My two year old is making me fall apart?

Question

He doesn't listen and he is constantly in timeout. He hits his sister and wakes her up all of the time. I never have time for my baby because he takes up all of her time. I am having a nervous break down. I don't have anytime for my daughter and I feel bad. he knows he is upsetting me. Even though I spend all of my time with my son he still acts like a baby. I'm in tears and in a stressful sitaution. I can't drop my son with anyone else. I need to know what to do with the both of them. Serious answers please.

Answer 1

I've always used the positive reply approach. I mean I accent the times he is being good more than I do spending time yelling at him when he is bad. This worked with my older daughter too and it seems to be working with my 3yr old as well. Ex. "Wow Caleb, you are being such a big boy and being so good right now for mommy. Thank you soooooooo much baby." I do this when he isn't even expecting it. He gets such a big smile and seems to be the proudest kid in the world at the time. When he is bad I do this, "Who is this little boy that is being so bad? Has anyone seen my little Caleb?" Then I pretend like I'm looking around and over him to find an imaginary person. He gets distracted by my silliness and starts laughing and says "I'm right here mommy." Then I might reply, "OHHHH there you are baby, you should of seen this ugly little boy that was just here, he is nothing like you." Heck is works for me. As far as tantrums, well I threw myself on the ground beside my daughter and acted just like she did, kicking and screaming. She got so tickled about seeing me like that she never did it again. Good luck.

Answer 2

I've had some trouble with my four year old being jealous of the baby too. What has worked for me is making the older child feel like a "big kid". Big kids get to do things that babies can't do (eat food, play with toys, etc). Big kids can also show baby how they do things (I ask her to show her toys to the baby, show her the picture she has made, etc). I also try to spend quality time with her when the baby is sleeping or nursing. Sometimes while I'm nursing, I'll read a story to the older one.

I'd be very concerned about the hitting. There is a great book for toddlers called "Hands are not for hitting". Maybe you can get it from the library? Another great book is "I'm a Big Brother".

Sometimes you need to just ignore them when they act like babies. When they realize they are not getting any attention, they will stop.

The most important thing you can do for them is to take care of you ('cause no one else is going to). Make sure you are getting enough rest so that you can care for them (trust me, I know how hard that part is). You may even want to talk to your doctor and mention how stressed out you are becoming. Perhaps they have some suggestions for how you can cope and if they feel you are expereincing post partum depression, they can help you with that too.

Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

I am in the same situation. My daughter was 26 months old when my son was born. It was very crazy at first, every time I would nurse him she would hit him. She spentt a lot of time in her room and it time out. It's been 7 months and there are still crazy days but I guess what I'm trying to say is that it does get better. Your oldest will get used to the idea of having a sibling, and as your youngest get older and less needy it will free up some time to give to your son. It's hard. Try whenever possible to spen time alone with your son, to give him "special" time. That's what most of this is about anyway. Good luck!

Answer 4

bringing a new baby home is stressful on other kids. When I brought my son home , my other two children acted up constantly. If you need a break, put the boy in a room where he cant hurt himself and lock the door. THEN you go to another room and take a sanity break. Dont think you are failing your children as a mom if you do so. Its better to step out of the moment and catch your breath, than losing your mind completly.

GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 5

Bless Your Heart.
I promise you this will get better. Sounds like you need to
change the way you approach him, he is use to how you
punish him now and it doesn't seem to bother him. So
try something new. A hand across the butt is good, time outs
are good, but try putting a small chair in a corner of the room
where you can watch him and make him face the corner
for a short time.This worked on mine, they hated looking
at the wall. But I agree with the other Moms to include him
in things you do with your new baby. Have him be your little
helper, kids love that.
Just hang in there, you will get thru this. If nothing else you
will learn PATIENCE.

Answer 6

Many churches have mom's day out programs. I know you don't want to drop him off anywhere but this might help. Invite a friend over with a child his age to play, maybe he'll be so into the friend that he'll mellow out during this time. You can talk to anohter mom and spend time with the baby. Invite a neighbor over to help out with the 2 year old. Maybe even a child from the neighborhood when he/she gets home from school. It could be like a job for the child and he/she will love it.

Answer 7

You need to nip it in the butt NOW because it will only get worse. You have to be constant with his punishment. Keep putting him back in time outs until he listens. Make sure you let him know when you are feeding the baby, he needs to play on his own. Have him help you get stuff for the baby. Have him get diapers/wipes for you. Don't spend time with him OR her spend time with them both. Play clapping games with them both. He is jelous of her and wants mommy to himself. He needs to know you love him just as much as the baby. He knows you're stressed and is going to keep going with it until you firm up and keep your cool. Also, talk to the father here, he needs to help with this as well.

Answer 8

OK this might sound bad to most people but it works for most kids. SPANK his butt. When he acts out tell him to go to time out if that does not work spank him. Don't hit spank. When he hits his sister smack his had tell him no. Smack his hand and ask him if he likes to be hit. Take toys and TV away from him. Take his favorite toy or don't let him wathc his show but if you doi that tell him why you are doing it. Make sure he always knows why you have spanked him, smacked his hand or taken something away. Good luck

Answer 9

Try to get your son involved as your special helper.
Tell him...mommy needs your help..Please go and get me a diaper for your sister....
Closely monitored of course...Let him feed the baby.
Praise him....mommy couldn't do this without you...you are such a big helper.
Special playtime when he's good. When he is bad, tell him don't yell..just say you are acting very badly, and mommy doesn't like you right now.
If he is being a real pain. Tell him I am going to count to 3, if you don't stop you will be spanked!
Never threaten without following through!
Seems like he has trained...time for you switch it around

Answer 10

If time out isn't working, it's time to get yourself a paddle and use it. If he hits the baby, bust his butt. He's acting out because it gets your attention and it's a cycle you have to break. Bust his butt, tell him in a loud voice "DO NOT HIT YOUR SISTER!" (or whatever he was doing that is against the rules) and put him in his room. You may have to be the enforcer for a while, but when he sees that his behavior gets him negative attention, then put by himself, he will eventually get the message. Could just be the terrible twos, and a bit of jealousy. It will eventually pass, but you you have to get his attention first and break the behavior cycle.