Alternative nursery rhymes. lol?

Question

Great nursery rhymes by richard digance.


Old mother hubbard
went to her cupboard
to fetch her poor doggy a bone
but when she bent over
up popped rover
and gave her a bone of his own.



sing a song of sixpence
a pocket full of rye
four and twenty blackbirds
baked in a pie
when the pie was opened
a shrivelled blackbird sat
saying "alright lad a jokes a joke, what rotten sod did that"



ding dong bell
p*ssy down a well
how can you tell
by the bleeding awful smell
who let it out
little tommy trout
then he had a sniff
and he thru him in again
down went the rope
down went the bucket
down went the cat
and he shouted "F*ck it".

Answer 1

Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front
.but she didn't wear that one very often


Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you d*ckhead.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "F*** him, He's only an egg.

Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ****
and turned it's wool to nylon

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky.

Answer 2

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RE:
Alternative nursery rhymes. lol?
Great nursery rhymes by richard digance.


Old mother hubbard
went to her cupboard
to fetch her poor doggy a bone
but when she bent over
up popped rover
and gave her a bone of his own.



sing a song of sixpence
a pocket full of rye
four and twenty blackbirds
baked in a pie
when the...

Answer 3

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack came down 9 months down
And came back as a father.

Answer 4

hey you and Tiffy forgot... Jack be nimble Jack be Quick Jacked jumped over the *#^@*^ Clumsy Mary had a little lamb a little hog, a little ham a little pork, a little veal a little sex....boy is she getting fat Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water Jill forgot to take her pill and now they've got a daughter Also Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun Jill for got to take her pill And now they've got a son Little Jack Horner sat in a corner Eating his christmas pie He stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum And said anybody that eats with their fingers are slobs Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came a spider and sat down beside her and said what's in the bowl ho Little boy blue come blow your horn we heard you were double jointed and want to watch

Answer 5

Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a roll of cheese,
Jack came down with a smile on his face
and his trousers round his knees!!

Answer 6

Old King Kole was a merry old soul, with a buckskin belly and a leather a**hole. Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow ? With silver bells,and cocker shells, and 0ne motherf***ing egg plant. Columbus had a famous ship, it was a double decker, when Isabella waved her hand, Columbus waved his P**ker. Columbus had a cabin boy, who was a little nipper, he filled his a** with broken glass, and circumcised the skipper. Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump over the candle stick. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!

Answer 7

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
and sat down beside her
And said "hey b*tch, whatcha got in the bowl?

Answer 8

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a roll of cheese, Jack came down with a grin and a smile and his trousers down to his knees.

Answer 9

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water,
Jill bent over to fill the pail,
Now Jack is trying to raise bail!

Answer 10

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet,
Her clothes were all tattered and torn,
But it wasn't the spider that had sat down beside her,
It was Little Boy Blue with his HORN.