My daughter & son-in-law is buying a very large, very expensive historic home. Since I'm their accountant, I'm very familiar with their finances and know that this could be potentially crippling financially if a major repair or other life problem occurred. They have two small children who will also have growing financial needs in the next 10 years. I've tried to counsel them but my daughter gets defensive and tells me to myob.
FYI, my ex and I had a very nice home and he got on drugs and we divorced and I almost ruined my finances.
2006-11-10 07:25:47 · 15 answers · asked by lorelie_35950 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Perhaps you're going about counseling them in the wrong way. If you did the, " FYI, my ex and I had a very nice home and he got on drugs and we divorced and I almost ruined my finances.", thing she's going to shut down and not hear you. It's no offense intended but we (children) like ot believe that we won't or can't repeat our parents' mistakes.
Perhaps, as their accountant, you can show them a spread sheet with hard core numbers. This way you're coming across more as the accountant and less as the parent. I perfectly understand where you're coming from on the historical home aspect as my husband and I have looked into buying one as well. In our state, you can update the appliances, wiring, water and heating systems to modern but you have to keep anything that's visible (even the appliances) within that era's design... which means big bucks for modern reproduction appliances!
Bottom line, if your daughter and son-in-law are unable to respect your advice as an accountant, perhaps you should recommend another accountant to them. Let them know that you truly do have their best interests in mind but if they're unable to listen to your advice then you don't feel it's in your best interest to continue to represent them.
Good luck!
2006-11-10 07:33:45 · answer #1 · answered by cgspitfire 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In your case I would say yes for two reasons. The first as A parent you are speaking out of concern for your child, adult or otherwise. In the second place, if you are their accountant, then you are obliged to tell them when they are making a move that could put them in financial jeopardy. The only thing I could suggest is that once you have put out your opinion, just leave it at that and let them decide what they are going to do. Do not take it personal, they are responsible for their own actions. I would also suggest that you look into ways to prepare them in the event of a situation.
2006-11-10 15:34:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her do it. As their accountant, you'll have proof later that it was a mistake. Of course, you don't want her to make the mistake, but if she says myob, she's just not receptive to the motherly advice and isn't thinking about the fact that the advice is simply finacially based. She is an adult and needs to make her own decisions, even if that means sometimes they don't seem like the smartest ones made.
then again, what if it does work out?
2006-11-10 15:36:28 · answer #3 · answered by Chiky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you would be doing them a favor by offering your experienced advise. You will want to be sure it get said without preaching, however.
As their accountant, you can advise them that this decision will likely make things difficult (you would want to do this with both of them present at the time), however, you will abide by whatever they ultimately decide.
Remember, that, even though you are the parent, and you have many years of wisdom beyond what they can currently fathom, they are human beings, people, who need to learn by trial and error. It's what we all do no matter how much you want to save them the pain.
2006-11-10 15:31:18 · answer #4 · answered by stevegoryan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you can just voice your concerns to both of them. Then I would advice them to ask another accountants advice about their home purchase. You may want to have them get another accountant all together. That is really all you can do, they have to make their own mistakes or their own success. Good luck
2006-11-10 15:35:44 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is give them advice and if they don't want to listen then be there for them if things do go wrong. Sounds like you have done all that you can. Just pray that things will go alright for them.
2006-11-10 15:42:46 · answer #6 · answered by ecp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should definetly speak up about this. just try to be calm about it and explain all the details to her and her husband, and hopefully they'll understand. buying a home is not something to just jump into without knowing everything ahead of time. good luck!
2006-11-10 15:30:13 · answer #7 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a parent no, but as their accountant, give them the numbers.
2006-11-10 15:29:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, of course you should speak up..
If they were simply clients and not children would you not
give them good advice in a similar situation ?
2006-11-10 15:28:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would offer your advice first as their accountant and then as her mother. Of course they might not listen to you, but it's worth a shot.
2006-11-10 15:28:14 · answer #10 · answered by insidemyhyundai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋