Question For Parents Only!!!!!?

Question

What age do you feel is appropriate to talk to you child about SEX? As parents we are quick to talk about stangers but not Sex with are children, I feel this needs to change and be put on top of the list of things we should talk about with our children. I remember talking to my 5 year old nephew about adults touching him and telling him know matter who it is (mom,dad,grandprents,aunts etc) to always tell someone whats going on and when he turn 11 years old we had a small talk about girls and what he felt about them and now he is 14 yrs old and I gave him his first box of comdoms and set down and talk with him again. His mom is great she just can't do the talking, and his father feels young boys should feel on women and learn that way. (stupid).. I am happy I did this for him because not only has he done his on research he also try to help others. Just the other day he told me one of his friends had sex and he is scared she might be pregnant. His friend is 16 and so is the girl.

For the people who feel I gave him comdoms to early is crazy, I feel what if he went and had sex without them did you every ask yourself that, I perfer him to have them and know what comes with having them, I just didn't give him a box of comdoms and say ok then your on your own, I talk with him about the responsibilities and the emotions that goes along with SEX, I didn't have enough room or time to explain bit by bit of my conversation with him. My point is I being talking to him since he was 5 years old and letting him know whats right and whats wrong and praying that he listen to me and he will carry my infomation in the future for himself and children when he has them. For parents that are scared to talk or give the children comdoms should be worried. And far as school teaching them SEX Ed. I remember that course and it was a joke. And you think its ok for the school to give comdoms out but not the adult, I don't get that one.Thanks for your answers and good luck with your kids.

First off I did'nt take anything away from the parent, she didn't do any talking or did you read my statement, and hell know I would not care if another adult talk with my child about this, if it was done correctly, because the mother wasn't doing it so I spoke with her and told them I was going to have this conversation with her child and she said ok, because she couldn't. Sometimes its take only one person to change a child life. He is a great student and a great young man, and his mother thanks ME everyday for my helping with her child and doing something she could'nt do, because she was 17 when she had him and was lost. If the parent can't do it, then I hope someone in the family is concern enough to do so.

Thanks to everyone for there answers, it shows me that there are parents out there doing the same thing I did, which is talking with there children. For Jessy I am very adamant about my answers and that is just me, but I always read and learn from others as well, you said some good things in your answer, but you should have read my whold statement before answering my question because you got something wrong. My sister-in-law did give me permission and I just didn't hand him a box a comdoms and say go for it. I had a very long talk with him and he understands, he is a very bright child and a very smart one. Read before you answer, but thanks anyway for your answer.

Answer 1

I think above the age of nine - little conversations should start off. Although I do feel more in the way of it depends on the social level of the child and the neighborhoods environment that they are exposed to.

I think it's great that you've taken on the role and passing down important information in your nephews life. Examples set by you are going to be what he passes down to his children when the time comes.

I guess Approximate age of 10... Both Boys and Girls.

Good topic and excellent question.

James P Reardon Sr.
http://www.bettermember.net

Answer 2

You are a terrific Aunt, good for you, some parents find it hard or impossible to have this talk with there kids, and I can understand that but I would urge them to ask a close relative to help if they can't, and don't get me wrong I don't think these kids should be having sex at a young age, but they don't need to be bringing babies into the world at that age either. So the less of the two evils are to educate them to protect themselves. Because now days they are going to do it sooner or later. I'm 62 and so glad I'm not a parent of a teen any longer, but when needed I talk to my Grand kids if I have to. And yes if I had to give them condoms I would. I have 10 Grand kids ages 15 to 25 and already have 2 greats. I think each child may need this talk when its right for them, they are all there own person. I married at 16 not because I had to, but things have changed a lot over the years. I am nominating you for Aunt of the year. Keep up the good job.

Answer 3

I have had the "sex talk" as a long drawn out talk hitting on the topic as questions arose... I would give aage approprite answers... By the time that my children reached 8-9 they had a very good overview of sex and what it involves... They are and were always free to ask any question knowing I would give them an honest answer or tell them "I don't know, lets research it"... ( Yes I don't know has happened once or twice because of a new name for an old act)...

If you are straight forward with your kids from the moment the first questions begin, you will never have that awkward talk trying to explain every detail all at once...

I started talking about birth control and it's enprotance to thier lives at age 9-10 letting them know I prefered if they wait until marriage but making sure they knew my view "Premarrital sex shouldn't be a death sentence." In todays society with STD's etc.. It can be a death sentence without proper protection.. I am not naive enough to imagine my kids will wait.. I didn't ... I would rather them come to me openly and say "Mom, I want to have sex and I need protection" instead of "Mom I had sex unprotected and now I have HIV."

While all parents would hope thier children will wait, neglecting to give them the proper pertinent information is not a guarentee they will wait but it is a guarentee if they try sex unprepared they are more likely to utter the words "Mom I have (insert STD).."

Nope not my kids they know all the information know I would rather have them wait but also know if they are gonna have sex I want to know so I can be sure they have protection...

Answer 4

I'm not really sure what the appropriate age would be to discuss sex to a child. I'm pretty sure I started talking about sex to my son when he was about 11 years old. He still didn't have the maturity for it so I waited until he was 12 years old. This year him being 13 I found out he had a girlfriend and he had his first kiss (aww isn't that cute) anyway I then said I think he is ready so I was in the kitchen one day and just started talking to him now did it get to him don't know I think he is more embarrassed that "mom" is talking to him about a personal subject. His dad was to chicken to do it. When my son was a lot younger I gave him a book that is written for kids and it talked about everything from puberty all the way to woman having children. He read that book so when I started talking to him he seems to grasp on. Who knows he is 13 and I'm sure his hormones are going wild.

I feel you did the right thing because there are a lot of kids out there having sex starting at age 10 and becoming pregnant at age 13 to 14. Me I was 14 when I had sex for the first time and got pregnant at the age of 16 so I really don't want my son following my footsteps so I use his father and I's experience with him all the time trying to make him realize the consequences of having sex. I did take sex-ed in jr high and yes it is a joke. You don't take is seriously because your young so all you do is sit there and laugh at stuff.

There are a lot of people who are on the fence about condoms and birth control. Giving them to kids at a young age. The question is though if they are going to do it then they are going to you can't be with your child 24/7. Yes it does look like your giving him permission but at least you know your child will be safe. Have I given my son condoms yet "NO" he doesnt' have a girlfriend anymore and he doesn't get out much so I'm not to worried about it at this time. Next year he will be in high school and that is when I will worry the most.

You have done a good thing here. You may have saved his life as well as another parents life (the girlfriend). Having kids at a young age is hard and it such a life change. THere are a lot of STD's out there as well that can really alter their life as well. Let these kids be kids and lets teach them the rights and wrongs of having sex. All we can do is communicate with them and hope they take our advise and wisdom.

I found the book that I gave my son. It is on Amazon.com I have pasted a link to this post. Good luck to EVERYONE out there that is dealing with this situation!

Answer 5

For my girls (13 and 7) I discuss things in an age appropriate manner. My oldest knows alot because I do talk to her about things frequently and would much rather her hear it from me then her buddies. My 7 yr old just asked me where babies come from and with out going into detail I told her from the vagina and she said ooohh gross I thought they came out of your belly.

Personally I think you handled it very well I am just thankful I have girls because the whole condom thing would have been making me question when I should give him some and talk to him. I still have to do the BC with my oldest but right now her idea of dating is just exchanging notes and spending hours on the phone. Personally I think I am one of the lucky parents right now

For those of you that can't talk to your parents about sex I am so sorry. At first it was a little uncomfortable but I don't want the school teaching my child about something so intimate and serious without her getting it from me first

And to those that think giving a 14 yr old condoms or putting a 16 yr old on BCP, Some may see it as a green light but as other said the kids are doing it much younger and as a parent you just have to hope you have instilled enough moral value in your child to help them make that choice as to when to have sex

Answer 6

I can see you're very adamant about making your point and defensive towards people who don't agree with your frame of mind: so why ask a question you don't want answered any other way except yours?

You can TALK to a child about sex, what you cannot do is give the child PERMISSION to go out and have sex. Giving him condoms to be "safe" is just as stupid as giving your kid marihuana in your home so that he won't smoke it on the street corner. It doesn't make it safer; it makes YOU irresponsible. So as a parent, I don't agree with you.

We need to educate our kids about all things: drugs, alcohol, sex. But we can't tell them "you shouldn't do it" and then say "if you're gonna do it..." because that's an open door to a teenager who wants to experiment. And who's to say that same child who strayed away from your advice is gonna use the condoms you gave him when and if the time comes? You gave him the thumbs-up hoping he'd be protected, and he probably won't even remember where he put the condoms you gave him when he's faced with the situation. He will only have his conscience and what you told him on his mind, and if what you did was give him a box of condoms, what do you think your message was?

And as a parent, I would be appalled if his aunt or uncle did something like this without even speaking to me about it first. I would be furious. Although you may not think so, you did overstep your role as an UNCLE because YOU felt that your sister and her husband didn't know how to speak to their son about sex and went off and bought him a box of condoms. This is a sensitive matter parents should deal with and be allowed to make the final decisions on, not uncles. Sorry, but I think you're totally wrong here.

Answer 7

I think you did the right thing. I have two boys of my own (17 & 13) and a 10 year old stepson tobe. My boys and I have a very open relationship when it comes to talking about sex.
As long as your sister isn't upset about the talk or you giving him condoms I say WAY TO GO!!! It is better the kids learn at an early age b/c they seem to be growing up quicker.
Good Job!

Answer 8

as soon as they start asking questions. many parents feel that if they talk about, it will cause the child to go out and do it, like it's permitted just because they talked about. The opposite is true, the more you keep quiet about the more it becomes forbidden and mysterious and you know humans and forbidden and mysterious things!

As far as giving things like condoms...that depends on the child and situation. If you feel that your teenager might start becoming sexually active, then sit and talk no matter if they are 13 or 19. I myself wouldn't give my 16 yo daughter condoms just like that. I feel that if she wants that kind of a mature step, then she has to take everything that comes with it, the responsibility. Even if it's asking me to take her to the doctor for birth control, that's taking responsibility and a being mature about it. I hope that she'll wait, but I also hope she'll be responsible if the time comes.

Answer 9

It's really hard to say what age a person should get a sex talk. one has to judge each child some will be ready at a younger age than others. My son-in-law got the sex talk & tons more at a young age. His mom is a nurse & has always worked in OBGYN.
You didn't say if you are a parent & if your nephew's parents were OK with you talking to their son.
I know I would not like it if a family member did that to one of my kids.

Answer 10

My children learnt about sex when they started talking, I baught books of female parts and male parts my children were around the age of 2yrs old roughly maybe 3 yrs old, but I wanted my children to know everything about it that I possibly could, my daughter now is 12yrs old soon to be a teen and she has her first bf, and he has asked her many times for a kiss and a hug to show that she cares for him, and she says no cause it is a form of sex hugging and kissing to a point but she told him that holding hands is just fine, my daughter till this point did not like boys said that they were gross, and now 12yrs old and has a bf and she tells him and not that I try to hear them talking but she always tells him no to sex, and that there both not ready for it, she has told me many times she is waiting till marriage and I think by telling her at an early age this is why she is waiting, and plus seeing me as a single mom and no dad around helps as well, I think more parents should be telling there children the facts of life early to warn them of not just having sex, but the consequences that sex has if they do not wait and make sure he is the right one to have sex with, there could be so many things they can achieve by parents warning children at a young age about this, and also at the same time they do learn from right from wrong touching as well!