties all a thanks to the bottom...!

Answer 3

Check out this link, http://positivesharing.com/2006/10/how-to-turn-around-a-bad-day. Go to the bottom of the page and watch the video. You'll like, cheer up!

Answer 4

Cheer up.....it could be worse!
Hope your day gets better.


There was this duck that walked into a bar and sat down in a stool and the bartender said, "Can I help you?"

The duck said, "quack, quack, quack, got any raisins?"

The bartender said, "NO! This is a bar and we don't sell raisins."

The duck walked out and then he came in the next day and sat in the very same stool!

The bartender walked over and asked him if he could help him? The duck said, "quack, quack, quack, got any raisins?"

The bartender said, "NO this is a BAR we don't sell raisins!" So the duck walked out again and left.

He came back the next day and sat in the same stool once again! The duck yelled at the bartender, "quack, quack, quack, got any raisins?"

The bartender said, "NO. And if you come back here once more I am gonna nail your webbed feet to the ground and you are gonna die there."The duck said, "ok", and left.

The next day came and sure enough the duck came back except he only peeped his head inside the door. He said, "quack, quack, got any nails?" The bartender replied, "No!"

The duck said "Good, then you got any raisins?"

Answer 5

A Catholic priest is conducting confession one Saturday evening. First bloke goes in and says " Father, please forgive me for I have sinned. Once a week for the past three months I've had sex with Fanny Green " " OK my son, say three Our Fathers & your sins are forgiven" replies the Priest.
Next guy goes in " Forgive me Father for I have sinned" he says. " Twice a week for past three months I've had sex with Fanny Green" " ....right" thinks the Priest. " Say three Hail Marys & your sins are forgiven".
Next chap enters the confessional: " Please forgive me Father, for I have sinned. Three times a week for the past six months I've had sex with Fanny Green"

".......hold on,my son" says the Priest "tell me, exactly who is this Fanny Green who my male parishioners seem to know so well?"
"oh, just a lady of the village that we now, Father...."

Well, on his way home that evening the Priest is still wondering who this strange woman can be.....

The next day being Sunday, the Priest is conducting Mass and climbs into his pulpit to deliver his sermon. At this point, there is a great commotion at the back of the church, the doors slam and this stunning redhead wearing a long, green coat, green patent leather shoes, a large green hat with a green boa feather sticking out of it walks nonchalently down the aisle and sits in the front pew, directly in front of the Priest, with her legs wide apart.

Well, the Priest cannot help but stare down at this amazing apparition before him; however, after a few moments he recovers his composure, and leans over the pulpit and whispers to the alter boy.

"Pssssst... tell me, son, is that Fanny Green?

The alter boy has a quick look and replies " No, Father, I think it's just a reflection off her shoes......!"

Answer 6

Sorry you're feeling blue. The best jokes I know are a bit too racy for this site. Erm.... A man goes to see a psychiatrist completely naked but wrapped in clingfilm. The psychiatrist opens the door and says "I can clearly see you're nuts".

Answer 7

When I was with my very 1st job at the age of 18 as an admin. One day my boss asked me to send a telegram (how co. communicate last time) to Indonesia & inform my Ind boss that 1 of his pants was found inside my boss's luggage as they went for a business trip in Malaysia & share the same hotel room.

The very next day when I 1st step into the office... Everyone start to laugh at me... I was puzzled then and later realised that I sent out the Telegram:-

Dear xxx,
MrX found yr part inside his luggage, will pass to you when u come Sin.

Figure out my spelling mistake & make a great diff. hahaha

Answer 8

Going Fishing?
Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed
the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage to hook up the boat for the
fishing, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The rain was coming down sideways and the wind was blowing 80 kph. I
pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio and discovered that the
weather would be bad throughout the day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed.
There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation
and whispered, "the weather out there is terrible!"

Sleepily she replied "Can you believe my stupid husband is out there
fishing."

Answer 9

I did not realise that my wife was a compulsive eater until the day came when I returned from Asda and I had to hire a rodeo clown to distract her while I put the shopping away................ I hope that makes you feel a little better. My day has been pretty bad too!

Answer 10

Octopus walks into a bar, says "I bet I can play any musical instrument" Bloke gives him a guitar which he plays better than Jimmy Hendrix. 2nd bloke says "bet you can't play the piano" The octopus plays better than Elton John. Jock gives him some bagpipes, the octopus fumbles for a minute and looks confused. Jock says "HA can ye nae play it?" Octopus says .... "play it? I'm going to sh*g it as soon as I get its pyjamas off!"