my ex wrote me saying he was going to try things out again with his current girlfriend (broke up for a bit). he said in an email that he would let me know what happens but that he would be grateful for space at the moment. WHAT THE ****? is he keeping me around just incase he and his current girl dont work out???? what would you do? ive known him 7 yrs, dated 3 and he and i have a very unique relationship, we care and have feelings still for one another but, maybe it is timing??? THOUGHTS??? no, i have not replied to that email!!!
2006-11-10 17:54:44 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY!! IN DETAIL PLEASE!!
2006-11-10 17:59:45 · update #1
WHATS THE BEST WAY TO BRUISE HIS EGO? HE IS DRAGGING ME ALONG AND I'M LETTING HIM, SHAME ON ME! THOUGHTS?! I'M SCARED TO BE AN *** TO HIM BUT I HAVE TO TO SAVE MYSELF...
2006-11-10 18:05:30 · update #2
PS. If you tell me to use common sense, dont even think about adding it as a reply. I KNOW all about that---this is why Im having a problem. Im a smart and terrific girl still attached to this awful guy. UGH.
2006-11-10 18:30:28 · update #3
I'm glad you didn't reply to the email. I don't think, at this point--that it matters much how long you've known each other, etc., if he feels free to do this kind of thing to you. I suppose YOU should be grateful that he says he'll let you know "what happens." Thanks but no thanks. I would NEVER let him flip-flop with me. Truly, I'm not being cynical. This is a red flag if I ever saw one. He can do this once, he'll do it again. I wouldn't "enable" him by being there if it doesn't work. Cut loose.
I went back after seeing your added details & this things tells me I can edit! Don't even THINK about bruising his "ego." He isn't worth it, & to do so would only show how attached you still are to him. His ego will be bruised quite naturally if: He lets you know what happened, he's still with the current girlfriend, & you warmly respond that you wish him your best, or, if it didn't work, you tell him you're really sorry about that, but you're already seeing someone really, really nice that you just met. & keep your tone as sincere as possible. & for goodness sake, don't let him know any of this bothered you one little bit.
2006-11-10 18:08:27 · answer #1 · answered by Psychic Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like pressure from the current girlfriend, she no doubt see's you as a threat. Probably jaded of your relationship, not many can carry on with any lasting relationship after a 3 year breakup.... If, however you have a relationship of sexual convenience (which I'm not knocking) with him still then you are a threat.....if you want to see he and she work things out then I would give him his distance for a while and let the girlfriend warm up to the fact that your just friends who care about each other....if your feeling more than friendship and feel she is a threat to your friendship then I would reply the e-mail and tell him exactly what it is your feeling about this whole situation.
2006-11-11 02:08:32 · answer #2 · answered by T-Bone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you accept a situation like this?? Ask yourself this question???? The majority of women complain about their ex partners, boyfriends and husbands When someone is an "EX" that means it is over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is no such thing that he needs to let you know how things are going???????!!!!!!! Use common sense and you will have less hassle in the future and won't get hurt as much. Only children can keep you tied up in a relationship that is over, if not what is the purpose of letting him humiliating this way! 80% of the people get themselves in situations that can be avoided. Look forward, you are wasting your time and time is so precious that I would not wast it on anybody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
From what you tell me I would not want to meet a man like this even if he was the last man on earth!!!!!!!
2006-11-11 02:15:35 · answer #3 · answered by marque1717 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what feelings that you two share it is not stronger than the feelings he share with his current girlfriend. You are just a security net for him. Dump the romantic feelings for him cause they may be getting in the way of you finding true love. You deserve to be no.1 in your mans life. The only timing is time to find a new man. If you get with your ex he may sleep with that girl if feelings are not gone. If he cared more for you he wouldn't think twice about her. Instead he want to leave his options open for her just in case she change her mind and want him back. He may be a good man, but not for you as a boyfriend.
2006-11-11 02:12:15 · answer #4 · answered by barbie2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You got the first part right. He is just keeping you on a string. He wouldn't have said he needs space and he was going to give it another try with his girlfriend. Be strong, start seeing someone else. He may just want you for a friend.
2006-11-11 02:02:08 · answer #5 · answered by sugarmonkey47 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE's asking you for advice? What gives him that impression?
Do you think he's just rubbing your face in it, or is he so dumb he's like clueless. 7 years is a long time. The borders between friendship and lovers became blurred for him. Men are cads. You have to be clear with him. Spell it out, or else suck it up forever. Don't keep it in, guys don't mind read well.
2006-11-11 02:04:42 · answer #6 · answered by Shinigami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why spend your life waiting to see if things work out for them. Instead of waiting on him to return to you as his 2nd choice take this time to get over him and move on to someone new and better. Don't let him continue to use you. He doesn't love you in any way shape or form.
2006-11-11 02:03:57 · answer #7 · answered by kara25701 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are his back up,,,, you have a special relationship because you allow it,,,, if this doesn't work out I'm coming back to you my love,,,,,, if he loved you he would come back now,,,, or never left,,,,, EVEN IF he came back he still going to look for something better,,, because you allowed him to,,,, write him back and say "whatever,,, I'm dating and probably won't be here then,,,, so have a good life hope things work out for you and your GF"
and start getting a life
Good luck
2006-11-11 02:08:09 · answer #8 · answered by S h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dilemma can only be answered by yourself. What is it that you want? How much respect do you have for yourself? How much of yourself are you willing to give to someone who has made the choice of kicking you to the curb in favor of someone else. What more do you need to stand up and say "to hell with him"?
Clearly he dose not have your best interest at heart. He has made his choice...now its time to make yours.
2006-11-11 02:11:40 · answer #9 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't..You should never play second fiddle to anyone, and I'm sorry to inform you that that's what you are doing..Now it's OK to have some Stallions in your stable if you are just dating, but he is using you for a rebound Queen and I don't think you want to be classified as that... Let him go..Please
2006-11-11 02:01:26 · answer #10 · answered by chubbie dumplins 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋