Recently my husband showed me some "funny" pics of women in sexist situations on his work email. Apparently co-workers and his boss email these around. I'm not too amused and have not met his boss yet. Would you bring the topic up or not? I think it's rather tasteless - it's a work computer, but I don't want to jeopardize his job either.
2006-11-10 17:31:31 · 18 answers · asked by Lake Lover 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I think your husband might be a little uncomfortable with this and he is sharing it with you. His boss might not realize that regardless of who he is sending these to - it IS sexual harassment. If a female co-worker gets ahold of these photos/jokes she can legitimately sue his employer for this. His boss represents the company and it's management. I know cuz I worked for a plastics recycler and every time I turned around there was a picture of a nude female or bad jokes about females...I successfully sued for sexual harassment even though the pics were sent to others...14k later...I doubt they are sending each other dirty messages any more...!
I would talk to your husband about it - he is sharing it with you but that doesn't necessarily mean you should do anything about it. It is tasteless but it IS up to your husband to decide what to do with the situation at work. I would consider his sharing it with you as a compliment to his love for you!!! As far as mentioning it to his boss...again, I wouldn't - and I would not even want to attend a party where the company is so tasteless either!
2006-11-10 17:47:28 · answer #1 · answered by Angelfood 4 · 4⤊ 2⤋
You might be meeting her defensiveness rather than her resistance. She knows she was wrong to do this and she's been caught, her defenses are up. Don't pressure her. Distance yourself a bit. Also, you must be hurt and troubled by what she said in the email. You should let her know how you feel and not be a doormat. Women don't respect or want doormats. If you don't tell her how you feel she'll have less respect for you in the future and may even think you're not man enough to stand up to her and not tolerate her behavior. Be assertive and firm and respectful and clear on what you expect from her in the marriage. Remind her of your lunch agreement. Be thankful that you found the email so you can nip this in the bud. Tell her you married a woman who you thought was going to be honorable and respectful of your marriage. Just tell her how you feel, whatever it is. It's okay to confront her, she won't leave you because of that. She'll be so sorry and probably fall into your arms sobbing. Good luck and best wishes.
2016-05-22 04:39:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as though there is a horrible lack of ethics at your husbands workplace. However, it is not your place to bring this up at the office party or anywhere else. Unless of course you don't need your husbands income. It is his place to bring this up to his boss. Don't make your husband look like a heck pecked man. How embarrassing that would be that his wife would do such a thing. I would stay out of it and mind my own business, this may cause you more problems than it is actually worth. Your concerns should be discussed with your husband and then he can do what he feels is necessary to handle the situation. Good luck and God bless
2006-11-11 09:06:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is also passing these around then he risks sexual harassment charges. If he isn't stopping them from being sent then he is risking sexual harassment charges.
Your husband needs to step up and do the right thing. He can go to his boss and say "this is not okay with me, please don't forward these types of items to me" and see what happens. If there is no resolution then he can go a level higher - but, I am pretty sure his workplace has a policy on this type of thing.
In no circumstance is it okay for you to approach the boss - it isn't your workplace or your job. If your husband does nothing then I pretty much think it is a sign of how he truly feels about women etc - taking a stand isn't easy, but when it is something you believe in then the task is worth the effort.
2006-11-11 02:03:11 · answer #4 · answered by wifey42 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see how you would be jeopardizing his job but if you feel strongly about it you need to talk to him about it. This isn't just a boyfriend, he's your husband and you should be able to approach him about stuff like this. Depending on the company he works for, someone above his boss may be monitoring email and they would all get in trouble. I know it sounds very big brotherish but I work for a hospital that does monitor and if someone sends you an email they deem innappropriate they will delete the link before you can even pull it up.
2006-11-10 17:42:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
First of all I would like to say Halloween is over so change your costume and come back and join us.................... Now I don't know how long you have been married or how old you are but come down from the trip your on and remember when men get together they talk a lot of junk......... And that you will never change. Just let the boys be boys as long as he does not cheat on you let him have his little fantasy fun. Be more confident in yourself to know your husband loves you and he can delete the e-mails and not look at them or he can make the decision to tell his boss to stop sending them.
But truly it's not your responsibility to go to meet his boss and act like his mother. If you and he decide that the e-mails are not good for your marriage cause they make you feel uncomfortable then it's up to him to handle it from there.
Don't be his mom be his wife it works better that way.
2006-11-10 19:29:03 · answer #6 · answered by purrfectsandcastle 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
The company will suffer if this is not cleaned up. Someone may use this a sexual harrassment and use these e-mails that can never be truly erased to show the non chalant attitude of the workers towards women.
2006-11-10 18:47:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
my husband gets these e-mails too and show them to me. some of them are just too damn offensive (even videos of women in cruel practical jokes -- you wouldn't want to know). it makes me so angry sometimes that i ask him, "do you find this funny, huh? do you?" and he'd be saying, "no, of course not". and i'd say, yeah, i didn't think so. lucky of you though not to be laughing when you showed it to me." but you know, you can't stop anybody sending e-mails to anybody, and the situation you described wherein even the bosses send these e-mails to his/her subordinates seems to be in every office nowadays. it seems that this is some people's idea of having fun in the workplace, and these e-mails are no big deal to them, however they offend your sensibilities. if it offends you a lot, you can ask your husband if he "really" finds these sexist e-mails amusing. you know, shame him somewhat. the next time he receives one of these he might just think twice before laughing. however, he just can't tell his boss not to send these things anymore, it might hurt the boss's feelings. and don't risk offending the boss, either. its just not worth it. just feel lucky that he/she is not your boss
2006-11-10 18:03:00 · answer #8 · answered by out of my wit's end 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would make an annonymous email to his boss letting her know that that is innapropriate work behavior and that if it doesn't stop sexual harrassment will be filed It's nont right I'm sure you are not the only one offended by this! Good Luck!
2006-11-10 17:36:07 · answer #9 · answered by MelC 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is no way to tactfully bring it up. Your husband should tell his boss that he no longer wants to receive the photos.
2006-11-10 17:35:18 · answer #10 · answered by newyorkgal71 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋