Am I a coward?

Question

The other day, while waiting for a bus in Grosse Pointe Pk., MI (a formerly all-white enclave of the rich, but now a rental community of mixed ethnicity bordering one of the wealthiest cities in the country), I saw a young man get manhandled by the police, and arrested for seemingly nothing more than being Black.
Now, I have known this to happen to others, and I am not naive--racism is big and bad and strong in this country--and especially in Grosse Pointe.
I'm white, but I have been married to a Black man for over 25 yrs. (though we have been separated for 10.) I have biracial children and grandchildren. We lived in West Virginia in the 70s!! I mean, I have seen racism! And I have fought against racism.
But I did not run to the young man's aid. It could have been that the arresting officer yelled at a Black woman who was coming to see if the young man wanted her to call his mother, "Get back, or you're going to jail, too." It could have been that within two minutes, 2 more

cop cars arrived.
Or it could have been that I couldn't be late for work again without putting my job in jeopardy.
Or, it coulod have been that maybe, just maybe, the cop was right when he said that the young man had not cooperated with him. (But that still didn't warrant being slammed into a park bench and wooden fence.)
What should I do? I feel bad, but don't know who to contact or what to do.

Bless your heart Raquelha! Thank you for being so honest. I could feel your reluctance to even admit to yourself what you were feeling, but we DO have to look out for ourselves as well as our fellow man.
Jace: LOL! I wish I could have clicked my bracelets together and caught them all up in my golden laryiat...signed, Wonder Woman

Answer 1

I don't think you are a coward but probably practical. You could've been injured in an attempt to stop what you felt to be abusive actions. None of us were there so we can't judge what happened as far as the actions of the police are concerned but go to their department and file a complaint. I can assure you it will be investigated. I just wonder though, did you find out what the young man was arrested for because the last time I checked it's not illegal to be black so I'm thinking that your comment about him being arrested for being black is probably false. Maybe he actually committed a crime and really did resist arrest. It does happen from time to time and the law says an officer can utilize a level of force one above the level of force being used by the suspect in order to effect an arrest. Then again, you may have witnessed another bunch of low life, egotistical police officers who did violate the mans rights. Your decision to make and I'm sure you'll make the best decisilon for yourself. Check into the arrest. Call the police department and tell them that you are a resident and would like to know what the young man was arrested for on that date and time. It's public information and they should be able to tell you if you have the date and time even if you don't have his name.

Answer 2

I'm quite certain you are not a coward. You simply excerised good judgement and refrained from interfering in a situation you had no knowledge of in the first place. Obviously what you witnessed appeared to be necessary or you would have intervened. You are conditioned to distrust the police and I'm sure if you knew an abuse of power was occuring you would have gone on the offensive. But once in a while the cops are actually right, and you probably sensed that. Now your prejudices against the police are playing armchair quarterback with your psyche. If you're really curious call the PD's public affairs office and see if you can get enough info to file a FOIA request to see the report about the incident and do some investigating on your own.

Answer 3

First off I want to say I admire the way you put this and lived the struggles you lived (west va bygod!) Perhaps that is why you feel like you should have did something. Gut instict is a powerful force and yours was telling you not to be involved. Would the situation (and your feelings) have been the same if he was white, asian? You see someone get arrested you really don't know the whole situation (could have been wanted for something) You don't get involved...it is the police they have the power to arrest even you, for something that is not your business.
You should haven't done anything it was not your place.

Answer 4

I've reached an age where I have learned there are 3 sides to every story, your side, their side and the right side. Don't doubt there is intolerance at every level so don't even think that but it runs both ways. I would only pass judgment after all the facts were known, just like in a court of law. You saw what you saw but are you aware of the big picture?

Answer 5

It sounds like you did the right thing. Not knowing what the problem was I would have done the same thing. As for what yo should do now, I would call the police department and just tell them what you saw (As a wittiness)

Answer 6

Boy, after what I've gone through the past 3 1/2 years now with the cops in Denver's District 4 plus Lakewood (a suburb of Denver) I can honestly tell you that my answer prior to 3 1/2 years ago MAY have been different, and knowing me as well as I do, I'd actually have to be honest at least with myself and tell you that it almost 99.99% would have been different. But things change when you see the reality of what the police have become/are/were...??? Which do you think? I honestly would like to state that in your position I WOULD've stepped in and done something, anything for that young man, and I know I would've tried prior to actually Mid March of 2003. But have my eyes ever been opened and I haven't been arrested or have been guilty of anything during this period of time, except as a victim.

It used to be that when you asked little kids what they wanted to be when they grew up & they told you a policeman or a fireman that BOTH were honorable, but I can honestly state now that ONLY the one-being the FIREMAN is truly honorable, at least until I've seen, heard, learned otherwise, can't fathom that happening, to be quite honest.

These days we need to be just as afraid of the so-called "good???" guys, or more specifically, the police as we do the bad guys. I truly hate to categorize as I know that there are those who do the job truly to try to help others and to be what they thought the job was supposed to be when THEY were little. But when you're partnered with someone who's as bad as the one you saw the other day, or someone as bad or worse, I don't know how anyone who's trying to be a good cop can be one with all the pressure from the bad cop's today. And they far outnumber the good.

So I guess if you're asking if you're a coward because you, too, didn't want to be man-handled, thrown in jail for absolutely nothing but don't worry, the cops will charge you with SOMETHING & they'll be sure it sticks, too, then NO. I am more afraid to call them now than to not call. I had a vehicle stolen just over a year ago & TRIED to report it to the Lakewood P.D. but was essentially told that I should go in & pay the "Detective???" for his time!!!! Of which he spent none. He was dreadful to me & that was just over the phone!! And he wasn't the only one at that department, either and for absolutely different reason's, too. One detective was such a JAG that he destroyed EVERYTHING that belonged to me when the arrested me for NOTHING.....he simply didn't even want me to have my keys. It's a power thing and they'll win everytime in a court of law unless there's video from about 6 different angles.

That's what my thoughts are on the matter these days....I have to say that as sad as it is for me to actually know that I'm typing (which is to me the same as saying or admitting) this, I can't say that I'd do anything now, either.

Please forgive me all of you poor innocent victims. I don't know, I MIGHT if I didn't THINK at all.

And God forgive me, too.

Answer 7

maybe they had a reason to do that to that black perosn. maybe he was in trouble with the law or was a bad @ss criminal....i think first its better to find out the whole story, then rather make ur own

Answer 8

Just happened again in LA.

Answer 9

racism is still around,and will always be around,until people learn to open their minds..

Answer 10

Why didn't you kick the s___ out of them?