Does this sound like a mental illness?

Question

I have a SIL that is constantly wanting to move. In the last year she has suddenly announced she wants to move several times and started making plans! She has actually moved briefly 200 miles away from her family (she is married and has 2 college age children at home) and got a job. Mediocre jobs, mind you as she is not educated and her husband is the bread winner with a decent job. She is also a job hopper and quits within weeks. This is taking a toll on her family and causing stress on them but she won't get help. Usually, they just let her go on her way and she eventually comes home disallusioned. That is until the other day she convinced the family to move south.
Does this sound like depression or something else" I think she is chasing happiness that she will never find.
There is no good reason for these moves, either. No job, etc. Just running away?
How can the family help her?
Thanks!

Answer 1

I would say she has a serious problem. She is very immature -- number one. She definitely needs help of the professional kind. I know her family cares about her, but this kind of person only is concerned about her own self and how she can meet her own needs - no matter how odd they might be - and at the expence of her own families welfare. She needs a strong husband to stand up and say enough is enough. And to tell her if she refuses to get the help she needs, then he can no longer support her - emotionally or financially. What kind of example is she setting for her children. Her husband should also think of that. His kids are more important than the pathological relationship he has with his wife.

Answer 2

What you are describing is not so much a mental illness, as the Empty Nest Syndrome. Her children are in college, they don't seem to need a mom any more, and all of a sudden, her life seems meaningless. A job is one solution -- someone is going to pay her to perform work of some type, even menial work, and that is validating her worth. Of course she leaves the job, because menial jobs aren't that interesting.
There are better solutions.
If her kids are in college, and she isn't educated, why not go to college herself and take a course or two? She doesn't have to go to the same college as her kids, if that would embarrass either of them, but she could choose a course in whatever sounds interesting to her. Take music lessons, learn to play an instrument, sign up for dance courses. The options are limitless.
She could involve herself in volunteer work. There are agencies, like employment agencies only dedicated to volunteers, who help place volunteers in interesting positions where they perform valuable and much appreciated work. They can work as few or as many hours as they are prepared to give.
Her family can support her in either of these initiatives, praise her for her accomplishments, and make her feel that she's still a worthwhile person, not just someone left behind when everyone else goes out to do something interesting.
She's probably on the cusp of menopause as well, and that isn't going to help make her feel any better about the situation. Talk to a therapist if you wish, to get confirmation, but right now what she desperately needs is to feel that she, as a person, isn't just an anonymous cypher who doesn't contribute anything to the family or to the community.
You sound like a very caring BIL. Bless you.

Answer 3

Sounds more like she is running away. Some people who have serious issues stemming from childhood react this way. Also it may be a self esteem issue. Many people with problems with self esteem are always quitting jobs, moving, and have other odd behaviors . They are wanting so badly to fit in that they will go to extremes. I would suggest trying to get her to open up to you and see what underlying issues she may have. Then again some people are normal and just want to obtain something they think is bigger and better. If you can the best thing to do to help her is just be there for her and try not to be judgmental in front of her. Good Luck and God Bless.

Answer 4

It sounds like she is running away from her problems. When she moves south nothing is going to be different. She will still be unhappy and force her family to move again. It seems like you caught onto what she is doing and you need to talk to her about what you feel. Have her family sit down and talk to her and take the necessary steps to get her into counseling to find out why she is doing this and maybe what she is afraid of and running from. It cant be good for her family either, seeing that they will have to make new friends and that can take time and her husband will have to relocate his job, so she definately needs help and support to overcome this. Hope this helps!

Answer 5

Your friend probably should seek psychological counseling first, then if the Psychologist thinks it is more, then a Psychiatrist for medical help. I'm a Gemini. I talk to myself out loud and answer myself all day long. You friend needs to understand, with the help of you, that it is IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to read their mind. So tell him or her to relax about that. That is more along the lines of paranoia, and it doesn't belong in the everyday world. Also, talking to empty chairs is "make-believe". Yeah, it is excessive, but I'm not sure it belongs to a personality disorder. It isn't normal, but I'm not sure how destructive. The voices inside his/her head can be a schizophrenia disorder, and that's the part your friend needs to talk to the Psychologist about. I would have your friend take a list to a Psychologist to review. See what is reasoned out, and what is valid. He/She may have a couple of items unresolved in one setting with a Psychologist, but I think the list will be much smaller.

Answer 6

Depression can cause this type of behavior, but it is not for certain. The best thing that you can do is check out what options that you have in your area for counseling and pass on the information to your brother. Trying to make her go will just make things bad between the two of you. It has to be her decision. And it isn't a good idea to bring it up out of the blue -- you have to ease into it.

Answer 7

YES, THAT DOES SOUND LIKE A FORM OF DEPRESSION OR A MOOD DISORDER. SIT DOWN AND TALK WITH HER. SHE NEEDS TO REALIZE THAT NO MATTER WHERE SHE MOVES, SHE WILL ALWAYS BE UNHAPPY UNLESS SHE GETS TO THE BOTTOM OF THE REAL ISSUES AT HAND!! THE FAMILY CAN HELP HER BY TAKING HER TO A THERAPIST IF SHE'S WILLING TO GO. IT WOULD DO HER SO MUCH GOOD!! IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE NEEDS TO TALK TO SOMEONE. SHE MAY EVEN NEED TO BE PUT ON A MEDICATION. WHO KNOWS. BUT THE THERAPIST OR DOCTORS WILL FIGURE THAT OUT. THEY WILL GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THINGS. IT'S GOOD THAT HER HUSBAND HAS BEEN PATIENT FOR THIS LONG. GOOD LUCK. I HOPE THIS HELPED.

Answer 8

To answer your question-yes,this is mental illness. As for a solution to the problem, this is going to be up to the family to convince her to get help. Good luck.

Answer 9

Not sure what it is, but it definitely sounds like something if she keeps quitting jobs that quickly. Depression is probably related.

Answer 10

buy dr phils book
or go see a therapist if u can afford it