I really love her but at times I really feel like running. I think I am the only one in the relationship who is concerned and very stressed over it. It's not my debt and I really would never help pay for any of it. Also, she has nothing to show for any of the debt. Please help!
2006-11-10 12:04:05 · 10 answers · asked by zephyr_0_8 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I hate to say this to you but it sounds to me like she is in no shape to get married. Unless you are rich and can help her debt go away in a matter of a year or two I would strongly suggest that you break things off. Based on your information and her earning potential she will never be able to pay off her debt. Her best course of action would be a debt consolidation loan and hopefully live with her parents so that she can put almost everything she makes towards her debt. In reality she is probably heading for bankruptcy, if not now, in a few years. Apart from student loans the only way someone can build up that kind of debt is through irresponcible habits, and this is where your relationship comes in. In marriage you are planning a life with a person and you need a stable foundation on which to build from... two people with nothing can grow and share but in your case you are going to be starting things off with one foot in the financial grave. How about kids? Saving for a house? You can not do that the way things are. My advise is sit her down and get some professional financial help. If she is truly the one for you then I would make her this deal...
1) Stop accumulating debt.
2) Get professional help for debt reduction
3) Prolong your engagement until she has cut the debt in half
4) Teach her how to handle money.
Money is just like food... people that loose weight usually gain it back unless they change their lifestyle... people who swim in debt usually build it back up once the start paying it off unless they change their lifestyle and their attitudes about money.
I know that love is supposed to conquer all, but right now if you marry this woman you will not be hitching your wagon to her star, you will be hitching it to her anchor... this will effect the life you have and the future of your children.... the whole ball game. Work on reducing the debt and put marriage on hold. Not fun, but honest. Good Luck.
2006-11-10 12:24:49 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back to high school, then you'll start to make big bucks in a few years. It would help if you told us what type of job you have. If you work at a place like McDonald's, of course you're only going to get $6 an hour. If not 6, then maybe 7. It depends on how long you've worked there and if you've worked your way up to a dollar raise. You can't call the police LOL, they'll laugh in your face. Most 16 year olds get minimum wage, don't complain, at least you have a job.
2016-05-22 03:58:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Minimum wage is going up in Jan., take the extra $$ and apply to that debt. Maybe a debt counselor could help.
2006-11-10 12:12:57 · answer #3 · answered by candycrystal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest that she change jobs, perhaps working for a life insurance company because the money is crazy. The first year, she'll be making about 50-60 thousand and she'll get licensed and best of all, she'll be working about 4 hours per day. I am doing it now. And the starting pay while you are learning is 500/wk or so. you can email me.
2006-11-10 12:10:12 · answer #4 · answered by fan_wan :-) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if you can get her on a plan to start reducing the debt. If she can get her mind around that - then maybe it was just a little youthful indiscretion(ary spending). But if she can't even get on a plan to reduce the principle - you have a real problem my friend. Some people have real problems managing money and she is sounding pretty irresponsible.
2006-11-10 12:08:31 · answer #5 · answered by HomeSweetSiliconValley 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, grab a phone book.
Look for a Primerica financial services office in your area. If there isn't one, look them up on line for the closest office, and they will send you someone to help.
Seriously, these guys bailed out my Grandma's stuff and saved her a grip of money both long-term and over $400 per month to live on. These guys are really good.
2006-11-10 12:09:56 · answer #6 · answered by khanofali 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she needs to visit with a debt consolidation counselor. i had debt from before i was married and it was no where near what hers is. my hubby and i now have problems getting basic things because of it.
2006-11-10 12:07:41 · answer #7 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be ready because if you marry, this "debt" will become yours also to carry around for a log time and will influence many things you do.
2006-11-10 22:01:01 · answer #8 · answered by tom_fchs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just cancelled all my debts by saying "Debts, I release you!!!"
I never paid them,
And they never "caught up to me" like everyone said they would.
I just don't keep my money in el banko.
2006-11-10 12:10:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
She could declare bankruptcy.
It is her problem, not yours.
If it worries you more than her, that is your problem.
Wear the garment of life more loosely, dude.
2006-11-10 12:08:58 · answer #10 · answered by Richard E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋