I love my friend but her four year old boy is seriously damaging our friendship and seems to me she doesn't care. Every time I try to speak to her she gets angry.
2006-11-10 19:36:08 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Maybe when you tried to talk to her you did it in a negative way. Mothers normally do not want to know that their kids are spoiled. Try a possitive attitude by saying something like: "You know, Sherry, I love your little boy as if his mine and that's the reason why I take the liberty of speaking with you about the fact that sometimes he's out of control and doing things that really annoys me. I want to get along with him but you letting have his way all the time makes it really difficult." Or something in this line. I hope it helps. Good luck.
2006-11-10 19:53:59 · answer #1 · answered by ina W 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As a mother of 2 4yrs and a 1 yr old. I need to first ask this, do you have children of your own? Because as a Mom you would be more understanding that her life has completely change and at least my 4 yrs old want my attention. I think if you really wanted to help your friendship with your friend spend an afternoon with that child and get to know him better, so that he will not feel in competition with you for his mom. I hope this makes sense to you. I would be livid if my "best" friend told me my child was a brat. that is rude and uncalled for. Instead if my friend came to me in the approach of hey you know that really bothers me when "insert name" does "whatever". and maybe that Will help ?
2006-11-10 20:01:19 · answer #2 · answered by augustine_32579 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like her boy is wanting his mum's attention all to himself therefore seems to play up when your around, we could do with more info on this one though!!
such as what do you mean by brat? does he hit/scream/tantrum etc? and then she let's him get what he wants when he does?
Have you asked her nicely about how she's coping? Anger is the first form of defence she could be in denial that her 'angel' is a terrible 'brat' If she has someone to look after him for an hour take her out and go for walk or something and discuss in gently and tell her not to get angry but your concerned and you feel like she doesn't care. I hope this makes sense and helps a little. (sorry it's so long)
2006-11-10 19:46:29 · answer #3 · answered by Abi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu might have to just stay away from them until the kid grows up a bit more. Maybe you and your best friend can go out for a girls only lunch and each leave the little ones at home with daddy.
You can also make "I' statements in stead of "you" Statments.
For instance you might say "your son is so out ouf control, he hits the other kids, can't you do something." OK, this puts her on the defensive.
Try saying something like. " I really feel uncomfortable when your son is hitting other kids. "I need to get going now"
Truth is....you mostly likely can't change her and her son, you can only change how you react to them. And that might mean you don't see her unless she is without the kid. If you lose her friendship...then what sort of friend is she?
2006-11-10 19:46:09 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
YOu don't however may I suggest that when you two get together make sure you go out and she get a sitter. Suggest a movie or something else that she wouldn't be the little guy with her. Go out for coffee. Let the baby's dad take care of him while you two slip out. You might not go out as much however you will have her undivided attention and no spoiled brat.
2006-11-10 22:41:21 · answer #5 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about it. No way you can convince a mother that her child is a spoiled brat. (Seriously) If you want to preserve the friendship, try spending time with her when the child is not around.
2006-11-10 19:40:37 · answer #6 · answered by MyPreshus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think I've ever met a 4-year-old that doesn't act spoiled. It's an important age and they're learning a heck of a lot.
I'd like to know more... How does he act as if he was spoiled?
2006-11-10 20:15:33 · answer #7 · answered by Jocelyn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't, she won't believe you, who do you think turned him into a brat? Although if he is misbehaving in your home you can ask her to make him stop. Here's the thing - she loves him more than you, which is how it should be. Although she is doing him a real disservice but allowing him to be rude. She should be teaching him manners, but that would mean that she has to act like a parent. God forbid she shouldn't be his friend. Maybe you could mention to her that he needs a mom not a friend.
2006-11-10 19:48:58 · answer #8 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Spend time with the mother & son together & appreciate better behavious from other kids. Instead of telling your friend, try to communicate with her son. Kids are more open to criticism than parents.
2006-11-10 20:40:13 · answer #9 · answered by NISHA A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
But out, either quit going around , live with it or tell her & she will kick your a*s out the door...you choice. She amy hev been your best friend but now she is a mom, and their is no rath like a mothers
2006-11-10 19:41:26 · answer #10 · answered by notAminiVANmama 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋