She is always saying something rude or insulting, but with a smile and then laughing about it and touching your shoulder like she's joking. It's very passive agressive and annoying. She told me to be nice to a customer, in front of the customer, which made me look like I had "nice" issues. I was infuriated and she didn't speak to me the rest of the night becuase I told her that "I'm always nice", in front of the same customer(not always the truth, but I am to customers) She is always making some snide remark, then laughing like someone thinks she's funny. What can i do for my own safety & job security, to thwart her issues? I feel like I'm going to go off on her at some point soon! it's not personal, because she does this to everyone.
2006-11-10 14:36:59 · 20 answers · asked by mikayla2929 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You sound a tad sensitive
2006-11-10 15:29:23 · answer #1 · answered by Gorilla 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Talk to her about it. She may not realize that she is bothering you (that is probably *not* the case, but you never know). If that doesn't fix it, do the same thing back to her and she will start to realize that it isn't much fun to be made fun of, especially in front of customers.
Also, try to remember that most people (ie customers) can see that *she* is the rude one, and will often feel bad for you because she is making an *** of herself.
I had a boss once who berated me in front of a customer, and the customer went out and bought me a little bouquet of flowers to try to *make up* for the fact that they had seen me get my butt busted for something I hadn't even done.
2006-11-11 03:05:31 · answer #2 · answered by Lucie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a lady colleague who did that quite often to me when I was much younger. She even called me her "side-kick" and really "kicked me" often by making fun of me in front of other mutual friends.
One day I couldn't take it anymore. I called her up on the phone as soon as I reached home, fuming mad about the insults she threw at me earlier on, jokingly, just like you described.
I told her in a firm tone " S. F. (her initials) , I'm very hurt and angry by what you said just now . Please don't do it anymore because the next time it happens, I'll not hesitate to tell you off infront of everyone. "
She apologised immediately and it never happened again. We're still friend till today.
When you don't "tell ppl off in private", for their wrong treatment of you, you're actually indirectly giving others the license to step all over you. Don't tolerate it any longer, Miss.
Pull the culprits aside one at a time and tell them exactly how you feel.
Chances are high that they'll tone down or stop altogether.
2006-11-10 23:24:41 · answer #3 · answered by Toshihiro 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I agree with cupidgirl, but first Id talk to this coworker and let her know that you don't know enjoy her snide remarks regardless of how sincere she may or may not be. If that doesn't resolve the issue I would go to management and discuss the issue further. Good Luck!
2006-11-10 22:45:46 · answer #4 · answered by docboom2386 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This woman seemingly has emotional problems that she is taking out on everyone. If she does this to everyone then I'm sure you are not the only one annoyed by this boorish behavior. I'm really not sure how to handle this other than to ignore it. Telling her won't help. I wonder if as a group you could all tell her kindly that her behavior is really not appreciated by anyone. Let her know that all of you really want to be her friends if she will just let you. I doubt that she has any real friends now.
2006-11-10 22:46:16 · answer #5 · answered by papricka w 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She provably does this for 1 of 3 reasons.(1)she thinks she is being funny (2) she likes you and does not want to say it in case you reject her (self defense) (3) she does not like you and wants to make you look bad. But since she is smiling and touching you i would think it would be one of the first 2. I live with someone who thinks they are funny and believe me IT IS NOTTTTT.
2006-11-11 05:31:18 · answer #6 · answered by kay.ce 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to address the issue with your co-worker with a supervisor, upper management, humans resources. Anyone that can handle the situation. And do it quick before you do go off on her. She is obviously a very immature individual lacking self esteem and this makes her feel better about her self in some strange way. Good luck and God bless
2006-11-11 17:13:27 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
this is a pattern shes picked up from childhood from one of her parents putting her down a little as a way to curb her so pull her into ameeting with the supervisor and tell her in front of them that shes gonna mess up sales and sells with this sniper pattern on your sales floor tell her to stop in front of the boss and then warn the others not to take it
2006-11-10 22:47:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's just being passive aggressive like you said. She's probably insecure with herself and tries to rip on others to make herself look better.
2006-11-10 22:45:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be pleasant and nice to her, do a better job that she does and just remember she's an insecure (insert your own word here) and is probably doing it because she doesn't like herself and has to bring everyone down to her level.
2006-11-10 22:48:25 · answer #10 · answered by heath m 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
address the issue w/ management. there's no reason why you should have to feel uncomfortable at (or leave) your job because of a rude ***** like that.
2006-11-10 22:41:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋