How do i get my 15 year old daughter to tow the line?

Question

She tells me she is staying with one friend then i find out she is staying with a friend that i don't like, I really dont like this girl.

Answer 1

Don't let her go out. Make it a trust thing. tell her that if she lies and you can't trust her then she can't stay the night anywhere. tell her she has to earn your trust back. Or make it extremely hard for her to lie about it.. talk to the other parents before you say ok. check up on her..drop her off and pick her up or make sure that the appropriate friend's parent is the one that does it.

And talk to her about why you don't like the friend. Ultimately she's gonna have to decide if she'll hang out with her or not, but try to guide her to the right decision.

Answer 2

Honestly, I am raising my 16 year old neice, since she was 15 she was like that all the time girls guys it didn't matter she would lie..i tryed the grounding, taking tv, ..............you know...What has worked the best and is still getting better...start over with 100% trust, get the friend #'s house #, all that. And meet all of her friends. If they are wierd then they are wierd, Get to know all of them GUYS too!!! Cause she does know guys.. Set up cerfew, check in time, have the friend she is hanging out with come to the house before they leave, Check in time for MINE is usuall every hour and a half!! She is doing really good! But, teens want the freedom and their friends are more important than family right now, So make it so that she has no reason to be sneeky and lie, you might have to bite your tounge on some of her friends, but with us it has avoided the drugs and stuff...And she is really actually staying home more.....

Answer 3

That's hard. I, too, have a 15 yr. old daughter. First of all, an important thing is getting to know as many of her friends' parents as possible. I know this isn't easy, but try!

Don't take her word for things now that you know she's being dishonest w/you in certain situations (hopefully not too many others besides this one!).

Tell her that you will drive her to her friends, if you possibly can. If she says she doesn't want you to, that should be a red flag right there. Does she have a cell phone? Do you know the phone #'s of her friends' homes? Do you know where they live?

If you need to limit her activities, then do it. But it's hard to get a child to understand why you don't like a friend of theirs. Think about why you don't care for this friend and try to encourage your daughter to hang out w/kids you like and approve of. By out and out banning her from seeing this friend, it will probably make the situation worse. Talk to your daughter about what you have against this girl and compare the girl with other friends of whom you approve. Try to highlight the positive qualities of other friends rather than the negatives qualities of this friend.

Answer 4

ground her. the next time she is staying over at a friends house phone and speak to the parents - on a land line, not a mobile - that way you can check she is staying there before she leaves the house. if the other parent hasn't a clue what you are talking about then don't let your daughter leave the house.

it's tricky cos kids are brilliant at saying one thing and doing another but this could get her into serious trouble. it'll be hard to stop though. good luck

Answer 5

Confront her first (and she's gonna get pissy when you do), then you need to monitor her if she is saying she is going one place then make sure goes there. If she is sneaking from that place to go to another then tell her she can't go anywhere for awhile. 15 is a rough age for a girl. (believe it or not I wants was 15) However, she is learning what she can and cannot get away with not to mention she is trying to grow up and act like an adult. So, teach her the responsiblities of being honest and rewards those behaviors. I hope this helps a little.

Answer 6

I would first talk to her about lying to you and take away privileges. As for her "friend," I don't think there is much you can do to keep them apart. Just keep encouraging her to make smart decisions. I had a friend in high school my parents absolutely hated. They thought she was a bad influence (I will admit she smoked/drank/etc but I never did any of that so I didn't see it the same way as my parents.) In the long run I got a eye opener. I had sold my car to my "friend" and she didn't pay for five months, then wrecked the car. Long story short she refused to pay because she "didn't get to drive it anymore" and we ended up in court . . . some friend eh? Your daughter will learn one day. I can't think of a single person I still talk to from high school anyway, once I hit college my priorities changed and so did my friends so we didn't have much in common anymore.

Answer 7

Girls who undergo some transformation (fat to slim, ugly to pretty, unpopular to popular) realize that it's easier to manipulate the people around them into getting what they want. Like Lindsay Lohan did in Mean Girls once she was one of the Plastics. Less popular or less physically-attractive people will most of the time bend to the will of "prettier" people. This means that even if you won't do what she wants, she'll find like ten other people who will. Not just that, but she doesn't "need" you anymore. Even if you stop being her friend, she'll have a whole bunch of others waiting in line. Since she's "pretty" now she'll just want to hang around people who look just as good as her so everyone can acknowledge her as part of the HOT crowd. You should just get over it. Ignore her and after middle school or high school (I don't know what you're in) you'll totally forget about her. If she's as dumb as you say, she'll end up living at home not going to a good college. You just focus on studying hard, get into Harvard, get an amazing job, and then when she's living at her parents' house at age 30, you can drive by in your BMW and cackle at her. HAHA. Maybe not the last part, but you know what I mean. Just forget about it, you'll see what I mean soon enough!

Answer 8

I was the same way at one point. I did it cause I knew my parents didn't like her. For me it was a stage that I went through. But my parents let me hang with her as long as I told them I was going to be with her. Then I seen what kids of person she really was and I didn't want to be friends with someone like her. I hope that is what will happen in your case. Just try to wait it out. Hope things get well soon.

Answer 9

Bit late now! Try reverse psychology, love the friend you hate, cause any friend you hate your girl will love! Keep your friends close and your enemies closer!

Be confident in the job you have done of raising a confident, intelligent young lady who is able to take care of herself. If you are saying that you have no confidence in your Daughter in this way then you need to keep her in till she is eighteen and hates you. Either way it is a bit late now!

Children of any age need boundaries and discipline (not physical), you cannot be her best friend and her parent, she already has loads of friends, be her parent.

If you feel she is in danger, take action.

Answer 10

When she asks to stay at a friends house you should phone the friends mum to make sure thats where she will be , thats what i would do , i have a 15 yr old too and know how caniving (sp) they can be !