Does my "best friend" secretly hate me?

Question

I'm fairly certain she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). She says that she cares about me, but her actions seem to say different. It seems like she purposefully ignores everything good that happens to me or competes with it. Then she expects me to be happy for her.. My question is: what does she really think about me? I wonder what she tells her other friends (whom I don't know) about me. Is there a way for me to "test" if she is really sick in the head - so that I can leave this relationship with good conscience? Does she really believe that she is a good friend? Does she know she is being mean?

Answer 1

I see you are trying to find excuses for her by labeling her with NPD. This shows that you care about this friendship while she does not, at least not as much as you do.
You don't need to label her or test her. What you see is what you get. Obviously she feels better about herself by being mean to you. And obviously you can't tolerate it any more. Keep a certain distance from her if you don't really want to completely break the friendship. I know it is probably hard for you to do because I believe you two share some experiences or memories that are good. You have to face the fact that you two can not be close friends.

Answer 2

I had a friend like this once. NPD is a possibility, but you don't need to label her. Your happiness should be the most important thing to you. A best friend is one who 1.)Makes you feel good about yourself, 2.)Supports you at any time in your life (good or bad), and 3.)Thrills in your accomplishments. If she fails any of those requirements, then you have no reason to give her your time if it's not appreciated. You should feel like you are leaving the friendship "with good conscience" as long as you communicate to her how you feel. She probably believes she is a good friend and that she isn't being mean - so talk to her and tell her what you expect in a friendship. Good luck!

Answer 3

I agree with juncogirl. I think you do not need to test your friend. I think you already have a handle on how she behaves and the problems with your friendship. I think now you may have to look within and find out if her behaviour crosses any of your personal boundries. If it does, you need to consider moving on. It's unrealistic (and unhealthy) to expect others to change so therefore, the question must then be, "Can you live with how she is now." If the answer is no, move on. If the answer is no and you still decide to be friends with her, than you really can't complain when she acts out because you already know how she is. I wish you luck with your decision. I know that it is very hard when you have to make the decision to let a friendship go.

Answer 4

I dont know what she thinks about you obviously because its her. But let me say this, i think your 'best friend' cares about you, but it seems like she does suffer from a disorder. She might have lied to you. By this, yes, your friend does certainly think she is a good friend, if she didnt knew that she wouldnt have done it in the first place! I think you should confront her straight on. Ask her whether you guys are really friends and whether she cares about you or not, ask her to show you that she cares about you. Some people tell us they care about us but they dont show it. But they will show it in the end at some stage. Good luck.

Answer 5

Read a book called Stop Walking on Eggshells. Library will have because it is very popular. It will give you some insights into what is called Borderline Personality Disorder. Next, it is not necessary for you to test your friend. Determine for yourself that if you have to "test" a friend for frienship maybe you have already answered your questions.

Answer 6

well my best friends and i have problems like that all the time. mostly because we're so close and spend so much time together that even our slightest flaws get on each other's nerves. maybe you and your friend just really need to sit down and have a heart to heart. get out all your feelings and all your secrets. no walls should be left up and nothing should be kept from one another. maybe in the end you'll learn that you just need to spend a little more time apart so your relationship can heal and be back to normal. thats what me and my friends just recently figured out. and honestly. it's working.
i really hope this helps, cuz i know how much it hurts not to have your best friend backing you up the way they used to. good luck

Answer 7

no, I surely have a "pal" that i do no longer preserve, however the detest is mutual. i don't be attentive to her that properly she for some reason does not like me, which she's no longer shy to declare, yet she acts like we are acquaintances.. and that i do in comparison to her for her fakeness. She possibly figures i do in comparison to her the two yet i do no longer possibly say something by way of fact i do no longer want drama.

Answer 8

your friend has self-esteem issues nad has a hard time seeing other around her receive good news. SHe doesn't hold herself in the same reguard. Talk to her about it and tell her how she makes you feel, might surprise you..

Answer 9

Well either your friend is selfish either she goes by the saying ... keep your friend close and you r ennemy closer . they only way to know it is either talk to her about it wich can really upset her but if you care about that friend ship stand your ground if you feel she is mean man you can be friend but i suggest you really cahnge best friend

Answer 10

Ask her, "Do you really like me? Are you really my friend?" If she says, "Yes," then tell her how you feel. It worked with a friend of mine who was hurting my feelings without knowing!