My 15-year-old son lies to me constantly.?

Question

I've tried grounding, punishment, and now I've totally lost my temper and have practically cussed him out. I don't use physical punishmen to any kind. I've removed his computer, he is in his room with nothing but books and a radio. I don't know how to handle the lies.

Lots of good advice here, thanks! I have already tried some of it, but I guess it will be an ongoing thing. I appreciate all of your help

Answer 1

two words - drivers license

My son turned 16 last month. When he was 15, the best form of discipline we came up with was a point system, where he earned or lost points for bad grades/good grades, discipline vs exceptional behavior, lies, etc. A point equalled a week wait on getting his drivers license. we kept track on a chart on the fridge. At one point, we were up to him not getting his license until december. As his birthday got closer, he really got worried he wouldn't be able to get his license on his bday, and we really started seeing a change. The points started coming off.

He got his license on his birthday.

Now we are trying to figure out what will motivate him as much as that did

Answer 2

When you hear him lie to you, it is important to stop and talk through the situation. It is amazing how far you will get with kids by talking to them. If you actually know he is lying while talking to you, make him stop, back up, and let him know that you know that was a lie, "Why did you feel you had to lie to me about that? What made you not want to tell the truth? What gain could you have gotten if you had simply told me the truth? Let's talk through this situation so more..." If you find out later that he lied, you can basically do the same thing. They want the extreme attention. If you give them a conversation instead, it may greatly change the behavior.

Don't feed it with negative attention like a therapist or medication or extreme outbursts. Give it moderate, intelligent attention if you want to get anywhere.

Answer 3

i'm sorry if this sounds impolite, yet... If I understand this properly, you're calling a three 12 months previous boy whose mom replaced into only at present murdered a devil baby. For what reason? through fact he expects you to be his new mom? he's 3 years previous, he does not be attentive to to any extent further useful! you're so egocentric which you will no longer even enable your husband to spend time together with his baby? you think of that your diamond necklace is extra significant than the boy's training? it is definitely heartless. you in addition to mght reported which you hate him through fact he cries too plenty and he does not p.c.. up after himself. that's what 3 12 months previous's do! His mom only have been given murdered and you're offended through fact he cries too plenty! you do no longer sound like the style of individual who's in good shape to be around infants, and that i'm hoping you in no way have any of your individual considering you're an extremely egocentric individual. And in case you think of that your husband will p.c.. you over his son you're lifeless incorrect. Frankly i'm no longer able to even believe which you will placed your husband interior the placement the place he would would desire to compliment his spouse or his son. i'm no longer able to even tell if this could be a intense question or if i'm only getting trolled.

Answer 4

my 14 year old son Tyken does this all the time. its smart of you not to use physical punishment. but everynow and then i slap [but NOTHING more] isnt that bad...but not too hard or he'll expect you to be that way all the time. take away EVERYTHING. even books and radio. and if continues to lie, tell him that u will send him away to military school or boot camp. u dont really even have to consider it for real. it may help him relize he needs to tell the truth or he'll have to give a salute to normal life. try counseling too. that MIGHT help. my son tyken always lies about everything and ive taken EVERYTHING out of his room. lol. he doesnt have anything in there at all. nothing except for a ceiling fan. and he can only come out to receive meals and to go to the bathroom. he gets this ounishment because he lied about something REALLY terrible. but thats beside the point.

any way, best of luck with your son!

Answer 5

My son is 14 yrs. old and he lies too me too and it is very frustrating. His school would call me too let me know that he has not attended the class and I question him about it. He makes up this bull sh*t excuse and expects me too believe him.

I also put him on punishment, I take way all the things that he likes but he does not seem to care. I do not hit him because he is way bigger then me and I do not think that it would hurt. Good luck to you...

Answer 6

some of it may be watching his parrents. There may be some thing in his life that he is so scared about some one finding out, that he lies to cover up. A lie will always produce another one, and so forth.

Try to gently find out what it is, work with him, instead of venting at him, and when you find out, help him deal with it.

If he finds a way of nowing he can trust you, his attitude may change.

Answer 7

I was the same way.

I eventually just grew up. My mom took me to a therapist and everything but I was the same way. You just have to wait. Or you could beat the hell out of him. I know that sounds mean, but in retrospect if my mom would have slapped me when I lied to her. I wouldn't have done it.

Answer 8

lie to him one day and ask him how it felt afterwards when he was disappointed. maybe he sees his friends get away with this all the time and he should meet a different group of friends who will show him not too.

ask him to write a one page answer everytime he lies of why he lied and what he thought he would get from it, and how it badly affected him and save them. bring them all out when he lies again and show him how many time he has lied to you. just keep saving them until he get the point.

Answer 9

lie to him