I am interested in hearing from parents, freshmen, and others. What do you suggest the curfew be when our daughter comes home for a weekend stay. She is 18, a freshman at college and comes home to visit for a weekend every couple of months. What time should we say she should be home?
2006-11-10 16:09:53 · 13 answers · asked by David McMath 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I'm a junior in college, and I have to admit the first thing I thought was "Curfew?! She's an adult; treat her like one!" But then I realized that my reaction was probably from the fact that I've never had a curfew. (I was so into studying that my mom wanted to see me go out and have fun, and I lived in a small town with virtually no crime and where the sidewalks rolled up at 10 pm, so it wasn't unreasonable.)
I can understand wanting to keep her safe and everything. After all, just a few months ago she was still living under your roof full-time. She's your baby, so it's hard to see the woman she's becoming! The adjustment is difficult on both ends. But the only time she sees some of her high school friends might be when they're home on the same weekend. She'll want to catch up with them, and she should be able to do that.
Consider her curfew before she moved to college. Unless it was already very generous (like 1 or 2 am), moving it back by a couple of hours shows you recognize she's becoming more mature and can handle herself. If it was already generous, you obviously trust her quite a bit, so maybe you could eliminate the need for a curfew altogether. Either way, to help protect her safety and your peace of mind, have her call to check in before you go to bed for the night.
2006-11-10 20:22:05 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents guidelines are the following: as long as I live at home and their paying the tab for my education then a respectful time to be in is 12:00, which I agree with. Anything later than that leads to trouble, and if it helps any I am a junior in college. Besides without my parents I wouldn't be where I am today.So you can definitely believe in the last 3 years I haven't missed one curfew and you know I'm not going to.
2006-11-10 16:35:42 · answer #2 · answered by H Town Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, since she is 18 and doesn't live with you, I woldn't advice giving her a curfew at all. You could ask her to call you if she isn't going to be back that night or let her know that the door will be locked at a certain time and after that she will need to find somewhere else to stay for the night. If you are too strict with her, she probably will stop coming home at all.
2006-11-11 06:15:55 · answer #3 · answered by hargonagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was in college, my parents officially set my curfew at midnight. It was actually my dad's idea; my mother thought it should have been 11:00. If I called to let them know where I was and what I was planning to do, they would occasionally let me stay out later depending on the reason. After I turned 20 they more or less dropped the curfew thing altogether, although they still asked me to call and check in so that they wouldn't worry.
2006-11-10 16:27:01 · answer #4 · answered by AshletD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends where she is going - if going to a movie at 10:00pm an hour or so after the movie should be sufficient. If she is going to a club dancing or something they usually close at 2am. Give her enough time after that to drive home. I think honestly at 18 years old 1 or 2am would be a "reasonable" curfew.
2006-11-10 18:36:32 · answer #5 · answered by dmommab@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im 24 years old and I think that at 18 years old to respect the fact that she lives in your home when she visits she should be back home around 12 30 - 1 am
2006-11-10 16:14:04 · answer #6 · answered by tinkerbelle_oceane 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was a freshman in college (I'm now 25) and went home on weekends, I had to be in by 2am. My parents said their house, their rules and I respected that. Once I was 21...they didn't care when I came in.
2006-11-10 16:32:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not,She is legally of age,But you can say ,it would make your mom a nd me ral happy if you would be home between1:00-2:00,A.M. Other wise guess what,Your visit from her are gona be less and less!Sorry but its the truth,i have a soon to be 16 yr.old daughter and a 17 yr.old Son,and they totaly listen to me and respect me because i treat them like young adults that they are and i give then the chance to make the right decision!Good luck,hollywood
2006-11-10 16:22:55 · answer #8 · answered by hollywood 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's an adult she may even decide not to come home at night if she meets someone, just tell her you'd like her to be home by 2AM but if she's not comming home or will be later to call. Remember she does not have to come home at all if she does not want to.
2006-11-11 00:46:09 · answer #9 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at least 1:30-2 am. Think about it this way...she can stay at school over the weekend and stay our as long as she wants, so you dont want to be too strict.
2006-11-10 17:10:15 · answer #10 · answered by prudentzeta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋