Are you ready for some funny jokes? These are great. Plz let me know what you think and enjoy.?

Question

Q. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
>
> >A. Ask your mother.
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> >Q. How do you embarrass an archeologist?
>
> >A. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
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> >Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
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> >A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
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> >Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
>
> >A. Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb.
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> >Q. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
>
> >A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
>
> >driving.
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> >Q. What is the biggest problem for an atheist?
>
> >A. No one to talk to during orgasm.

> >Q. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's butt?
>
> >A. A mechanic!

> >Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
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> >A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen
>
> >donuts.
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> >Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
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> >A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!
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> >Q. How can you tell which is the head nurse?
>
> >A. The one with the dirty knees.
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> >Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
>
> >A. A battery has a positive side.

> >Q. Three words women hate to hear when having sex A. "Honey, I'm home!"
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> >Q. Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?
>
> >A. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy

> >Q. When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in
>
> >his sleep.
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> >A. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
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> >Q. How can you tell a macho women?
>
> >A. She rolls her own tampons.
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> >Q: What's the leading cause of death among lesbians?
>
> >A: Hair balls.

>
> >Q: Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
>
> >A: Because Kermit loves sweet and sour pork.

Answer 1

Grandfather joke was great!!

Answer 2

Well, I've heard these all before. Not so funny the second time around. But I did like the one about the nudist colony.

Answer 3

Nice, never seen it before, will give you a clean joke Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the fairway but rolled directly toward a water trap. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound. Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water trap. It landed directly in the center of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the pond and chipped it up onto the green. The third guy got up and sort of randomly whacked the ball. It headed out over the fence and into on-coming traffic on a nearby street. It bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there it bounced onto the roof of a nearby shack and rolled down into the gutter, down the downspout, out onto the fairway and right toward the same pond. On the way to the pond, it hit a little stone and bounced out o ver the water, onto a lily pad where it rested quietly. Suddenly, a very large bullfrog jumped up on the lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth. Just then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they pass over the green, the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball, which bounced right into the hole for a beautiful hole in one. Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your Dad.

Answer 4

Best ones were the nudist jokes.

Answer 5

Yeah i heard a couple before but their still funny

Answer 6

Nice....I like the granfather joke the best.

Answer 7

I didn't get much of a laugh out of those

Answer 8

I thought you said theese were FUNNY!

Answer 9

too many recycles joke... some were clever

Answer 10

no effense,but those jokes sucked......i could do A LOT better......