My friend's grandfather passed away and they are having a viewing today and a funeral (and cremation) tomorrow. I am going to try my best to go. But what happens if, for any reason I can't go? Can I pay my respects by visiting my friend at home during the week? Should I take a gift? What gift is appropriate to take?
2006-11-10 07:37:37 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Can you make it to the viewing? That would be best if you cannot make it to the funeral. If you can't make it to either, I suggest you send a card to your friend. The grandfather's obituary may give an idea of where any funds/donations can be sent. Some families prefer a donation to charity rather than flowers which will die eventually.
Then, call your friend and ask if you can come over for a visit once everything is done. He/she may welcome the visit.
You do not need to bring a gift. Your presence is the gift.
2006-11-10 08:19:20 · answer #1 · answered by Malika 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you can't attend a viewing or a funeral at all, then you would send flowers, food, notification of a donation to a charity made on the behalf of the deceased.
If you can attend the wake (visitation at the house), that's good too. Bring or mail a sympathy card, and some food.
Generally, it's nice if you can offer to do something for the spouse or close family of the deceased -- something like offering to run errands so they don't have to. In this case just show up with some food (tray of cookies or ziti or something like that).
2006-11-10 15:44:31 · answer #2 · answered by Sweet Mystery of Life 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi there, if you can't go to the funeral tomorrow, you can order flowers or a nice plant from a florist and have it delivered to where the viewing is going to be held. Then I would make sure I would go to my friends house later on in the week and take over something that they like to eat, maybe a favorite food of theirs that will keep for a long time. Also a nice sympathy card from Hallmark will show that you are thinking about them, but I would put this in the mail tonight if you can't make it tomorrow. I'm sorry for your friends loss. =(
2006-11-10 15:47:12 · answer #3 · answered by aloneinga 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take a gift to a funeral. If you feel the need to take something, take food, flowers (for the deceased's grave/memorial), or a handwritten note. If you cannot make it to the funeral, that is fine. Send a note and console your friend when you have a chance. Chances are that will be even more appreciated as she will have other family, friends, and grief obligations at the funeral itself anyway and then you can be there for her when everyone is gone.
2006-11-10 15:47:28 · answer #4 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could send flowers and maybe call her or visit her and express your condolences and let her know you are thinking of her. A gift isn't necessary. If you are unable to visit her then a condolence card would also be appropriate. It's nice that you are being so thoughtful of her. You are a good friend.
2006-11-10 15:48:51 · answer #5 · answered by Tallulah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No gift, except for food. A sympathy card (or better yet, a hand written short note on nice stationery) and a nice casserole or salad that does not go bad quickly would be the best, along with the visit.
2006-11-10 15:41:02 · answer #6 · answered by finaldx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A condolence card is appropriate. You can also pay a call at the person's home, and bringing food is proper. If you are Catholic, or the deceased was, you could have a Mass said at your church for the repose of the deceased's soul.
2006-11-10 15:41:43 · answer #7 · answered by DMBthatsme 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send flowers to the funeral, that's where they all come from! If they have other requests, then honor the deceased that way. Visit your friend soon after.
2006-11-10 17:37:28 · answer #8 · answered by Cub6265 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u cant make it just tell them u are terribly sorry and send or give them flowers.i think flowers are great gifts to give after someone has passed.
2006-11-10 15:46:16 · answer #9 · answered by xxjohndeereblondiexx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, DO NOT SEND CASSEROLES!!!!!! people do not like them, and when they get 40 of them they will go crazy
unless you actually knew her grandpa, dont feel too bad. as long as you wanted to go and tried your hardest, its fine. just be sure to send a (sensible) gift and an apology card.
2006-11-10 15:47:10 · answer #10 · answered by scape.squad.story 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋