My father past away 4months ago and my mother move in with us?

Question

She is in a wheelchair and use a walker in the house to get around.She is 83 years old and my problem is we are trying to adopt anther child.we have 2 children now 7 and 12 years of age .We are about to get a sibling group.My mother totaly do not want us to have more children.She do not like noise and kids running about.she is used to quite.I love kids and wait to go ahead with the adoption but see said she would move out but see is ill and has no one to look after her and I love her and wants her to stay.I also want to adopt.what should I do?

Answer 1

that's a tough question.. your mother is old and let her be happy in her remaning days here on earth. so i say adopt a child but not now. it can wait anyway. but if you really want to, you have to do something to lessen the noise in your house so your mother wont get irritated..

Answer 2

Only you can make that decision but you must, unfortunately, take into consideration that your mother is quite old & won't be around much longer.

I believe that you should look ahead to the future. If you want a child and put it off, you will always regret it. Your child would give you great joy & you would be, literally, changing a child's life for the better.

It's sad when a parent gets old. It sounds as though your mother would need to go into assisted living. I know it's expensive but check with welfare to see if she would be eligible for financial assistance & where she could go. If you or she belongs to a church they may be able to help you.

Perhaps instead of assisted living she might be able to live in a retirement home. Every single person I know of who has done that doesn't regret it & they wish they had done so earlier.

Many retirement homes provide a meal a day (delivered by Meals on Wheels or whatever you have locally). They have coffee & doughnuts every morning. There are volunteers to take her to appts & buses for field trips. She would have her peace & quiet & companionship w/people her age.

It will take some effort & looking but you would feel better for it both because you would know your mother is being taken care of (& you could still help) & you would be able to adopt a new member to your household.

You have some tough decisions to make & neither is easy. God be with you.

Answer 3

Just go ahead to adopt the child and maybe as time goes by she may also love the child too. I think she is afraid that you will be too tired to look after so many children including she herself who
is on the wheelchair. Just assure her that you can manage everything and ask her not to worry. Then maybe she will agree.

Answer 4

it is understandable that your mother doesn't want the noise in the house since she is so old and stuff. however she needs to repect the fact that it is your home and your dream to have a house full of children. i think it is awesome that you have the means and capability to take on a task like this. i think you should go ahead with the adoption.

Answer 5

Its your house and your family first, then your mother. You have every right to have as many children as you and your wife want. I can understand that she likes it quiet, but if she chooses to live under your roof then she needs to follow your rules, just like when you were little in her home. She can either stay or not, that is her choice, but you should go ahead with your plans for your own happiness.

Answer 6

well you msut decide which is more important to you..your mother or your family? i know you love your mother and want to take care of her...but she must also understand your point of views and respcet your decision..if youre mother wishes to move out then maybe you should let her..dont feel guilty about it..you can have a nurse take care of her needs..or have her move close to you so that you can keep an eye on her..also you might try and postpone adopting until after she has passed..sounds harsh but just an idea..good luck

Answer 7

I wrote this after my father died, l hope it helps.

My Dad

My dearest dad 'I love you',
I think of you each day.
I feel your arms around me,
that's how I get through my days.

Your looking down upon me,
to guide me on my way,
but its very hard without you,
each and every single day.

People always tell me,
the grieving will subside.
But how can I feel better,
without you by my side.

No matter how hard they try,
there is always so much pain,
I am all consumed by thinking,
It will never, be the same.

I know one day we'll meet,
in the Heavens up above.
It's the only thing that helps me,
to never forget, your love.

My dearest Dad, I love you,
Your with me every day.
I will keep this love within me,
forever, until that beautiful day.

By: Kenny P. aka- Cobra

Answer 8

This sounds cold, but you have your own life to live. You and your family need to be happy.

Or you could just wait a year or 2. It is really your call. Count the blessings in your life and the right answer will come to you!

Answer 9

i will be bruetly honest with you. it sounds as if your mother has always been rather controlling and demading. I can't imgine someone saying that!..This is YOUR life..your dreams, you desires and wants. She has no say whatso ever if you want more children!..Why not suggest a seniors apartment for her..or a care home?..She can have her quiet times..and you can still be with her when you want. But..you need to be able to live your life, without hearing her tell you she thinks its wrong..or it doesnt work well with her. You deserve to live your life...she deseveres to have her life...it can be worked out.

Answer 10

That is nice you having your mother but your dreams need to come true. There is a home it aint a nursing home I aint forsure what it is called but they can take care of them selves and have their own room snd can leave anytime they want to and youcan go see her anytime you want to. Check in to that. Don't let your dreams go. And your mom needs to respect you and your desions and your dreams Good Luck I hope all works out for you