My husband is from a different culture....I lived with him and his sister for a year and a half before we got our own place.....I worked full-time, cooked all the meals, did all the cleaning.
I understand this was a huge change for his sister.....But, the thing is,,,,,he talked me into letting her work in the same bank as me. I was the manager. Anyway, I had to leave my job becasue of her manipulative ways. He told me I had to put up with her because she was part of my family.
Then, she and my other sister-in-law teamed up on me.....They called me whore, ****, etc. I know they may have been jealous, but I have never had to deal with this sort of behavior.
His sister has done some nice things for me, but we did nice things for each other. I have to tolerate her being with us almost 24/7. She tries to give her opinion on raising my children, etc. She calls our house at all hours of the night.
The other sister-in-law is coming back into town soon. How should I act?
2006-11-10 09:31:50 · 13 answers · asked by Kimberly R. 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
sI can appreciate that different cultures have different loyalties but you come from a culture which says families stick together and do not Diss each other and should respect each other,,,, she is pushing it cause she knows her culture will protect her.....................
You have a right to be happy, this is going to tear you up if you do not do something about it.
I couldn't stand her so close to me, you home is your only sanctury and if you can't feel peace there where can you??
Put your foot down and if she still lives with you ask your husband to ask her to move out, you need to respect each others feelings.......................
2006-11-10 09:40:34 · answer #1 · answered by xXx Orange Breezer xXx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think this is more than just a problem with your husbands´ sister and sister-in-law, but rather, also with your husband...if ur husband is telling you to put up with these girls because they r part of the family, then he is definetley part of the problem...any man who loves u isn´t going to make u stay in the way of such criticism and abuse. You are definetely NOT being overly sensitive and the fact that you had to do the cooking and cleaning and mantain a full-time job for ur brothers´ sister in addition wasn´t right from the start...what were those two doing!? U need to work this out with ur husband more over...if he can´t except that u are not going to be abused and he is not willing to stand up and protect his hard working wife, then either he needs to get lost or things need to change. When u are with the sister-in-law u should try and get some friends with u if u plan to meet her...don´t tell her ahead of time...just bring some friends along with u and if that ***** tries to peg on u then u´ll have ur friends to get her back and they can definetely come in handy...listen...what is GREAT to do if u two are in public or around people she would be embarresed by "WHY THE **** DID U JUST CALL ME A WHORE!!!???" and she will be completely embarresed hopefully and if anyone knows u (and likes u)then they will know that, first off, u aren´t a whore, and second off that ur sister-in-law was being a jerk...don´t stoop down to her, and don´t try and avoid her...just act as if she doesn´t sift u a bit and if she says something really mean, then U FIGHT!!!
u had to leave ur job and have to put up with all this!?
good luck!:)
hope everything works out for u:)
2006-11-10 09:54:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Kimberly,
This has happened to a few of my relatives in my extended family..sisters-in-laws have issues..!
The main thing you need to think about is your relationship with your husband. Imagine how he is feeling- torn beween his siblings and his wife, and the sad truth is his siters are aware of the damage ther are doing...
What you need to do is not let them 'win', if you let them get between you and your husband thye sort of will, no matter how unintentional their actions are..
I'm afraid the issue will probably never completely disappear, so I suggest you just see it as their problem..not yours..and don't take out your frustration on your husband..
Be nice and sweet to them when they come to visit- and have a rant about it to your friends, the people that really do care about you..
i'm not sure if this is the 'proper' thing to do, but the other more confrontational options that my family memebers chose did not do them ANY favours!
i hope this helps and good luck! x
by the way, im not saying your husband doesnt care about you! he's probably extremely torn about where his loyalties should lie
2006-11-10 09:46:07 · answer #3 · answered by pseudoname 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to grow a pair of testicles and tell his sisters to but out of your marriage. He should put you as his wife as a much higher priority than his sister's-As far as her calling put your foot down tell them unless it is an emergency do not call after a certain time.
Good luck Girl
2006-11-10 09:43:21 · answer #4 · answered by maryhorton8563@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think you're too sensitive. I hope my husband doesn't have sisters like that. I don't think your husband should tell you to tolerate with her just because she's in the family. She should learn to respect you, and he shoudl tell her. Just try to ignore them, it may be hard, but happens to lots of people. I tend to see it with mothers and their daughter in laws though.
2006-11-10 10:15:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
HE IS YOUR HUSBAND , WHICH MAKES HIM THE PERSON WHO CHOSE YOU AS HIS WIFE .
SO AS HIS WIFE YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO WHAT HAPPENS IN YOUR MARRIAGE ,
SO I SUGGEST YOU TELL YOUR MANIPULATIVE SISTER IN LAW WHERE TO GO, AND TELL YOUR HUSBAND , IF HE WANTED YOU AS A WIFE THEN A WIFE YOU WILL BE AND NOT JUST AS AN EXTENTION OF HIS FAMILY
DIFFERENT CULTURE OR NOT
2006-11-10 09:48:56 · answer #6 · answered by bell 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them both to kiss your A S S. If your husband doesn't take up for you he is a piece of S H I T.
2006-11-10 09:40:42 · answer #7 · answered by James L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should explain to him your problems while you 2 are alone but most importantly you should try to be nice to his sister because it seems like his family is important to him and I am sure he knows how his sister can be but he doesn't want to see it that way you could also try to take her aside and just ask her outright if she has a problem with you and if so what it is most importantly don't try to get him to chose sides
2006-11-10 09:41:19 · answer #8 · answered by niccolli420 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO YOU KNOW THAT BEING HUSBAND AND WIFE SHOULD BE A 50/50 THING NOT A WIFE/HUSBAND/SISTER /SISTER THING PLEASE SIT HIM DOWN AND GET THINGS SORTED BETWEEN (JUST HIM AND YOU ) AND IF THAT DOSE NOT WORK THEN WALK OUT BECAUSE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL NEVER WORK AND YOU WILL BE A SLAVE TO HIM AND HIS FAMILY FOREVER I WISH YOU BOTH LOTS OF LUCK AND BEST WISHES
2006-11-10 10:02:22 · answer #9 · answered by stirling silver 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not too sensitive, his sister is way too involved, he needs to adapt to your culture a bit.
2006-11-10 09:45:30 · answer #10 · answered by Aaron 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋