We have over 500 employees where i work at. and each department always has their own parties for the holidays. i work in HR so I get invited to a lot of the depts. parties. but there is this one girl that works with me in HR that always tags along eventhough i explained to her that they only invited me. How can I tell her STRAIGHT OUT without sounding mean or rude?
2006-11-10 14:12:50 · 19 answers · asked by nina 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It's not really a matter of me not wanting her there. She's good people. But I can't take her with me when I've been invited and she hasn't. I think if they would have wanted her there then they would have invited her personally. What if they don't want her there?
2006-11-10 14:56:11 · update #1
i don't tell her i'm going. i never do because i don't want to hurt her feelings. she usually just finds out the day of the party
2006-11-10 14:59:35 · update #2
say that the invite didn't include any guests, and you don't want to be rude to the host... that way it deflects any rudeness on your part that the tagalong may perceive.
2006-11-10 14:19:13 · answer #1 · answered by leer 3 · 14⤊ 1⤋
In a work place that has over 500 employees are you really sure that you cannot have this employee go with you? If this is an informal gathering then it should be ok for her to come along. Are you sure it isn't just that you personally do not want her to come with you? If that is the case why not be a kinder, more compassionate person and let her enjoy the party also. If it is a reservation, more formal party then of course just explain the situation to her. I'm sure she will understand.
2006-11-10 22:34:57 · answer #2 · answered by papricka w 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She wouldn't know you were going if you didn't tell her, so, don't tell her! And if the invitation is given when she is present, then someone is displaying very bad manners (you don't invite one person and not the other if both are taking part in the conversation) or the other girl isn't a tag-along but is included in your invitation.
2006-11-10 22:25:00 · answer #3 · answered by old lady 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that all you need to do is tell her there will only be seating for a certain number and that you are not entitled to bring a guest. Tell her that you and her can do something fun together after the holidays to make up for this. If you are not interested in having a friendship you can just leave that part off, and just be very formal when talking with her in the future. The only person being rude here is this girl who seems to invite herself where she is not welcome.
2006-11-10 22:36:22 · answer #4 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like to me there is some kinda problem you may not be addressing and that's why you don't want her to tag a long. If she is a nice person then let the dept know that is giving the party that she will be with you unless they don't want her there. Why make a mountain out of this...........Tis the season to be giving and loving to all men............and women...............
2006-11-11 03:40:25 · answer #5 · answered by purrfectsandcastle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she in any way cause inconveniece to you or what ?
If she's pleasant as you, why should it bother you so much ?
She may be subtly wanting to get close to you for some reason.
I know of ppl who like to tag along with me 'coz they like me and like to be seen with me. (my kids like to do that when they were younger coz they love me and I love them too)
If you can't stand her or just don't like her, just speak the truth.
Say to her, " Miss, this invitation is for me alone and I'll appreciate if you don't tag along. If they wanted you to be there, they'll include your name." Then smile sweetly at her.
I'm sure she'll get the message and not feel that offended.
Depends on how you approach it. Whatever it is, you need to be honest. "Speak the truth in love." :=)
2006-11-10 22:44:26 · answer #6 · answered by Toshihiro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your party........You weren't the one doing the inviting. It's not your place to make her see her error in assumption.
Go to the party, let those doing the inviting tell her.
2006-11-10 22:27:23 · answer #7 · answered by momwithabat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if you don't tell her and she just shows up that has nothing to do with you personally. You are not taking her to the party, so I would not worry about it. Some one will eventually tell her and then she will get the message. God bless
2006-11-11 17:19:01 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Could you not tell her that you would prefer her to check with the hosts before she tags along as on previous occasions they didn't look to impressed with you for bringing an uninvited guest?
2006-11-11 03:40:16 · answer #9 · answered by salstick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her go, and be sent away by the hosts. Or else, throw hints at her, like "Who exactly invited you?" I know this looks rude, but you can ask it in a neutral even friendly way. Intonation is meaningful.
2006-11-10 22:18:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her that she needs to contact the host or hostess to check if she's been invited.
2006-11-10 22:45:14 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋