My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months. We're in our early 20s. We talk as if we're already engaged. We talk about our future kids, our future pets, our future home, etc. He's asked me to marry him several times already. It's the cutest thing. I say yes everytime. So we're pretty much practically engaged already. But it's not OFFICIAL to the point we tell everyone that we're each other's fiances. Nothing like that.
I see girls sporting around their expensive diamond rings saying, "Yes. I'm engaged." It made me wonder... do girls HAVE to have that ring to make it an official engagement??
I am not a materialistic girl so I could care less about rings. My boyfriend knows this too. But I know a ring is inevitable. He's paying for college by himself. I understand his financial situation.
Is it necessary to have that ring on your ring finger in order to be officially engaged? Besides... how long were you with your S.O. before the engagement?
2006-11-10 08:21:30 · 39 answers · asked by ( Kelly ) 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
OK, I love this question!! My answer is NO NO NO! You absolutely do NOT have to have an engagment ring. I too am in my early 20s and my fiance (already call my husband) and I have been living together for the past two years and he just proposed about 7 months ago but he did not have a ring and it was the most amazing moment of my life. I completely understood his financial situation so it was never an issue, I knew a ring would come later so I never worried about it. I'm a big fan of ebay and I would just browse at second hand rings until I found the perfect one for $200 but I had it appraised at $1400. My fiance bought it for me one month ago and I can't stop looking at my finger. Is it an ice skating rink? Of course not but it's the ring MY fiance put on MY finger and that's good enough for me. It sounds like you and your fiance are just as ginuine so I'm sure you really don't care what he puts on your finger as long as it's from the heart. Just keep in mind that all this crap you see on television and magazines...that's not real! Every engagement is not going to be on top of the Eiffel Tower and your wedding may not be in the Grand Ballroom at the Waldorf Astoria but it's your wedding and that is what makes it PERFECT! FYI: My fiance has an engagement ring too and both of our rings cost less than $300 combined (from eBay) and everyone "thinks" we bought our rings new! So now people know, you and my mom (and all of Yahoo Answers) Congratulations sweetie to you and your fiance!!
2006-11-10 08:55:41 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs_Rivera2U 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
A ring is a sentimental tradition - no more, no less. It is not "necessary" in a practical sense. My feeling about engagement is that once you set a date and start planning the wedding (however big or small) - this is the point at which you are truly "engaged". My husband and I had known each other for just over a year by the time we decided to get married. There was no "proposal" or anything, we simply made a decision to set a date and get married (after having lived together for a year); we got married 4 months after making this decision. At some point, we did go out and get a ring that we called an "engagement ring", although it was just a ring I really liked (blue topaz, my favorite stone). It really is up to the couple as to how the whole engagement business is handled.
If you feel that you're ready for the next step, just talk to your b/f and ask him if he would like to set a date. Then start figuring out how and where you would like to get married. It's that simple.
2006-11-10 09:12:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No the 1st rate 2d which you become engaged is while certainly one of you asks the different to marry them and the guy asked accepts. era! a ring is on no account required extremely truthfully, even with the undeniable fact that that is classic. Many couples at the instant are not getting a ring until after the engagement (2 motives for this, a million. the bride to be can then choose her very own likes for a ring and 2. if the respond is not any you dont could difficulty that a jeweler will possibly not take a return, unhappy yet authentic)
2016-11-23 14:36:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't have to have the ring to be official. In fact, some brides choose to not ever have the ring. They'd get something else, a necklace, a new car, whatever.
It's great that you talk about all that stuff now, because so many people don't plan ahead, and then they get married and it's a big shock when they find out that one of them never wants kids, saving/spending habits are different, one wants a split-level and the other a tudor, one spanks and the other doesn't, or all kinds of things like that.
I have been with my boyfrined for more than four years now, and we are beginning to plan for a September 1, 2007 wedding. I don't have a ring yet because of financial constraints (we are renovating an apartment and have a 9 month-old son), but he knows what I want and wants to pick it out on his own.
Since before out first year anniversary, we've been like you two, jokingly proposing and talking about the important stuff. But it was kinda unspoken that we'd be out of school and everything before we really started planning anything. We were originally shooting for July 2006, but in 05 I got pregnant, and we didn't want to try to plan a wedding and move and be pregnant all at once, so we held off on the wedding.
2006-11-10 16:21:39 · answer #4 · answered by Queen Queso 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you don't have to have an engagement ring, it's up to the couple. i got an engagement ring, but that was because i wanted one. i picked the middle stone, then he went back and changed the setting. it's perfect for me, and i love it. you SHOULD however be dating a little bit longer. if you guys are serious about marriage, definately talk about kids, finances, etc. you don't want to get married without finding those things out! you could get some matching silver rings, etc or something like that if you're not an engagement ring type of girl. i would suggest waiting until around graduation time, because weddings can be expensive, unless you do the court-thing. my husband and I dated for 4 years before we were married, but we talked about it very early on in the relationship. i was 26/27 years old when i got married, too. whenever you feel ready to be married, good luck! just remember, it's not just "playing house". it's a serious committment.
2006-11-10 08:48:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't have to have a ring to be engaged. I just got my ring 2 weeks ago and we've been planning our December 30th wedding for 4 months already. We couldn't afford the rings yet. Also, we obviously told everyone we were engaged, I didn't even have the ring when we sent out the invites. Also, I know people who never got an engagement ring. It's up to you. And we have been together for a little over 4 years. YOU ARE engaged in my opinion.
2006-11-10 15:28:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, of course not! Usually an engagement in the USA is considered official when you decide you plan to marry. Usually it is followed closely by an announcement to those you care about stating your intentions. A date is then chosen for the wedding. As far a money goes--there are BEAUTIFUL rings out there in high quality silver or gold, but with really good quality cubic zircon that look and feel just like the pricey ones. Mine is 14 Ct yellow gold with about 2 ct of stone that cost about $200 instead of the $5000 it would have cost if the stones were diamonds. I LOVE it and the stones are very clear-much prettier than real diamonds that we could have afforded. No one has ever guessed and my husband was given so many compliments on his generosity and taste that he just glowed.
2006-11-10 08:39:38 · answer #7 · answered by jo k 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't have to have the ring. It's become so common that many people will probably expect you to have one--or be a little confused when you don't have one.
We were together nearly a year before we got officially engaged--and we talked like we were engaged a while before that. We got together in April 2005 and then got officially engaged this past February. We're getting married next July.
2006-11-10 08:35:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't have to have an engagement ring. You don't even have to have a wedding ring if you don't want to. The are merely symbols. I would think that to be officially engaged he would have had to ask you and you say yes. You tell other people that you are engaged, and either you have set a date, or a tentative date ie. next year or after he graduates from college, etc.
My hubby and I dated for about 5 years (we met in high school) and were officially engaged for about 5 months.
2006-11-10 08:33:47 · answer #9 · answered by kat 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A ring is important only if it is important to you. I am married and don't like, have or want a ring.
If you want others to know you are engaged then you should talk to your boyfriend about it and make a formal announcement (send cards) to people who matter to you. You could also publish an announcement of your engagement in the local paper.
Diamonds are overpriced anyway. I'd rather spend the money towards a downpayment on a home.
2006-11-10 08:27:54 · answer #10 · answered by chillsister 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋