How Do You get your sloppy messy early high school graduate to clean up their room that looks like the garbag?

Answer 1

Sometimes you don't.

Much of this will depend upon what the "child" was taught earlier and how well you have kept the lines of communication open.

Forcing the issue with "My way or the Highway" speeches are foolish in the extreme. They tend to enforce abuse of power concepts. Withholding help and allowing the disorganized behavior to form a "Black hole in the household" is the other extreme.

"High school graduate" implies an adult, so the child should be treated as you would wish to be treated as an adult. Tell him or her that you need to set a time to discuss a very important issue and then do so.

When the appointed time comes, do not lecture, but rather state your position and especially how this issue makes you feel. (Did you fail to teach how important organization is? Do you feel like a failure because of their behavior? Were you trained to believe that Sloth was one of the Seven Cardinal Sins?)

Do not dominate the conversation, but allow time for replies and responses. Listen carefully. Ask questions for clarification. Look for a solution together.

By the way, I am not a neat person. Some of my children became super-organized and others took up habits closer to my own (including one who claims that physical organization is a symptom of a sick mind).

Communication between parent and child is vastly more important than "getting your way."

Answer 2

I laughed at this question because I have one of those kids too..:)
I believe its our fault to an extent that they are that way..In my case , I should have taught my boys better organizational skills( but that doesn't always return a child that is neat) I as a child, was not that clean. I tended to throw my stuff in the closet. I am hoping that with time, my boys will be neater and cleaner than they are right now..

The oldest has moved out and is getting a taste of what it's like to live in your own mess... The youngest (16) still have science projects that are in his room YUK!!!!...
I am sure eventually , they will get the idea..If we as parents don't live that way( which I don't really big clean freak)then hopefully , they will get the hint that funk is not cool....

Answer 3

sounds like you are a parent frustrated with your teens bedroom mess, do what i do-- close the door, they have to sleep in it or--
leave the door open and tell them you need the room cleaned in about 2 hours and see what that does, and if they dont have it cleaned in that time, give a consequence. something they want to do, and say they cant do that till the room is cleaned.
a very messy room is going to take about 2 to 3 hours to clean. it got dirty over time so will take awhile to clean it.
or sometimes i will help- picking up clothes and some things, they will get tired of you asking where it goes and if its good or not, they will shew you out and get it done. but give them time and dont ask every five min. if they are cleaning. set the time and then say something when the 2 or 3 hours is done.
i now make my 16yr clean it every 3 days, so not to spend 2 to 3 hours cleaning it.

Answer 4

My 13 year old is messy too. I take her cell phone away from her for a week and if that doesn't work I take it for 2 weeks. It works for a while and then I have to take it again. She also has a tv in her room but taking the cell phone seems to have an impact on her.

Answer 5

If you find out, PLEASE let me know. I just had to threaten my 15 yr old who's room looked like the landfill with taking his brand new video game away. He was up until around 11 last night working on it because this morning he was going to lose it. Now for a highschool graduate, that's probably not going to work, but would it be possible to remove all the comforts of their room??

Answer 6

The best way to get your child to clean his/her room is take every thing from the matress, to the last pencil from his/her room and dump it on their floor. Wait until they get out of the shower/etc and tell them to clean it all up. It will get the job done! Hope this helps!

Answer 7

here in the UK a father was so annoyed with the state of his daughters bedroom he created his own website and placed a pic of the room on it and showed it to the world. I cant remember the name of the site butit worked she was so embarrassed she cleared it and kept it clean.The father and daughter featured on many well known tv programmes over here.

Answer 8

You don't.
Don"t allow food in bedroom.
Don't pick up his wash.
Shut the door and let them live with it..
When they get hungry and run out of clean clothes they deal with it.
It isn't easy but it works if they have to deal with the consequences of doing it for themselves.

Answer 9

Pile everything on top of something of value (nothing that will harm anything). Tell them if they want to use it, sit on it, or lie in it, they have to clean up the mess.

Answer 10

You say, "This is my house. You will respect my rules while you live here. If you cannot, you will move out."

Then do it.