Me and my GF have been dating for about a month when she told me she kisses her (male) friends hi and good-bye on the lips. she told me its just the way she is and its nto a big deal. and that i'm not gonna change her and if i loved her it woudn't be a big deal. and also that her ex didn't think its a big deal. anyway after a night of arguing about it that ended in her ahging up on me, then next day we talked and she said she woudln't kiss her friends anymore. my questions are
1) does anyone agree with her thinking its not a big deal?
2) is taht normal
3) am i out of line for telling her to stop
4) can i trust her?
5) i don't know if i can get over the fact she's been doing it for a month. it really bothers me. should i for get about it since she didn't think it was a big deal and said she would stop?
any help would be greatly appreciated.
2006-11-10 16:42:29 · 22 answers · asked by DA-LL /Male/ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
to answer some of your guys questions
1) she said she did it in front of me, i didn't notice it though. i might have been on the phone when it happened and wans't paying attention
2)yes she is mexican. and she isn't exactll form mexico but lives 15 minutes form the border and was raised heavily on mexican tradition and is very cultural. were kinda like the movie fools rush in lol
3) she said she would stop since it mean so much to me
4) yes i care about her
5)she said she would be ok with me kissing my female friends good-bye.
2006-11-10 16:57:17 · update #1
That is a big deal. It's not normal, unless she's a player. You're right for telling her how you feel about it and if she loved you, she would respect that and stop. You can sort of trust her, but you have to ask yourself do you trust her after this. I mean she was honest enough to tell you.
2006-11-10 16:52:06 · answer #1 · answered by Ladybug 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not ok and you are right to feel awkward about it. It's really strange that she does that and let me tell you that it brings down any kind of limits she might have towards her friends or any special treatment she should give you for being her boyfriend. Try to persuade her not to do it anymore. It has nothing to do with loving her or not. You are not trying to change her, you are just trying to have a normal relationship. You can try and trust her but if she betrays that trust, don't pursue her anymore, 'cause the lack of trust is gonna hurt the relationship. Ask her if she would be ok if you kissed all your girl friends on the lips too. What's next? Sleeping with your best friends? C'mon man, it is a big deal. If she doesn't stop, people might start thinking she is an easy girl or something worse and I'm sure you don't want that. Good luck!
2006-11-11 00:52:11 · answer #2 · answered by Horumaket 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think there is anything wrong with her kissing her male friend on the lips. If it is just a litle peck, that is just a friendly kiss and nothing wrong with it if they are fine with it. As far as between you two, again you all need to find a median and be happy as long as the others are happy.
2 &3) As far as being normal or out of line, again its between how the relationship is and if its only a freindly gesture then its fine. You both may be looing at the same thing from two differetn perspecitives and together you can see both sides and decide the best course of action for you all.
4) Only you can answer if you can trust her, I don see her doing anything that compromises your frioendship, but if there is more info on this, then that may change it. You both need to talk it out and maybe give each other more infomration as to how you all feel about it and what to do about it.
5) It have have been only a harmless event and your thinking too much into it. If she has decided to quit for you it may be over and she may have seen she did something wrong, so just let it go and get your friendship back in tone and learn from it. Thats what communication is for, if your firend upsets you somehow, talk to them about and think about and see what comes from it. It may only be a misunderstanding. Good Luck
2006-11-11 11:17:12 · answer #3 · answered by kevin T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, the writing is on the wall...this chick is a professional heart breaker. She is probably hot and well worth the pain, but just know the small bit of pain you've felt so far is only the beginning.
No, it is not normal. Can you name anyone else you know that kisses guy friends on the lips. Not appropriate.
You can't trust her, she will crush you sooner than later. Put things into perspective that you don't own this chick, she is a free spirit and you are only a part time boy toy. Enjoy the ride, but you can only do so by accepting that that is all your relationship with this bimbo will ever be.
2006-11-11 00:55:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would bother me if my boyfriend did that or even if one of my female friends did that to other guys. You need to explain to her why it is offensive towards you and that if she really wanted what was best for you, which she should if she truly loves you, she would stop. You also need to put yourself in her shoes. I just hope she gives a very good explanation as to why she isn't going to budge. On the other hand, I do not think it is worth ending a relationship over. If you end a relationship on those grounds, I would assume that your relationship wasn't headed anywhere serious in the first place. Good luck!
2006-11-11 00:47:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You only have a month into the relationship and your allready fighting.... I would suggest you cut your losses and move on.. You will see that once she changes for you it wont be the same she will always hold this over you and if you ever like to do something she dont like and you dont want to change she will keep bringing this up.... Cut it off and remain frineds befor you end up hurting each other.....
2006-11-11 00:50:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is a big deal in many other countries that is how they say hello and goodbye. If it bothers you then you were not out of line to ask her to stop. Give her another chance to find out if you can trust her or not. She cared enough to stop doing it for you.
2006-11-11 00:51:07 · answer #7 · answered by barbie2 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dude u arent doing anything wrong but u asked her u didnt "tell" her which means ur not the bad guy (atleast i think u asked her not told her). Anyways i wouldnt like it but there aint much u can do about it.
2006-11-11 00:54:01 · answer #8 · answered by Epidemic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) it is not a big deal....in europe they do it all the time...
2) normal...maybe not for you but in europe it is...
3) yes you are out of the line...she told you and as long it sticks to just friends...it should be ok
4) trust her...now if she kisses people she does not know or just met then question her.
5) if she offered to stop why are u complaining? b
oh yah does she do it to her friends when you are around?? if so DONT WORRY
2006-11-11 00:50:08 · answer #9 · answered by Tascha 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hugging a guy friend is one thing but kissing them on the lips..I wouldn't like that either.And no i don't think you were out of line
2006-11-11 00:46:26 · answer #10 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋