2006-11-10 07:32:30 · 9 answers · asked by idwill 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
And when they do, have an affair, they blame the husband, but say they didn't have one..just strange to me...Help!
2006-11-10 07:33:29 · update #1
The "duh" is a big help...lol... read the rest please before the 14 year old comments
2006-11-10 07:36:28 · update #2
the fourth answer regarding sexual attention very enlightening!
2006-11-10 07:37:42 · update #3
Because they are trying to justify themselves and their actions. Subconsciously, they feel guilty and know what they did was wrong, but they don't want to face it. They are in self denial, and excuses (or pointing the blame at someone else) allow them to continue to live in self denial so they don't have to feel guilty.
While the husband might have been neglectful or not have been understanding, if the wife has an affair that is still her decision and she is still fully responsible for it. Just because the husband does wrong, it does not justify the wife if she does wrong (and vice versa).
And though some husbands are neglectful of their wives, some aren't, and it is the wife who is letting herself feel neglected. She may have unrealistic expectations of her husband, and she herself may not be being understanding of him. Each person in a marriage must make up their mind to be satisfied with their partner and with their life; the husband is not responsible for the wife's happiness, neither is the wife responsible for the husband's happiness. Every person must make up their own mind to be happy.
If either the husband or the wife have an affair, it is their own fault and responsibility, regardless of the faults of their spouse.
2006-11-10 07:45:58 · answer #1 · answered by The Link 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For the same reason men do. It is just to make them feel better. Affairs is all about sex. Nothing more than that. Women and men see someone they find attractive and they act on that feeling. Of course, these are the horney ones. Most people who are married are truely in love and would never even think about having sex with someone else. I'm sorry if this happened to you. It's not that they needed attention, they needed the other person's sexual attention. GOD bless.
2006-11-10 07:36:08 · answer #2 · answered by cookie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As you said, it's an "excuse" not a valid reason. People who "need attention" lead very shallow, empty lives and have never learned to be secure with who they are. It's a shame they didn't channel that energy into some positive hobby, or get positive attention by accomplishing things in life. Becoming a lying cheater is a very selfish choice. The cheater could have chosen to volunteer at the children's cancer hospital for "attention".
2006-11-10 07:42:19 · answer #3 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's one thing to say "i needed attention", which may or may not be true. but your husband did not make you sleep with someone else, you CHOSE to do that. that decision, and the responsibility of accepting the repercussions thereof is solely on the shoulders of the cheater.
instead of cheating, people who "need attention" should confront their spouse and deal with the root causes of their "needs", rather than seeking attention elsewhere, and then trying to save the marriage when the infidelity becomes public
2006-11-10 07:38:05 · answer #4 · answered by Heath 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's a lame excuse.. i totally agree, but part of the problem is that ever since we were little we have had to associate sex with intimacy and love..
we've never been trained that sex is human nature..so therefor, we often use the excuse of needing attention to justify something that we were thought to think of as trasy and not respectable..
..and the big problem is a lot of guys who have no respect for woman in relationships know how to feed off of thta.. they know how to "sweet talk a girl" and let her hear everything she wants to hear when she's lonely..and befor eya know it..wham bam thank you ma'am in the budget inn..
2006-11-10 08:23:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because we need attention and if were not getting it from the one we love then it makes it hard not to fall for a guy that wants to give us attention like the one we love did in the beginning
2006-11-10 07:38:32 · answer #6 · answered by i_like_bears 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is in your question. It's just an excuse and a bad one at that..just like the alcohol made me do it is another popular one.
2006-11-10 07:38:02 · answer #7 · answered by . 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because they find it hard to say "sex with you is crap" so they go and find better sex elsewhere....
2006-11-10 07:38:11 · answer #8 · answered by Muffmaster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because we really do need attention, duh!
2006-11-10 07:34:46 · answer #9 · answered by kisme86 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋