Am I being selfish?

Question

What do you do when you feel like you can't go on anymore? Nothing is right. I want to end it all. I'm going to end it all. I'm not scared anymore. I know there are other things I should do before I end it but I can't do this anymore. Does anyone understand? I know it isn't right but I have to do this. I'm to tired of things being this way. I don't know how it will affect my family. I know it will hurt them but it couldn't possibly make them feel as bad as I do now. Maybe I am being selfish but I don't care. Right now it is time for me to think about myself not them. I realize this isn't right to do to them but I can't go on like this anymore. I'm miserable and it seems as though ending it all is the only way to make things better for me. Should I stop thinking of myself and start to think about the people that I will hurt by doing this? Does this make me a bad person? Does that even matter?

Answer 1

Well, it must matter to you since you posted this question. You need to get some counseling to work through your troubles and begin to find yourself again. Ending it is the chickenshit's way out. It is the easy way. You are better than that. STand up & take control of your life. You can do this.

Answer 2

Yes, they will feel as bad as you do now and maybe even worse. Do you really want them to feel the pain that you do? I just can't imagine what I would do if my little girl was gone. I think talking to them would be a better idea. Families are there for each other. There is also professional help. Many people have felt the same way you do now. If they ended it all then there would be very few people around. I have been through allot in my life and I am still here. I am a survivor. I think you are too. I think that your asking this question is a good way of asking for help. I do not know you but I am willing to help. I am taking the time to write to you because I think you are worth it. I think the world would be a better place if you were around. So go to your family right now and ask for help. I hope you do, I really do!

Answer 3

How old are you? I think you must be around 18-28, just a guess, I may be wrong. But the point is that you precisely know how many years it took for you to be here. I don’t know what you have done for which you are feeling like this or you may be victimized by something. Life is precious and this is the only chance (only in this life time) you have to make something out of your life.

You may find it very harsh, but you are not selfish but definitely stupid. I can not say you are confused; the thing is that you are not concentrating enough to define your goals (for the only life you have). My dear, do retrospection now on every things. Identify top 5 passions and surround your daily routine around it. Let me tell you, no matter at what emotional state / financial state you are in, if you practice this, I’ll guaranty you will turn out to be very successful person in few years.

Just practice, “think, re-think and then act/react” both for thoughts (any thinking stuff) or work (anything you do). No matter what you do, you will find somebody in this world, who will not agree with you. Always remember there is always a third perspective to everything which is agreeable among two people.

Take care, and start thinking rationally to every problem/issue in concern.

Answer 4

I seem to have been done with this life before I started it. I am soo old, for as young as I am. I figure I have been around the reincarnation block 7 times. Why 7 , I don't know, but that is the number. Point is, ahh, I fight tooth and nail, to scrape out the life I want for myself. It has been Hell, since I was 7. especially the last two years. I look around and I don't know how the hell I made it through. But I am here, and still fighting. I won't let them win. I've wanted to throw in the towel a few times when I was younger. But then I remember what my Grandmother said, " There are people out there that have been though worse" As much as I wanted to tell her that was a load, she was right. You need to talk to someone, and even though you have been dealt a crappy hand right now, and maybe you've had it for awhile, you have the potential to change it. You really do. Reach out to the people who are around you, it is ok to ask for help. Verbalize your feelings, thoughts... yell it in the damn woods. One more thing,, I am in no way religious, not really, not yet, but a friend of mine is. She gave that poem Footprints to my son. (he has a pretty shitty hand too and he is 8) I had seen it but never read it. I finally did. Very comforting, really. My son is spiritual, I don't know how, but I am so happy he has that. Take a deep breath, reach out.. you will find your way out of this place. Take care

Answer 5

Personal experience tells me that it is selfish and will affect your family dramatically. More importantly, I don't think it will make you feel any better! Problems can be fixed, but when we die we don't come back. I've felt what your describing many times but with the help of others and medical intervention I'm alive and happy today! Talking with friends and family does make a difference and was the new beginning that my life needed. Most people never new how I felt because I never told Them!! People care so don't give up, try talking 2 your doctor he can treat your condition but let your family now before it's too late.

Answer 6

(based upon my own experience with life similar to what you describe).
it's very hard (if not impossible) to stop thinking about yourself when you are in such emotional misery. the torture seems to be endless. each minute is a day. the pain just keeps going on and on. no one knows the hell you're living through. it appears like the only way out of this hideous life is to commit suicide.
my psychiatrist once told me that "suicde is a PERMANENT solution to a TEMPORARY problem." i used this line while i was attempting to end my life (three different times). i felt that was the only way to relieve the agony going on in my mind.
i don't know you! but because you are a fellow sufferer, you have my attention and sympathy.
you have the right to live. you are a good and wonderful person.
because you have depression, your mind is sending you these distorted thoughts, I'm useless, nobody cares, i'm better off dead
depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. THERE IS HELP! promise yourself and me that you will see a psychiatrist ASAP or take yourself to the nearest emergency room before you commit this dastardly deed. with the proper medication and talk therapy, you can be on the road to a healthy, happy mind within 4-6 weeks. that's how much longer you need to devote to this illness. then, the rest of your life will still be in front of you. you must fight to live! please follow my suggestions and please, please don't killl yourself. you're recovery will enable you to unselfishly help another person going through the same crisis you are now.
may your find internal peace and joy soon, but not through suicide. i promise you can be helped.
if you continue to need help, make another posting. i would appreciate knowing how you are doing.

Answer 7

It's possible that you think you're selfish only because you have not felt justified in thinking about yourself enough. You may be in a habit of not taking care of you own needs, while thinking too much about pleasing others. Sometimes you need to be 'selfish'. I felt the same way before. I took drastic measures but different than what you're considering. I cut myself off from my family for 3 years while I dealt with things. I think you need to at least think about your needs outside of your relationship with your family. Family is often a major part of the problem and you may need to take yourself out of it somehow, so that you can understand it better. You may not need to do this physically. It could be a mental thing - stepping away from it, in a sense, and seeing it from another perspective. But you may need to find other means of support. Psychologists, psychiatrists, and support groups may help. You need to know that you're not alone. You can be in contact with your family and still be alone, just because they don't know how you feel. They may not be capable of knowing. But you definitely need to see a counsellor. If you become 'selfish' enough to take care of your own needs, you will be less emotionally dependent on others. You will have a more fulfilling relationship with them, and everyone will be better off for it.

Answer 8

However bad you may see your life there are people who can help you. What country are you in? UK has the Samaritans, I'm not sure about USA but pretty sure there are similar here. You must care enough to want help, your question is evident of that. Talking to the right people will let them show you ways to get out of the dark place you are in right now. If it will help, write to me, tell me whats driven you to this place and I will do my best to help or point you in the right direction. Don't give up. Alan

Answer 9

Since you feel so badly but are thinking you know what you should really do. How would you feel if one of your family member were to end their life.
It may take some time, but there are medicines that can help you to feel better about things. And talking to a professional in mental health should help too. Ask your family doctor to recommend some one.
I don't know you but I do care about you and I am sure there are others who care too.

Answer 10

I think most of us feel like giving up sometimes. When I feel like this, having something to look forward to helps me get out of the funk. There is always something you can look forward to - even if it is small: a good steak, new shoes, sex(with or without someone else), shopping, vacation, etc.

Is it selfish to have these feelings? No. Does it make you bad? No. But wouldn't you rather spend all that sad energy on trying to feel happy?

ps- you can't change your mind after you are dead.