how do i get my 23month old off his night bottle and get him to sleep in his own bed?

Question

he is stubborn as hell and a little ocd(obsessive compulsive) so he doesn't take to change too well

i have been trying to do the whole tough love thing i dont give it to him and then he freaks out so bad that he makes himself vomit. I share a room with him due to living arangments so he keeps trying to crawl in my bed at night it takes me two hours to get him back in his own it disrupts my sleep as well as his

Answer 1

You simply take the bottles. It is going to be HELL for a couple of days, since it has gone on this long. But you just take them. A friend of mine now has a seven year old who has no front teeth. They had to pull all 4 of the front top, and all 4 of the front bottom teeth when he was 3 years old, because mom had not taken away the bottle until he was 28 months old.You are not far from this.

Simply tell your son tomarrow morning that he will not have at bottle anymore. Get all the bottles and put them together in a trash bag. Get EVERY SINGLE ONE! No cheater bottle hidden in a cabinet. Then take the bottles to a dumpster somewhere, and let him watch you throw them away.

When he goes to bed, do a normal routine. If you don't have a normal routine, then start one now. Bath, book, bed. Put him in, kiss him good night, turn off the light and leave the room.

When your son starts screaming and comes out of his room, simply pick him up and put him back in bed. Do not say a word, and don't be frustrated, that will be what he wants. Chances are you will be up all night the first night, and for about 4-5 hours the second. By the third and 4th nights, things will beging to calm down.

Just remember, don't beg him to go to sleep, don't plead, and don't be overly upset. Just be confident when you put him back down, and don't speak. You should have already explained to him that he was not to have a bottle anymore and had to go to sleep in his own bed BEFORE you put him down.

If you do the whole "Honey, you have to go to bed, please, I'm sorry" then he will continue on screaming for a much longer time then if you just set him down in bed and leave the room. He will probbably get up immediatly after you lay him down, or even struggle to not get in at all. Don't hold him down or yell, or cry yourself, just put him in, and when he gets out, put him back.

This may sound mean, but trust me, you will be AMAZED how much better he sleeps at night when he is not reaching for a bottle everytime he stirs. I am guessing that he probbably wakes up 3 or 4 times a night and you have to refill the bottle, which is why he ends up not sleeping in his own bed. That will end once he gets used to going to sleep on his own without a bottle.

Also, all children are stubborn, and they are all a little ocd, since routin is the most secure thing for a child. All you are doing here is changing his routine, once he actually gets used to the new routine, then it will be his security, and he will stick to it, so make sure it is one you can live with. Maya used to sleep with us everynight, but at 12 months I put here in her own bed. Now, at 23 months, she absoulutely will not sleep with us, she has to be in her bed. We even take it when we go on trips because she won't sleep anywhere else. Talk about OCD.

Answer 2

The easiest way to get him off the bottle is to have him not need/want it any longer. If he is drinking anything other than water start watering it down gradualy untill it is just water. This is important for healthy teeth. Don't want any type of sugar laying in his mouth, even from milk. Start replacing his bottles with a cup during the day. Only put water in the daytime bottles and everything else in a cup. Most kids would rather drink something other than water so he will want to drink from the cup.
As far as sleeping in his own bed... the first night start a new ritual. Kids adjust if they know what to expect. Try not to make the change on a night that it's storming. Start during the day. Wash the bedding and have your child help you make the bed. Explain that this is where he gets to sleep and how lucky he is that his bed is so clean and soft and smells so nice. Have a teddy bear take a nap in the bed ( he is the one to put the bear in the bed). Read the bear a story and tell the bear good night. Go do something fun together. Then go anounce it is time to wake up teddy. Go into his room and tell the bear what a lucky bear he was to get to sleep in the nice bed. At bedtime go through your son's nightly routine, get him bathed, read him a story and tuck him in his nice bed. Read him another story, kiss him goodnight, and leave the room. When he cries or he gets out of bed (and he will) walk him back to his room and put him back into his bed, tell him goodnight and that you love him. The next time just put him back to bed, do not say anything. He will eventually stay in bed. Do the same routine the next night. If you are not ready for him to sleep on his own nothing you do is going to work. This does work but you have to stick to your plan. Good luck.

Answer 3

Well I'm a co-sleeper myself... so I won't nag you about that. I think it's beneficial for children to sleep cuddled up to Mommy at night until THEY feel secure enough to sleep alone (my books say this tends to be between 2-3 years old). So I, personally, wouldn't worry about the sleeping arrangement just yet if you both sleep better when you do so together. It's a common thing in other countries (who think its odd that "Americans put their babies in cages at night!").

As for the bottle... I saw a show once on supernanny in which she told the little girl that the pacifier fairy was coming to pick up all the little kids pacifiers to take them to little babies that really needed them... and then she put the pacifiers in a bag (and had the little girl help gather all of the pacifiers) and then she tied the bag to a tree outside. The next morning she brought the little girl out to the tree to discover a little gift bag hanging in the same spot... the pacifier fairy had left her a special surprise. Perhaps you can try this little trick but with all of his bottles instead. Maybe replace the bag with a gift bag containing a couple really cool sippy cups that the fairy says you can only fill with water instead of milk (which is VERY bad for teeth at night). I know it's a little elaborate... but hey... who knows? Maybe he'd get into it.

Or you could try slowly adding more water than milk to the bottle until it is so watered down that he either loses interest and no longer wants the bottle or he's drinking water which is better.

Best of luck!

Answer 4

First of all, start putting him to bed before it's your own bedtime, so that he gets used to falling asleep in an empty room. It will take patience and persistence to force him to stay in his own bed...good luck!

Don't try to take away his bottle until you have crossed this first hurdle - it's too much trauma for a young child.

However, what you should do is start giving him plain water in his nighttime bottle, as milk sitting in a sleeping child's mouth can cause tooth decay once his teeth have started growing in.

As with everything else with young children, take the bottle away in slow phases. Give it to him when he goes to bed, and then stay with him and take it away as he's starting to get sleepy. He'll get upset at first, but after a few nights he'll get used to this pattern. Eventually, he'll stop associating the comfort of his bottle with sleep.

Thirdly, to call a toddler OCD is rediculous. You should not be labelling children with true psychological problems unless they are diagnosed by a medical professional. Essentially you are blaming your own parenting faults on a mental illness.

Answer 5

Alright, I am going to try to answer this question without being negative. First of all, for the future, in case you decide to have other children, the bottle should have been gone by the time he turned 1 year old, and he should've been sleeping in a basinet or his own crib since birth.

First, let's focus on the issue of sleeping locale. Your son is not really old enough, as of yet, to NEED a toddler bed. An infant crib would still be safe and large enough to contain him, safely. This is important because the child, most likely, will not be able to get out of a crib, as he can a regular bed. You need a bedtime routine. The following is a suggestion....

Step 1- Take a bath. Brush his teeth.

Step 2 - Read a book. Put on pajamas.

Step 3-Put the baby in the crib at an appropriate bedtime for his age. Children this age need around 13 hours of sleep total, most still take at least a 1-2 hour nap during the day, so figure out the right bed time in reference to whatever time he must rise in the morning. (i.e. Awake at 7am, Asleep by 8pm.....Awake at 6am, Asleep by 7pm.....Awake at 9am, Asleep by 10pm)

Step 4 - Turn out the light and leave the room. Period. Do NOT go back unless he is injured or you're going to sleep yourself. Do NOT talk to him from the hallway. Do NOT spank, scream, or punish him in any way. He is going to SCREAM. Each night, he will scream for less time before he falls asleep. After about 7-10 days, he'll simply lie down and go to sleep.

Now, let's face the bottle issue. Bottle feeding past the age of 10-12 months is detrimental to the dental and psychological health of your child. The child uses the bottle as a comfort object, which is very inappropriate. Use the following steps to remove the bottle from bedtime.

Step 1 - Begin transitioning from milk or juice, to water. Start with 6 ounces milk, 2 ounces water.....Tomorrow...4 ounces of each....The next day....6 ounces water, 2 of milk...The next day, all water. This makes the bottle less desirable. Your son will most likely just give it up on his own.

Step 2- Even if he doesn't give up the bottle after step 1, it is at least healthier with water instead of milk or juice.

Step 3-Start leaving a soft spouted sippy cup, as well as the bottle, in the corner of the bed when he lies down. Do NOT hand either to him. Make him choose. Encourage the sippy cup. Explain that big boys use sippies. If necessary, fill the sippy with milk, and the bottle with water. This makes the cup more appealing than the bottle.

Step 4- Use Soft Spouted Cups...such as Nuby.

Step 5 - After a few days, take away the bottle, and just leave the cup. This may bring on more temper tantrums like forcing him to sleep in his own bed. IGNORE IT!

Your son is NOT a baby anymore.....crying will not harm him. He forces himself to vomit because he knows it gets your attention. You need to realize that he is not vomiting from sickness, but from being spoiled. If he cries enough to vomit, simply go in, change him, repeat the activities from before (putting him in bed, saying goodnight, turning off the light, and leaving), and let him work it out on his own.

Good Luck!

Answer 6

What helped my son is to show him the same things......
It is going to sound stupid but it worked and it was fun...
When it was time to transition to sippy cup I was a little late he was 13 mo..so he was attached..I got 2 of the same sippy cups and every time i gave him his bottle or he wanted it I would pour myself the same drink in the sippy cup, drink out of the sippy cup myself when he had a bottle, and after a few times and a few days he would see the sippy cup on the counter and ask for that caues he saw thats what i had. So when he would have a drink i would just fill two sippy cups and we would drink togather.Get rid of the bottle togather but teach him that the bottle is grose so he wont take other kids bottles... It helped me....And with the beds, I did the same thing I made his bed look like mine same colors and all! It was fun for the both of us!

Answer 7

All you have to do is throw the bottles away. Then when he wants it, you won't have it. He'll get over it. As far as him sleeping in his own bed, you have to make him get in his bed and stick with it. Once he knows you are not going to give in he will no longer put up a fight. Well not too much of one.

Answer 8

Just take it away from him (it will be so much better for his teeth as they come in and grow) What you can do about him sleeping in his own bed is decorate his room how he likes it. Let him pick out bed covers and such. Make a big thng about him being a "big boy" and if so, purchaes a night light.

Answer 9

U have to take it away and keep it away. Yeah I know easier said than done, believe me I know I have 2 children. Change the nipple on the bottle, that may help, or try one of those sippie cups with the silicone lid.

Answer 10

sounds like he needs a little tough love. Make his bed as comfortable as possible. Maybe start w/ his bed in your room then move it to his. My friend had to put her girls mattress on the floor, off the bed before she would use it, and she still needed tough love