Snooping on your man??

Question

Ok, so I know there is a difference between secrecy and privacy- however, if you suspect your man is doing something that he seems to be hiding from you, what do you do? Is it ok to check his phone messages? Is it ok to look through his pockets? Is it ok to look through his bags (aka MURSE- man purse)? Or, do you think that we should just respect their privacy and not look into this if we are suspicious about something? Sometimes I think that I personally do it because I have been betrayed in the past, but I also notice that I ALWAYS seem to find SOMETHING that I didn't want to see. Sometimes I Find things that I feel I would in turn discuss with him, but now, how do you go about doing that without him thinking you are a nosy snooping lady and he might now think you are NUTS and dont respect his privacy? How do men really feel about this and WHY can't they just tell us the truth so we don't have to start snooping/investigating?

PS- Of course I do some slight snooping, but personally, any man that I date or have dated could go through all of my things and would never come up with ANYTHING because i never have anything to hide! :)

Thanks for your input folks

Answer 1

I personally don't think there's anything wrong with snooping but only if you do have reason to be suspicious. I respect my husband's privacy but if he ever gives me reason to think he's cheating on me, then yes I would look for something to help me find out the truth for myself.
Since the day I began noticing guys I have discovered something, no matter who they are or how good they are they still have that first strike against them, and that first strike is being a man.
And just as you said about yourself, if my husband looked through any of my things he would find nothing incriminating. So if I find nothing in his things, it would simply ease my mind. But if I do find something, then hell hath no fury as a woman scorned.

Answer 2

Here's what I think about that.....you have to figure out why you are snooping. If it is because you have been cheated on or betrayed by some other guy, then you shouldn't be doing that. However, if you feel like you have a reason and that maybe he is not being honest with you or maybe he is hiding something...then I say go right ahead. I have been there.....trust me. Usually your instincts are right. But, if you don't have any legit reason, don't risk it and snoop. It might really screw things up with a great guy.

Answer 3

My girlfriend used to snoop around and get mad over the simplest of things. It really put a strain on our relationship. I'm the type who doesn't like to argue for any reason. Then to have to sit down and defend myself over seemingly nothing was really getting to me. I was about to call things off with her. I had plans to move on. So in my state of mind I left things for her to find on purpose. Call it revenge if you must. I was teaching her a lesson I thought. I was done with the relationship and didn't care. She deserved it. Well, it about drove her insane. She was crying all the time. I realized how much she really cared. So I fessed up to the fake phone number among other things. She didn't react how I thought she would. She was laughing and crying at the same time. Turns out she wasn't mad at me. She was glad I did it. She promised to never suspect me of anything again. That was 7 years ago and I've never been happier with anyone. So the moral to my story is. You're not a bad person for snooping. But you may ruin a good thing if you do.
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Answer 4

I snoop,and when i found something one time,i told him i got a call from a girl and she said this and that ,you know make up something and make it personal and act really hurt and usually they will come out with it or if they make up some other story ,to explain why this "girl"called,you know they are lieing,because you know that yours in phony(either way you have your answer because they are lieing)why lie if nothing is going on?I dont feel bad for it at all,i say to him you shouldnt have it or be doing it ,anyway if we are together,there should be anything i cant look at .He can search me all day long and nothing,so i can do it to him.

Answer 5

It's not a matter of "men" not telling the truth and forcing you to snoop. It's a matter of recognizing liars and dishonest men and not getting involved with them. If you feel such a need to snoop, you're better off ending the relationship. Digging through someone's things is pathetic.

Answer 6

I had a boyfriend as quickly as who snooped by my issues...my wallet, my verify e book, my magazine. grew to become out he become rather insecure and petrified i become going to circulate away him or cheat on him (neither of which I even seen) and become consistently searching for validation or evidence of his fears. finally I dumped him through fact his have faith subjects have been rather stressful. So specific, adult males might nicely be merely as nosey as women human beings. One be attentive to advice, do not do it. Being sneaky and enjoying detective will in basic terms reason issues. in case you have any concerns, talk them out.

Answer 7

Invading ones privacy is never good to do. If it bothers you ask him. tell him why you feel the way you do. If he invaded your privacy I am sure you would be upset with him. Being nosy is one way of letting him know you don't trust him. talk to him..

Answer 8

Not much to add to what Violet said... How would you like someone going through all of your things? Like this question - would he understand you asking it if he 'found' it? Another problem is: where and when does it stop?