deformity that he keeps hidden, would this bother you? What if it did not cause him any discomfort or nor did it inhibit his ability to have a normal life...Would you be bothered by it..Just by sight alone?
2006-11-10 17:52:00 · 12 answers · asked by Mommy Dearest 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry, I'm not a lady, but I am a gay man. Even if I weren't, I think my answer is still universal. You need to be honest with him first of all. Tell him that it makes you uncomfortable. But let him know that it's not anything you'd like to end the relationship over (because trust me, you don't). It's just that it's something you're not used to and you wanted him to know the truth of the matter because you like to keep the air as clear as possible. You do like that, right?
The fact of the matter is, the human mind can get used to any sight, smell or sound as long as it's not physically damaging your body. Your mind sees to it that you're uncomfortable around deformities because your mind has a presculpted idea of what a body should look like. When someone's body does not add up to this idea, your mind will initially not trust it.
If you get along great, then you need to make your mind get used to this deformity. Ask him not to hide it so much when you're around, that way you can get used to it. He will appreciate the effort, and the honesty.
2006-11-10 18:01:39 · answer #1 · answered by Brento! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You SHOULD look into the heart of the person, not the outward appearance although this is a superficial world we live in. If you get along great then what does it matter what physical deformity the person may have?
I would much rather have someone in a wheelchair or missing a body part, etc., really love me then someone in perfect condition just pat me on the head as they passed by. It's NOT the outside that matters. Don't be so shallow. Life is too short for vanity.
2006-11-11 02:00:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each of us is a unique human being--no two of us are the same. Among other things, his deformity is one of the things that makes him unique--as is his particular sense of humor, the way he eats his soup, his possibly crooked smile, etc.
If you're bothered by it, perhaps he isn't the man for you. But give it a chance. Get to know the whole person, as he'll need to get to know you. Being up front with each other is the best way to have a great relationship and a true romance.
2006-11-11 02:12:45 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Sue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He prolly hid it from you b/c he liked you, didn't want to scare you away. Its something he has lived with his whole life, prolly got made fun of, he could be embarrased. Personally if everything was fine with the relationship, then let it be fine. Keep seeing him. And if you didn't notice for 2 months, then it can't be too bad right? I say if you like this guy, things are great, you get along, have common interests, then don't stoop low like others have to make him feel he needs to hide this. Talk to him about it, don't act like its not there. Make it work if he is worth it.
2006-11-11 01:58:36 · answer #4 · answered by Dee P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not at all, if your really into him it shouldn't matter
like you said its a physical deformity, i would take that any day over a mental deformity like some of the idiots Ive dated in the past
2006-11-11 01:57:29 · answer #5 · answered by samantha w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's just about dating...might be bothered a bit but it might even intrigue me too. There's more to people than physical imperfections. Truth to tell, I stayed too long and got myself tied up. Now, that's another category to consider.
2006-11-11 02:27:27 · answer #6 · answered by Yve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is strictly up to you. It doesn't matter what anybody else thinks, you are the one who is going to be with him. If it bothers you, you need to really search your heart. It won't go away until you deal with it honestly.
2006-11-11 01:56:35 · answer #7 · answered by sugarmonkey47 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he's able to make you feel like you're the luckiest gal on earth,his deformities would not matter right??
2006-11-11 01:56:37 · answer #8 · answered by pristine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fortunately every body's different. No doubt it would bother some and not others.
2006-11-11 02:03:13 · answer #9 · answered by rubyflats 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd stay. deformities don't make the man. a good man is a good man is a good man, you know? it can't be that gross, can it?
2006-11-11 01:59:39 · answer #10 · answered by nickname 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋