I try to be supportive and encouraging. Most of my compliments are met with resistance, like she doesn't believe them and hence, thinks I am lying. Moreover, she has said before that she doesn't deserve to be in a relationship. She is such a great woman and great person. I want her to see that. Is there anything I can do to convince her? She knows she has issues with this stuff, so how can we start to get past it?
2006-11-10 21:51:09 · 8 answers · asked by randyken 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Most of my compliments are met with resistance, like she doesn't believe them and hence, thinks I am lying.????
Not Normal behavior for a normal female unless she is a good manipulator.
2006-11-10 22:02:17 · answer #1 · answered by kam_1261 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am intrigued by relationships and have given this a lot of thought following the end of a 14 year marriage. I did not want to be left feeling bitter or stuck.
In my opinion, I believe that people in a partnership often buy into the "fairy tale" that they have to become "ONE". So the sadness that I see happen is that partners take on each others' life/emotional/etc issues and try to fix each other instead of respecting and supporting each other. Now the relationship has begun to lose the vital essence of the relationship - the coming together of 2 unique individuals to compliment and enrich each others' lives.
In light of this - to you I say - your role with this woman is to just be there for her; to listen, support, hold etc. Her healing/fixing has to come from within. I understand that you compliment her because you want to help her increase her self confidence and to see that she is a great woman. Just listen and follow her lead. She knows what she needs. It will be okay.
Good luck to you both.
2006-11-11 06:10:56 · answer #2 · answered by goddess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your words are met with resistance, try to do more with actions. Like when you say you'll be there at 8, be there at 8, when she trusts you enuf with those things, the next time you compliment her, bring those examples up. It proves and shows that you mean what you say at all times. As for her saying she doesn't deserve to be in a relationship, again, prove more with actions. Tell her she is, otherwise she would not be IN a relationship at all. Maybe you could remind of all the good things she's DONE or is doing, she can deny words but nobody can deny actions. I hope I helped.
2006-11-11 06:07:02 · answer #3 · answered by stormsandblues 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really tough for you, and it may be hard to resolve, but if you like her enough you should try your hardest to make her feel good. Maybe you only compliment her when she thinks you want something, girls do notice. Or maybe there is an underlying issue causing her this grief, a counsellor could be really helpful. Just be supportive, and say that she upsets you when she talks like this, so if you didn't want to be there then you wouldn't,
2006-11-11 06:13:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she says she doesn't need to be in a a relationship, believe her.
dating someone w/ low self esteem is a drag, get her some help
2006-11-11 06:00:19 · answer #5 · answered by Joie de Vivre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first dont put pressure on her to get over it,sit her down and just tell her what u think
2006-11-11 05:54:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you'll just have to be genuine, and show her that it isn't an act. let her know that she is as awesome as you see her. it might take awhile, but she'll come around.
2006-11-11 05:55:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't pressure the girl dude!! and don't do things that she doesn't like!!!! show your love to her and do the things that she wants
you to do!!!!!gud luck!
2006-11-11 06:00:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋