I have been with my boy friend now for 7 years, and have treated his kids like my own. But what I don't understand is why they don't like me. About 3 years ago I let the exwife move to help her get off drugs, and to be apart of the kids life, and all I get is grief from his parents. I feel lost because all I want to do is please them, and have everyone be happy. But it is like they blame me for something and I don;t know why. they don't even want me at there house for Thanksgiving or Christmas and I am slways left home by myself..
2006-11-10 18:50:39 · 14 answers · asked by girlsbear 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Let me tell you like this sister. First off you have been with this man seven years and you are still just boyfriend and girlfriend? That's the first no,no. He's been around long enough to make you his wife. Hey, I just mean your doing wifely duties. As far as his kids go. Baby, you better get you a life. They probably will never like you. Your not their mommy. There's no telling what they have been told about you. Surely you know it anit sugar and spice and everything nice. I didn't get the other part. Did you let the ex wife move in or did you help her move. Either way that's too much. As far as his parents go. You can't make no one like you. If they don't like you so what. That's their lost not yours. I say F*** them. They are probably the reason he hasn't asked you to marry him yet. Girl, get some balls. If they act like that you shouldn't want to be around them Thanksgiving and no other holiday. As far as I'm concerned my in-laws don't like me either. I don't care. I don't go to their house and I don't care for them at mines. My husband tells them if they can't except his wife and family he wouldn't be at their house either. Of course they act like they love me when I'm around. I know better. If they say something smart I get even smarter. And am ready for a fight. They say I'm crazy. I don't care. All of them have lived in my house when they had no where else to go. After a but 3 months I told my husband this is it. They got to go to night or else your leaving with them. Needless to say they left that night. I couldn't take no more. Me and my husband has been together 17 years and still going strong. So when my family acts a fool with him we don't go around them either. It all about RESPECT. So we go places where we are both welcome. I also think your bf needs to grow some balls cause he's not standing up for you and him. Sorry no harm meant, but it's the truth. Think about it. I'd say get out the whole thing cause it's not just you and him it's you and THEM!!! Good Luck and GOD BLESS!!!!!
2006-11-10 19:09:16 · answer #1 · answered by kryptonnite2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy!!! You sound like a picture of me and I'm a female. I don't even know why I'm answering this. I guess because I am relating to you so well.
My theory now after eight and half years is they need someone to blame. I mean, it's easier than blaming themselves because they didn't do a damn thing.
That's all I have to say. It's just the way I feel about my situation which seems almost identical to yours. Take care, good luck. You deserve it.
2006-11-10 18:57:02 · answer #2 · answered by one_sahara 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Damn I am sorry you are going thru this crap. But you can be with your parents and your family for the holidays. They are old school and they see the ex wife as the kids mother and they feel (erroneously) that he will someday get back together with her if you were not in the picture. After 7 years they should realize its not gonna happen
2006-11-10 18:58:19 · answer #3 · answered by Agnon L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were not put on this earth for everyone to like you! If they don't , it's their loss, not yours. You've done something so wonderful by allowing the ex to move in to help her get her life straight, and that will be rewarded to you in the future. Just remember it's the people that dislike you the most that will need you before you need them!
2006-11-10 20:35:32 · answer #4 · answered by Nille 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like hes still mummy and daddy's little boy. Invite yourself round at Christmas & Thanksgiving, show them that you come as a pair now, and be as nice as you can to them (I know it's hard ive been there) You have supported him and his ex wife & kids, you are a part of his life and they need to understand that. I ended up leaving my ex because of his mum, she was nasty and he was a soft **** lol. Show them your here to stay and don't let them push you out.
2006-11-10 19:56:14 · answer #5 · answered by Jovi Freak 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is messed up....But if you have the Love and Support of the boyfriend he should be standing up for you...And it would seem that now would be a good time to start your own traditional Thanks Giving and Christmas with just the kids and your Boyfriend.
2006-11-10 18:59:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your own boyfriend goes to his parents house for holidays and leaves you alone?? You have to be the biggest doormat on the planet. Run lady. Run like hell and find someone who will cherish you. Do not stay in this a minute longer.
2006-11-10 18:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've been with your boyfriend for 7 years and you're still with him??
1. Screw what his parents think. Have some self respect. Don't go out of your way to please someone else.
2. If your man isn't man enough to stick up for you and want you there, dump his bonehead butt too.
Perhaps they think the world of his dopey ex..the drug addict. Do yourself a favor and find someone who respects you. He's out there somewhere.
2006-11-10 18:57:38 · answer #8 · answered by vamedic4 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to understand. There's no rhyme or reason to it. Take my word for it, I've been where you are. Be true to yourself. That's all you can be THAT you can live with. Anything else is bullshit. Seriously. Don't worry about pleasing them. Really. They won't appreciate it anyway. Email me. I will tell you stories. Stay true to yourself.
2006-11-10 18:58:03 · answer #9 · answered by Shaun M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If You can't seem to please them after 7 years, it time to quit trying. If your boyfriend is seriously in love with you he needs to make a stand. I would set a time limit for him to change and stand up for you, or you should move on.
2006-11-10 18:58:06 · answer #10 · answered by clh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋