this is a big taboo with the rest of the family...since I am the only liberal family member...she wants me to break the news ...I told her its her linen and that she should learn to clean her own linen..was I right ???
2006-11-10 18:45:59 · 27 answers · asked by serengeti 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Most definitely it's her dirty clothes to air. You can be supportive, but you don't have to be the messanger. Remember, people tend to kill them. No, honey, if she's wanting to marry this man, and is old enough too without parent's ok. Then it's her's.
I think it's unfair of her to ask you to do this. I am hoping she wanted you to do, because you can sway the family into accepting this. But you ability to help the family to accept this, should be done after she announces the news. You were definitely right! I hope that the family is understanding that will accept her decision, but that's their choice, just like it's her choice to marry this man. I am not against mixed marriages, but I have seen how it tears families apart. It cause ripples and tears in the relationships that sometimes never are repaired. You can help mend them, but you certainly don't want to be the one to start the heartaches that this is going to cause.
You done right, and I agree totally with you. It's your neice's linen, and she should be the laundrey cleaner-not you!
God bless us all..........
2006-11-11 01:45:36 · answer #1 · answered by totallylost 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think that she is immature. I think that is scared to death of the family's reaction. Yes, she needs to be the one to tell them but I think you should be there to offer support. Maybe kinda throw a birdie out there so at least they will have an idea. Tell her you have her back, and that you will be there for support when she tells the family. It may seem hard now but the family will appreciate it more coming from her. But, like I say, drop a little birdie in the air. C'mon........what's it going to hurt?
2006-11-11 06:05:42 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Hodges 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clean her own linen? Why do you imply that it is dirty? If you are the most liberal member of the family I can understand why she is afraid to break the news to them.
In any case she should introduce her boyfriend to her immediate family and let them know that the relationship is serious so that they can get used to it.
2006-11-11 02:55:51 · answer #3 · answered by babydoll 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Woah... I really never realised the world was still this racist out there! Yikes. Get over it guys seriously.... (And thanks for the wake-up call!)
Anyway I agree that it is up to her to tell her family - no way is it your place to do that - however, I believe she could really use your support - maybe if she's telling some of the rellies in person you might want to be there with her? Are you afraid your own family will turn against you if you support her in her decision? Although it is definitely her who needs to do the telling, she's gonna need some support and someone to talk to!
2006-11-11 04:18:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she is old and mature enough to love someone and agree to spend the rest of her life with them...regardless of their qualities, attributes or personal differences she should contain the fortitude to make her decision and stand by her feelings. If she is unable to do that the point of being able to sustain a relationship with another individual become mute.
2006-11-11 05:32:34 · answer #5 · answered by jodie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. My daughter dates black guys and I decided to tell my parents because I feel like there is a 90 percent chance that she will marry one. I raised her not to be racist, but my parents are. It will be much better for her if you do tell the rest of the family. Then they can get their displeasure out without her in hearing distance. It's not going to change her mind but it could hurt her for the rest of her life. Please do her a favor and talk to the family. It's the best thing.
2006-11-11 02:56:12 · answer #6 · answered by Jan G 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We don't chose a person's color , nor can we choose who our family members fall in love with. If your family loves your niece then they will accept her decision. She should be proud to tell her family this is the person she wants to marry,if she's that scared to then i have to question her feelings for this person
2006-11-11 05:47:31 · answer #7 · answered by CareBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think she should be the one to break to her family members. But I see no problem with having you there as support/back-up. But ultimately it is her problem to deal with.
2006-11-11 05:43:33 · answer #8 · answered by SexyLady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you were right...but could you not offer to be there when she tells them as a bit of back up?? After all, what's the big deal??? if he's nice and kind and loves her and she does to him then if their happy what does anything else matter. Hope it goes well for her.
2006-11-11 06:09:28 · answer #9 · answered by aza 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's definately her responsibility to break the news. It is upsetting how many close minded people are still out there in this world.
2006-11-11 17:31:07 · answer #10 · answered by Yen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋