34 years ago at age 12, my brother-in-law molested me twice. He now has a granddaugther. Should I tell?

Answer 1

Yes you should. I know you don't want anything to happen to that little girl. You're probably not the only one he molested.

Answer 2

Hello!! :o) First off - I am very sorry to hear that you were molested. That should never have happened. And I hope that you know - without a doubt - that you were absolutely, completely blameless. Many victims of sexual abuse go through life wondering what it was that THEY DID that CAUSED them to be abused. But I promise you - a child is NEVER at fault for being abused. [Sexually or otherwise] As for what you should do now.... well.... a lot of people have already said that you should tell. But who?! Who do you tell?! For years now - you have kept the abuse buried deep down inside of you. Perhaps because you felt ashamed. [Unnecessarily so] But now that you see that a very real possibility exists for another innocent little girl to be abused - you feel you ought to do something. And I think you should follow that feeling. Perhaps the time has come for YOU to deal with YOUR abuse. You have lived with this long enough. And if the worry of that little granddaughter being abused is giving you the courage to come out from the shadows - then I say... that's GREAT!! The very first thing you should do - I think - is talk to a counselor who deals specifically with sexual abuse. They will [most likely] know what steps should be taken. I wish you all the luck in the world with this. And although 'things' will [at first] become much worse for you [having to relive the past and deal with the inevitable emotional responses brought on by being open and honest] it will be a giant step forward in a long overdue healing process. [And as a bonus - it just might help keep that little granddaughter from having to go through what you have gone through all these years] Take very good care of yourself. Craig!! :o)

Answer 3

of course. you cant let him near his granddaughter if he's still perverted. what the hell were you thinking keeping it in this long? molestation is a serious crime that shouldnt be kept a seceret. that was 34 years ago, though. it depends how old he is. you are a big girl now, (im sorry you are making it sound like you are a woman) you need to infer if he is likely to make the same decision to molest his granddaughter or not. im sorry you had to go through that, that is a terrible thing at a young age. good luck.

Answer 4

Yes, Yes A thousand times yes. But be prepared for the backlash from family members. My son came to me last December and told me his uncle had molested him I made it known to family members and started the process for the police to track his worthless butt down. When I informed family members my son was accused of lying, I was accused of lying and those were the high points out of a group of 65 relatives (i counted) 2 cousins and a Aunt by marriage speak to us the rest act like we don't exist some of which live four miles away. Once we go to trial it will probably only get worse. Honestly I do not care they have to face themselves in the mirror. I don't have any problems with it.
My son now goes to counseling 2 times a week it helps but he will never get back what he lost

Answer 5

You need to consider this:

It was 34 years ago. He's an old man now, and probably not the same man he was then

This will be catastrophic to your family. Do you REALLY think he's going to molest his grandaughter someday? If you REALLY do think so, then tell someone who can do something about it. If not, ask yourself who you're doing this for. The grandaughter, or yourself?

Answer 6

LISTEN TO ME.................If you can do it,teach the grandaughter about telling someone if she is being touched in a wrong way as fast as you can get to her.Take her out for ice cream or something and talk to her in an adult manner but as a child would understand. Teach her a signal to tell only you if this does by chance happen.

Answer 7

Do you want that to happen to his granddaughter? If not then you should say something. Or at least keep a watchful eye as you will know if he does it to her. And you will finally get the validation you needed as 12 year old.

Answer 8

you need to tell, I'm sure you don't want anything to happen to that baby. if you don't tell and something happens then your going to feel terrible. he has probably did this kind of thing to people close to you also, or to anybody for that fact.
this is a sickness that people do have. and then the victims will remain quiet and scared or you don't want to tell because it will hurt and involve people that you love. But the truth needs to come out. protect this child we don't need another victim in our society

Answer 9

Do you think he is molesting his granddaughter? If he did this terrible thing to you then more than likely he is doing it to someone else. YES TELL

Answer 10

heck no. don't tell the poor thing. It can sharply damage your relationship with her or scare her to death which could result in many other mental disorders.

I would file up a lawsuit, get the best lawyer in town, or find some constuctive way to get her away from him. No child deserves to be around psycho maniacs like him.