This old, out dated tradition is so repulsive I hope the practice is dying out. So if the father says no, you are not going ahead with marrying the woman you love? Of course not so why even go thru the silliness? I guess if her family has money then you better do it, NOT! Come on people, we are constantly evolving as a civilization, stop doing things that don't make any sense. Spare me of any 'respect' arguments, that dog won't hunt! If you are not going to abide by his decision, why carry on the charade? Please grow a set!
2006-11-10 18:38:42 · 18 answers · asked by Big Brother 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Be respectful by being repectful, how about that? Saying yes sir or calling someone mister doesn't necessarily mean you are being respectful, see Eddie Haskel.
It's a charade and it's fake respect!
2006-11-10 18:51:17 · update #1
I'm answering my own question, WHAT? I asked a question then gave my take on it. WOW!
2006-11-10 18:57:13 · update #2
......i agree!...a lot of protocol's these day's are crap,... and the church is the worst offender of the lot..... There's so much fakey, phoney stuff, these day's!....
2006-11-10 18:46:22 · answer #1 · answered by peanut 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Out of respect I have told my boyfriend that he has to ask for permission before I will accept a ring. My parents, my dad especially, love him so I know they will gladly say yes with no hesitation...the real reason behind asking permission was to make sure the family didn't have an arranged marriage in line already. Although that has all but faded away in this day and age, it is still done sometimes to let the parents know what is going on. I think it is a fantastic tradition.
2006-11-11 10:06:38 · answer #2 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really didn't think this was done anymore. I had never heard of any of the married men I know going and asking the lady's parents for permission or a blessing before hand. Knowing my Dad, I didn't think he would want it either. He is a rather shy man when it comes to other people, but very outgoing in the immidiate family. My now fiance asked me to marry him the middle of September, and did not discuss it prior with my father. Turns out, my Dad was really quite shocked that he wasn't asked before hand. Everyone gets along really well, but Dad was just wanting that bit of tradiion. I wish I could get it done all over again, cause I really would want my Dad included. My Mom was shocked that my Dad took it that way, my own Mom had no idea that was something he wanted. My Dad is all fine and good now though. Anyways, be forwarned, just do it anyways.... nothing wrong with some formality and tradition :)
2006-11-11 21:58:43 · answer #3 · answered by Kass 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am a 28 year old woman and I obviously have a larger set of brass ones than you!
Get a life!
This age old tradition is a beautiful one that more people should partake in.
It is not only respectful but it assists the husband to be to develop a mature relationship with his father in law to be.
You have to remember that you are taking away Daddy's Little Girl and it's always good to have him onside, especially if he is paying for the big day!!
2006-11-11 02:49:57 · answer #4 · answered by trishyblue 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you would answer your own question, but if you're interested in what other people think....I think any father hopes for a good, respectable man for his little girl. I think you should ask, just as a formality. I thnk the world has already evolved enough. People in old times had a respect for each other that people today just don't have. And if you ever have a little girl of your own, you will want to have some say in who she grows up and marries.
2006-11-11 02:48:05 · answer #5 · answered by YourHighness 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is simply a tradition that sets a good rapport with your future in-laws. Her dad or both parents will see the act as your intention to be part of their family and show reverence to the contract that they most certainly understand the two of you will enter into with or without their blessing. It creates a memory that they will base feelings on in the future. If you are uncomfortable with asking for her hand the two of you should inform them together. It shows maturity and her parents will undoubtedly understand it is difficult. What you decide should be a mutual decision. Trust me creating good feelings is quite important...it is old fashioned and sentimental. Possibly you will one day have problems, children or need help and their support of you will make life much smoother.
2006-11-11 06:06:42 · answer #6 · answered by jodie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband of almost 30 years did not ask for "permission" but he did ask for my parents blessing. That is different from permission. Having both families blessings starts the marriage with a peaceful relationship with in-laws. This can be important in years to come, especially as children are born. I would hope that any man who wanted to marry my daughter would do the same thing,
Something similar happens at weddings when the minister asks the question "Who gives this woman in marriage to this man?"
2006-11-11 02:48:49 · answer #7 · answered by babydoll 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It IS a respect thing, especially in the South, where the tradition is alive and well.
My fiance asked my dad's permission. If my dad had said no, then we wouldn't have gotten engaged. That's the truth. And it's true of a lot of my friends who have recently gotten engaged.
If you don't like it, don't do it. But you have no right in making fun of something you don't understand.
2006-11-12 11:21:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think now a days it's more of a blessing or an announcement of what is in the planning.... I know for many Mexicans it is common to "ask permission,." but that's just a form of respect and the bride & groom dont really wait for an answer.
From my family's point of view, my boyfriend would have "to ask" but it's more of him letting them know of our plans....at least that's what my mom mentions.
But I agree, if my parents were to say no - I would still do it! Cuz it is my choice.
Maybe asking for permission is like asking for money - can I marry your daughter and while we are at it, can you pay for our wedding = )
2006-11-11 05:31:54 · answer #9 · answered by Veronica 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your taking the wrong approach to the questio. if someone has been with thier partner for a certian amount of time they ask the parents just to be polite and it's probably a foregone conclusion but it's setting things into motion to make it official(the engagement) it's not about getting permission it's about sharing the joy of the engagement
2006-11-11 02:53:39 · answer #10 · answered by keoni_21 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband didn't necessarily ask my father's permission...but he did go to him ahead of time and let him know his intentions. It shows respect and is a quaint tradition. Not many parents these days are going to say NO anyway. Why are you so against a harmless tradition? Your girlfriend's father demanding it? As long as something doesn't hurt anyone, MYOB!
2006-11-11 02:49:52 · answer #11 · answered by schaianne 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋