so we just decided to just be friends, but i wasnt over her yet..within a week after that i never called her at all, or call her back only when she calls me..even when i see her from afar, i no longer approach her and go somewhere else to avoid her...ive made the best of my time away from her...making new friends and hobbies...sometimes i feel guilty tho...i think she really wanted to be friends, but im afraid to get hurt so i avoid her..is this right???
2006-11-10 15:37:43 · 26 answers · asked by vincent m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we never really had a relationship..we just realized we have no chemistry but i still had those feelings...
2006-11-10 15:46:13 · update #1
You are not doing anything wrong. You may be better out without her. I have have a friend I have kept for too long.. I started ignoring him and like you said, I also felt guilty. However, I noticed that I am doing the right thing by letting go. Just do what you feel is right and don't blame it on yourself. Let go of your looses. that's life. Good luck
2006-11-10 15:41:10 · answer #1 · answered by Kaitlyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you were right. It's really hard to be friends with someone that you had an intimate relationship with. Being friends right after the end of a relationship just seems to prolong all of the drama and feelings involved. It was also really good for you to gain new hobbies and friends. That is a good step to take to move on. Maybe when you feel like the bitter or painful feelings are gone and you can be around her without feeling vulnerable, you two can be friends. Until then, keep doing what you are doing. Deep down, she would understand why you are avoiding her.
2006-11-10 15:43:07 · answer #2 · answered by *mxgirl115* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give yourself a break...you know how you felt for her, and it takes time to get over that. Some people just can't be friends after a relationship, and that's a fact of life. It's good that you've been able to move on, a lot of people have problems with that. You shouldn't feel guilty for that. Friends sometimes aren't "close",
I don't think I could ever be friends with my current bf if we broke up...too many memories, and too much temptation to go back and open myself up to being hurt again.
Maybe when you find someone who exceeds what you had with her, you will be able to put it all behind you and be comfortable with the idea of friendship...it takes time.
2006-11-10 15:49:09 · answer #3 · answered by suziq 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We do what we must to protect ourselves. I think you must love her very much and the "friendship" would only prolong your agony. How can you pretend you don't care for her deeply? How can you not tell her you love her ? But on the other hand, how can she enjoy your friendship without all the baggage? She does care for you but it's not love. Is there a middle ground? Is there some place the two of you can reach that will allow you both the enjoyment of the other's company on the level you need? Probably not at this time.
I think you need some time apart for you to heal. But you do owe her an explanation. She needs to understand that you need to refocus but you don't despise her.
Wait a couple of days to be sure of how you feel and then call her and explain that you just need some time. Don't make it dramatic, just tell her you are having trouble adjusting to the friendship status and you need a month to recharge.
2006-11-10 15:43:46 · answer #4 · answered by AK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand that you are trying to not get hurt and its all right to feel this way but at the same time, if you agreed to be friends with her then perhaps you can try to be her friend. I know where you are coming from this because after being in a relationship for almost 4 years with a guy, we decided to just be friends because we live so far away from each other now(Cali, Florida, due to college), and although its painful for us to be just friends we know that we are not going to let our relationship stand in the way of us not being friends at all.. We are both afraid to get hurt but we know that we must be there for one another. I hope this helps and best of luck. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to im me and I would love to help you!
2006-11-10 15:43:04 · answer #5 · answered by Babygurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well.. your question does not seem clear to me...
If she is 'dumping' you and wanting to only be 'friends' then it is within your full right to not want to talk to her...
but don't maliciously ignore her.. that is immature. Just speak to her and tell her that you can't be friends right now and that you hope she understands. As time goes by the hello you give her might grow to a how are you.. etc etc
good luck :-)
2006-11-10 15:42:45 · answer #6 · answered by Trudy Bell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why u avoiding her what she do o what is there something she did but anyways well if u feel guilty that u are avoiding here then don't do it maybe cuz u might feel something for her you never know well just do what you think is right.
2006-11-10 15:44:51 · answer #7 · answered by *~Baby GiggleZ 15~* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do not feel anything for her, then better avoid cos she might get hurt. If you like her and she is also, then why do you avoid, dont be selfish. You wont get hurt if you are really honest towards her.
2006-11-10 15:42:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, this isn't right of you at all. you should still befriend with her. If you do not want to see her get hurt, i would reccomend actually talking to her, like a friend again, & not just ignore her. Maybe your friendship can turn into something =]
2006-11-10 15:41:29 · answer #9 · answered by CC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry about what im going to say, but take it like a man, your immature, if you cared about her, you would approach her, maybe she thinks she did something wrong and blames herself, how would you feel? huh? just think about it, its not very nice to be treated like dirt, if she wants to be friends, you have to respect that, maybe she had to break up for a reason, still has feelings for you, and doesnt want to lose you in her life, so just talk to her, it might hurt you, but think about her
2006-11-10 15:45:49 · answer #10 · answered by Mooshak 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋